Opposites
by Kyler Conroy
Summary: Indefinite Hiatus. I don't have the inspiration or time. I will finish it when I can. Taichi and Yamato are complete opposites. In a school that bullies the different, these two rage a silent battle against each other.With friends bringing them closer, they may just end up being more similar then they think.
1. Mad World

**Announcment: This is currently unbetad. Chrono-contract (my beta) and I are having e-mail issues, plus I've barley been home over the past month and a half to work on them. Sorry for the mistakes. As soon as the e-mail problem is fixed I will re-post the "non-grammatical sucky" version. Enjoy. **

A/n: First chapter of Opposites. I decided since the last chapter of A Life to Live took me so long, I would give you the final chapter of ALTA and the first of Opposites at the same time. Enjoy. It's completely AU by the way.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the show characters. I do own Tevin, the band, and anyone who isn't a show reg. Neither I nor Yamato own the music that is supposedly Yamato's. It will be a variety of musicians that he plays throughout this fic. This chapter contains music by Tears for Fears. The song is _Mad World. _If you want to hear the version Yamato is singing look up Gary Joules. It's a cover he did. Also, lyrics may not be in the actual order of the song. I'm going to move things around to fit my wants and needs because I can. ^.^

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><p>The wet towel slipped from Taichi's grasp over the bin and he exited the locker room. Although he knew all these early morning practices were going to help and pay off for his team, getting up every day at 4:00 am was starting to wear on him. Especially since he still had eight hours of school, and another three hour football practice to look forward to afterward. His now damp hair hung slightly in his face and he shook his head to try and get some of it to move out of his eyesight. He tried to ignore the echoing of his shoes as he made his way through the empty halls to the Junior locker section where he would have at least a fifteen minute break before the onslaught of classes. He padded down the halls taking in the early morning calm.<p>

Soon the hallways would be full of his fellow peers and he would no longer be alone with his thoughts. It wasn't until he turned down what he thought was an empty music hallway that he learned he wasn't as alone as he thought. He could hear soft chords from a piano circling out through the hallway and he stopped in his tracks. He knew who was playing that song. Someone he hadn't talked to in a long time. In fact it was the same song that he was playing last time they spoke. Memories came flooding back to him as his eyes glazed over and he stared at the shut door. A soft beautiful voice filled his head.

"_All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for the daily races. Going no where, going no where . Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, no tomorrow"_

The words made Taichi shiver. He didn't know what to do other then sit against the wall behind him and listen to the haunting voice. He knows the lyrics well, the last time he'd heard them he was actually helping the person piece them together. Now that he heard them together, he realized what a haunting and sad song it actually was. His eyes slide shut and he can almost picture himself and the other person sitting together in his room going over the lyrics.

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><p>"<em>Thanks for helping me with this Taichi. I know you'd rather be out playing football. (1) I promise you can play, but this upcoming talent show is going to be so awesome. I can't believe I got other kids to join a band with me! Akira, Takashi, and Yukata are awesome. They're going to come over and we're going to have a jam session!" Taichi made a face as Yamato brought up the three other guys. "Is the something wrong Tai?" He asked his head cocked to the side. <em>

"_Yama those kids are bad news. Why do you even want to be friends with them? I mean, Rikuto was telling me-_

"_Rikuto? You trust Rikuto over them? Why? He's a jerk. He locked me in a locker the other day you know that?" Yamato's eyes were icy and Taichi knew that he had to be careful where he stepped next. One wrong word and he wouldn't be talking to Yamato for a week. _

"_Yama, we're seventh graders. That's how they initiate us. They didn't mean any harm." Taichi said n a matter of fact tone.. "You are just reading too much into it." _

"_Did you get shoved into a locker Taichi?" Taichi closed his eyes and sighed. Full name, which meant Yamato was dangerously close to being pissed. Yamato took his silence as an answer. "That's what I thought Taichi. He's mean. Maybe he's the one you should be looking out for instead of Akira 'n them." _

"_Rikuto is on the football team Yama. He's one of my friends. He's popular and doesn't hang out with drug addicts. How can you say he's the bad one here Yama? I heard that Akira was talking to Hachi from tenth grade. He's like the biggest druggie there is! How are they better then Rikuto? I think you just got your feelings hurt and are reading too much into it Yama." _

"_I think that you need to consider who you hang out with! He shoved me in a locker. He stole stuff from Jou. How can you think he's a good guy?" Yamato asked standing up and poking Taichi in the chest. _

"_He cool Yamato, why wouldn't he be a good guy? Besides, he told me that Akira and Takashi are dating." _

"_So?"_

"_They're gay Yamato! Haven't' you ever heard of chicks before dicks?(2)"_

"_You mean that the fact they may be different from you bothers you?" Yamato asked his friend softly. Taichi just stared at him before it finally clicked what the blonde was talking about. _

"_Yamato that isn'-_

"_Uhg I can't talk to you right now! Just leave." Yamato said huffing and turning away from Taichi. Taichi rolled his eyes and picked up his stuff. He was used to Yamato acting like this. It would blow over in a day or two. _

"_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad__. __The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had__. __I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take__. __When people run in circles it's a very, very__Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world__Mad world"_

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><p>If Taichi would have known back then that argument would have lead to where he was now- listening like a creeper to any music Yamato was playing- he wasn't so sure if he would have kept insisting that Yamato was wrong. He shook his head. He liked where he was. He was popular, captain of the football team, and half of the girls in the school wanted him. He couldn't be happier. Although… the other half… He jerked out of his thoughts when he heard the door to the music room open. He hadn't realized the voice had stopped. Just as he suspected a tall blonde walked out of the door and stopped when he saw Taichi standing outside. The two just looked at each other. Icy blue meeting hard brown. Yamato scoffed and turn to walk down the hallway away from Taichi. "Fag," Taichi said regretting it as it slipped out of his mouth. The icy eyes were back. Taichi felt his heart stop for a second as Yamato moved toward him.<p>

"Taichi! Where are you?" A voice called breaking the moment between the two. Tai looked away for a brief second to see who was calling him. When he looked back Yamato was nowhere in sight. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding on to as two of his football teammates rounded the corner. Daisuke and Kazi caught up with him. Daisuke spoke again looking at his mentor with worry. "What are you doing in the music wing? I thought you avoided it at all cost?"

"I was taking a short cut. It is so early I didn't expect to see…

"Wait the Ice Princess was here wasn't he?" Kazi said from the other side of Taichi. The brunet nodded in response and Daisuke gave out an exasperated sigh.

"Don't call him that. Honestly what do you guys have against Yamato? He doesn't seem that bad." Daisuke said looking down the direction Yamato had scampered off in. "What did he ever do to you?"

"Breath?" Kazi suggested laughing at his own joke. Taichi only gave him a small smirk before turning to Daisuke.

"He's just a bad guy. I used to hang out with him. He went down the wrong path and now he's got to pay for it. It's no wonder no one likes him but his little faggy friends. I know you're a freshman Daisuke but trust me. Yamato wouldn't think twice about taking you down if you even approach him."

"Tevin likes him." Daisuke said, pointing out the one football player who actually talked to the blonde misfit.

"Tevin is… well Tevin." Taichi said as if it explained everything. "C'mon we'll be late for class."

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><p>"<em>Went to school and I was very nervous<em>_. __No one knew me, no one knew me__. __Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?__Look right through me, look right through me."_

"Yami!" Yamato grit his teeth and ignored the name being called. He didn't want to deal with anyone right now. "Yami!" Especially a two-tone- haired sophomore who thinks he- "YAAAMI" knows everything and can talk to anyone. "YAAAMMMMIII"

"What?" Yamato snapped stopping mid stride. He smirked, satisfied with himself when he felt the sophomore run into his back. "What do you need Tevin? I don't want to talk to anyone and certainly not anyone from the football team."

"I wanted to know if you were still going to go to that party with Takeru and me."

"No"

"Aww, but we want you to come. It's being held by the basketball team. Takeru really wants you to go and support him."

"Fine, only because it will get you to leave me alone faster. What have I told you about calling me Yami by the way?"

"To do it because you love it?" Tevin asked as they stopped near Yamato's locker. Blue eyes rolled in annoyance. "What? You remind me of Yami. I think it's a good nickname."

"How do I remind you of that character from that overrated show?"

"Yu-Gi-Oh(3) is not overrated. I like it. And one: Blonde hair-

"His isn't only blonde... it's got other colors too."

" Two: The similarities between you and Takeru-

"We're nothing like Yugi and Yami."

"Three: Your protectiveness of said brother-

"Yugi isn't Yami's brother and I barley like my brother"

"Well, I see it. Hey where are you going?" Tevin asked noticing that Yamato had left him.

"Class. The late bell is about to ring. Better get a move on Tevin!" Yamato shouted, just as he walked into his classroom. A second later the second bell rang through the school. Tevin cursed before taking off toward his locker. This would be his third detention. Taichi was going to kill him. He'd have to miss a practice.

"_Children waiting for the day they feel good__. __Happy birthday, happy birthday__. __And I feel the way that every child should__, __Sit and listen, sit and listen"_

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><p>The subwoofer speakers beat out the heavy music and Yamato sighed from his corner of the room. He still wasn't sure why he came to this party. He got up to make his way out the door. He'd promised an hour and it was up. Time to leave. "Yami! Where are you going?"<p>

"My hour's up. I'm going to go home and do something that isn't this."

"Aww please stay? I promise it will get better."

"Yeah Ya-ma-to! Stay, maybe someone will find you a boyfriend." Yamato turned around to find the source of the scathing words. To no surprise Sora sat in front of him holding onto a drink that looked like it was going to fall right out of her hands.

"What do you want Takenouchi? There are plenty of guys on the other side of the room who would be more than happy that you can't keep your legs shut. Why talk to me?" Yamato said his voice void of emotion. The look on Sora's face was good enough for him. He smirked and went to move away to come face to face with Taichi.

"What did you just say to my girlfriend?" Taichi asked his eyes were narrowing and hands were balling into fists. "Did you just call her easy?"

"Nah, that's too polite for the likes of her. I called her a skank why?" Yamato asked, looking around as if the conversation was boring him. Taichi growled and took a swing at him. Yamato easily dodged and decided to remove himself from the party all together. "Thanks Tevin. I had loads of fun." He said before slamming the door. He leaned against the door and rubbed his face. He couldn't figure out what possessed him to actually come to this party. It wasn't like he had friends here. Still… his mind wandered back to that morning. When he'd left the music room Taichi had been standing outside. "What were you doing out there Taichi?" he wondered to himself as he made his way to his car.

"Dad! I'm home!" he said when he entered the apartment. He was met by silence and he sighed. Moving to the fridge he saw the note attached to the fridge. He rolled his eyes and pulled it off. "Of course you aren't home." Without reading it he tossed it in the garbage and moved to his bedroom. He fell against his bed and let himself fall asleep.

"_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad__. __The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had__. __I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take__. __When people run in circles it's a very, very__  
><em>_Mad world, mad world"_

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><p>1: If I've said it once, I've said it many, many times. I don't like the word soccer but that is what I'm talking about. You should all know this by now if you've followed me at all. I think I bring it up every time Taichi is introduced in one of my stories.<p>

2: Yes I know this is actually the opposite of Bros before Hoes and it means something completely different. However; Taichi is twelve. He doesn't know this.

3: I've been watching this show as of late and couldn't help but make this comparison. Mainly because the two are nothing alike.

A/n: Yep. That's the first chapter. This will be Taito in the end… I know it's so easy to see that from the first chapter. They're just so madly in love.


	2. Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet

**Notice: Still unbetaed. The problem should be fixed soon. Sorry.**

A/n: here is the next chapter of Opposites. This chapter is written in inspiration to the song "Which to Bury Us or the Hatchet" By Relient K. The lyrics might be off, I checked a few websites and they all varied. So if you notice they're wrong just send me a message and I'll change them. Taichi isn't very nice to Yamato in this chapter. But I swear it gets better. Thanks to Akira Nishikawa and Sumi19 for reviewing! And thank you to Phantom Boo for adding it to favorites.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Per usual I don't own the lyrics in this chapter and neither does Yamato.

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><p>With a frustrated growl Yamato balled up the paper he'd been working on and through it across the room. A week after the party he'd gone too, he found himself without inspiration for a new song. Every time he would try and write an image of Taichi standing outside the music room would pop into his head. <em>What had he been doing there? <em>Logically Yamato knew that it was a shortcut from the locker rooms to Taichi's locker, but even with that being said the brunet boy normally would still avoid that section of hallway. In their freshman year of High school, Taichi had deemed the music wing the "faggitory" and refused to step foot anywhere near it, so why was he standing outside the door now? Yamato sighed in frustration before giving up on writing a new song. It wasn't worth the trouble of trying to figure out one Yagami, Taichi to work through his writers block. Eventually all thoughts of the brunet would cease and he could continue. Until then he would just have to wait.

He gave another frustrated growl as memories of his past fluttered past his eyes. It seemed there was no getting rid of Taichi at this point. He groaned and fell back into his bed getting lost at the memories that refused to yield. Moments of childhood flickered through his mid, like a deck of cards caught into the wind until one particular memory pushed its way to the front of his mind. It was the moment he first met Tachi.

_A five year old Yamato sat happily in the sand box with a bucket and pail to boot. He'd worked the entire hour he'd spent here working on a sandcastle, and now it was almost perfect. He'd even created a small mote around the sandcastle using the water spigot from over near the benchers where his father sat watching him with a smile. Ever since his mother had left his father had done everything in his power to take Yamato to the park everyday, however the promise was starting to be broke. This had been the first time in nearly a week and a half Yamato had gotten to come here and he was going to make it last. _

_He smiled as he put the finishing touches on his sandcastle. The tallest tower now held a neat little flag fashioned from a twig and a leaf. He smiled at his creation and stood to pad over to his father to show him his hard work. That moment of joy never came however; the moment he stood up, a small brunet boy around the same age as him fell backwards into his castle. Icy blue eyes glared at the brunet boy as he stood and wiped himself off. "That wasn't fair Daisuke! Hika distracted me for you." The brunet yelled at the two younger children who it seemed had pushed the older down. _

"_Hey!" Yamato yelled as the brunet moved to chase the children that were now running away from him. Brown eyes turned to him in shock. "You knocked over my sand castle. Aren't you even going to apologize?" Yamato asked in his best grown up scathing voice that he could. The brown eyed boy blinked before responding. _

"'_m really sorry. I'm Taichi. Do you wanna come play?" _

"_No" Yamato humphed turning away and starting his castle over again. He missed Taichi shrug his shoulders and turn away. _

"_Yamato!" he walked over at his father who was yelling his name. "Yamato I want to introduce you to Mrs. Yagami. It seems she lives in the same apartment complex as us and has agreed to take you to the park every day. She even has a son around the same age as you. Isn't that great?" Yamato's eyes widened, "_Please _don't let it be…" he thought in his head as Taichi ran up to his side. The woman looked down at him. _

"_This is my son Taichi. Taichi say hello to Yamato. You'll be playing with him every day now." _

"_Do I have too? He was mean earlier." Taichi said sticking his tongue out at Yamato. The blonde boy's head dropped and he kicked the sand by his feet. _

"_I didn't want to play with you anyway." He said moving to hide behind his father. Taichi sighed and scrambled over to the blonde. _

"'_m sorry. We can be best friends?" He asked hopefully pushing out his had to Yamato. Reluctantly Yamato nodded and grabbed his hand._

"_I think you know what I'm getting at__. __I find it so upsetting that__,__ the memories that you select, you keep the bad but the good you just forget."_

Yamato scrubbed at his eyes as the memory played. He didn't want to be remembering any of this. If Taichi still didn't want to be his friend he wasn't sure why all these memories were playing. It was almost like they were telling Yamato to give the brunet a second chance. That was something that Yamato would never do. He sighed and rolled over in his bed lying on his stomach. The cool night air played its way through his window and brushed against his skin, making it almost impossible for him to fall asleep. Yamato growled and rolled off his bed. "If sleep is going to elude me..." he mumbled pulling on his slippers and making his way out to the fire escape of his house.

He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one sucking in the smoke and blowing it out evenly.(1) "When did you start smoking?" A voice to his right asked. Yamato looked over in disinterest to see none other than Taichi sitting out on his own fire escape watching the limited stars that were visible through the city smog. Yamato scoffed and placed the cigarette back between his lips and blew out another puff.

"When did you start to care again?" He asked his voice void of emotion. This wasn't the first time the brunet had ventured a conversation with him on the fire escape each and every time Yamato had shut down his questions until Taichi got too frustrated with him and either called him something or just left. More smoke entered his mouth as he waited for Taichi to take the bait. He loved this part of the game between them. At school Tai won by the sheer fact that he had his friends. When they were alone, at moments like this, Yamato struck and took his chance.

"I don't. I just- What happened to us?" Taichi asked letting his head fall back against the brick wall behind him. "We used to be so close. I couldn't help but hear that song I helped you write a while back. It's so haunting now. I feel like it has nothing to do with me. When did we stop being best friends Yama?" Despite his personal mantra of "I won't show emotion" Yamato couldn't help but let out a biting laugh at the question posed before him.

"I think you know quite well when we stopped being friends. Or close as you put it." Yamato said placing air quotes around the word close. He felt rather then saw Taichi move his head to stare at him. "Don't look at me like that." Taichi's face scrunched up in anger and Yamato smirked around his cigarette. "It's cute really, that you're so worked up over this, but drop it Taichi. We aren't friends anymore. You can't just come crashing in and out of my life as you see fit. We're finished. We have been for quite some time."

"When did you become such a dick?" Taichi asked the anger in his voice present. Yamato took another drag before looking over to the brunet.

"Around the same time you decided I liked sucking them." He drawled out throwing his finished butt at Taichi. Taichi jumped back on quick reflexes.

"Ass." He growled before climbing back into his house. Yamato let out the last of the smoke and did the same.

"_And even though I'm angry I can still say;__I know my heart will break the day__, __when you peel out and drive away.__I can't believe this happened.__And all this time I never thought; __  
><em>_that all we had would be all for naught"_

Taichi was still reeling from the conversation he had with Yamato. _"I think you know quite well when we stopped being friends."_ The words the blonde had spoken would not stop circling his head. He couldn't believe that Yamato was still mad about that. The moment Yamato was referring too had happened the summer after their eighth grade year, and it wasn't like Taichi had done anything horribly wrong. He scoffed "Stupid Yamato" he muttered before throwing himself onto the bed. As he shut his eyes, memories of his past flooded back to him.

_Taichi was racing to the high school. He couldn't believe his luck. Out of all the upcoming ninth graders' _He_ had been chosen to jump straight into the varsity team, and now, on his first day of practice he was going to be _late._ He checked his phone and groaned pedaling his bike faster. There was no way that he was going to be late. As he approached the high school he noticed all the football players circled around the flag pole on the campus of the school. Deciding he'd better join them he peddled over and came to a stop. The captain of the football team spotted him and came racing over to greet him. "Taichi just in time. We have an... initiation task for you." _

"_Uh sure, what is it? I'll do anything." Taichi answerd leaving his bike where it sat and following the older player. His gut was in knots as they drew closer to the flag pole. He knew that something was wrong, but couldn't figure out what. As he moved past the people the problem became clear. Tied to the flag pole was none other than Yamato himself. By the looks of it he'd already been beaten up a bit with a black eye gracing his usual pristine features. His shirt had been ripped open and a bruise covered his stomach. Taichi felt his insides turn again and he almost threw up. "Wha- what are you doing to him?"_

"_It's not what we're doing. It's what you're going to do." Another of the football players said handing Taichi a spray paint can. "Write fag across his stomach. We caught him behind the football field earlier making out with Yukata that little gay twerp. We tried to catch both of them and make a statement but this stupid little blondie pushed his fairy friend to leave and tried to take us on all by himself." Taichi looked around and noticed a few of the other players were sporting injuries of their own. (2)_

"_What's wrong with being gay?" Taichi asked, after his previous fight with Yamato almost a year ago, he'd finally woken up to the notion that being gay didn't make you bad. "Why are you doing this?" _

"_Its disgusting Taichi. You can either join us or end up like him. You decide." Taichi bit his bottom lip but shook the can anyway. He moved over to Yamato and with a shaking hand pressed the top of the can. _

"'_Chi, please don't do this." Yamato whispered to him when he got close enough. Tears leaked out of Taichi's eyes but he ignored them and continued his task. _

"'_M sorry Yama. I have too. I can't be friends with a fag." Taichi said letting the can fall out of his hands. The hurt that flashed through Yamato's eyes was unmistakable. Taichi turned around and left the marked boy behind. _

"_No, I don't hate you__, __don't want to fight you. You know I'll always love you,__  
><em>_but right now I just don't like you."_

_The sound of crying woke Taichi up almost instantly. Confused he looked around for his little sister. When he found her asleep on the bed beneath him his confusion only grew. He groaned and rubbed his bleary eyes looking around his empty room, the noise appeared to be coming from outside his house he sighed and moved over to the window opening it and climbing out onto the fire escape. _

_He peered into the darkness to find blonde hair. Yamato had his head resting on the banister and tears falling down his face. Taichi's heart broke at the sight as he pondered what he should do. How do you comfort someone whose pain you caused, especially when he hadn't talked to or been near the boy in nearly a month and a half? "'Mato?" He asked softly. Yamato jerked up and turned to face him. _

"_Don't call me that." He hissed icy eyes glaring in the dark. "You aren't my friend. Not anymore. How could you _do_ that to me?" _

"_I- I had too. I'm not like you I-_

"_What gay? A fairy? A fag?" Yamato asked scathingly pulling his hands away from the banister and folding them in onto himself. _

"_No, I can't just ignore what others think of me and be myself. Don't you understand? I'm on varsity. There aren't a lot of freshman who can say that. I really have an opportunity here. How can you expect me to just walk away from it?" Taichi asked his whispered voice angry and confused. "I'm sorry that I have to fit in and you can continue to be in whatever crowd you choose. Not all of us can do that. As my friend I can't believe you'd make me choose." _

"_Well I guess it's a good thing we aren't friends anymore. I wouldn't want my feelings or morality to get in the way of you having friends." Yamato spat turning to shimmy back into his house. _

"_You are such a Faggot-"Taichi's eyes widened at what he'd said. Yamato whipped around in shock. _

"_Just trying to fit in huh?" He asked before disappearing into his house._

" _No, I don't hate you__. __Don't want to fight you.__You know I'll always love you__, __but right now I just don't like you__. __'Cause you took this too far"__  
><em>~  
>As the next school day drew closer, Yamato found himself behind the school with the other smokers taking one final cigarette before the day began. He sighed as Taichi jogged up from the football field. Of course the brunet would walk past him. Taichi just glared and rolled his eyes at the cigarette before brushing past him. The rest of the team followed a similar fashion each one of them throwing some kind of insult at him as they headed through the door. "They never stop do they?" Akira, one of his friends said mildly from the other side of him. Yamato let out his smoke as the last team member went in.<p>

"Yeah." Was his only reply to the black haired boy next to him.

"Uhm… Yamato?" Yamato looked around in question. His eyes settled on a short brown haired boy with goggles permanently attached to his head. Taichi's goggles.

"Oh god. Its Taichi's clone." Akira said mockingly putting up two crossed fingers towards Daisuke. Yamato smirked before shooing the other boy away.

"Look, kid, whatever initiation prank Taichi set you up for, lets get it over with so I can continue on with my day. Or we can skip it and I'll personally tell him you gave me hell." Daisuke looked at the blonde in utter confusion before stumbling over a few words. "You aren't here for that?" Yamato asked surprised. Daisuke shook his hear and opened his mouth to speak again. "Then why are you here. I don't talk to football players. They're just stupid jocks."

"No its not that. I just- I have this friend from another school – Ken Ichijouji. He's a really great guy but no one in his school will talk to him 'cause they think he's stuck up."

"And this has to do with me because…?" Yamato interrupted already tired of the amount of talking Daisuke did.

"Well… not much, but you kind of remind me of him, and he's always alone… so I figured you must feel the same way. I figured since you talk to Tevin you can't be completely against talking to jocks, and I was wondering – even if you are going to say no- if you wanted to come hang out with my friend Ken, Tevin and I sometime. I mean we're really great people and I don't agree with everythin-

"Let me stop you there- uh what is it Daisuke?- I know you probably either think this is a really funny prank. It's not. Or if by some miracle you are being serious then I just want to tell you. Don't associate with me. Anyone who does will just lose their friends. Look at my band mates. They're the only ones I talk to. You're better off with those jocks Daisuke. If Taichi so much as catches you looking at me he won't allow you on the team. Or he, like so many others, will do something so terrible that you'll be forced to make your decision of where your loyalties lie." Yamato said leaning back against the wall. He felt a pang of guilt at the sincere hurt that crossed Daisuke's face, but it needed to be said. There wasn't anything he could do about that.

"But-

"Really, kid, just beat it." Hanging his head in defeat Daisuke took off leaving Yamato to finish his cigarette. The blonde just didn't know what to think. Where did Taichi's minions get off talking to him like that?"

"_Make your decision and don't you dare think twice__, __go with your instincts along with some bad advice__. __This didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all__you blame me but some of this is still your fault"_

That night as he was on the fire escape for his smoke Taichi came out again. "I heard Daisuke tried to befriend you." Taichi said with his back against the wall not looking at Yamato. Mimicking Taichi's stance Yamato took in another drag of his cigarette. "Are you going to let this one follow you around like Tevin?" Yamato continued to ignore him and finished off his cigarette. "So what, you won't even talk to me Yamato?" Taichi said as the other boy went to go back through his window. "I thought – even if we aren't friends- that we could at least have some form of communication out here. It's not like anyone will hear us."

"We wouldn't want that now would we?" Yamato replied scathingly. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your new little pet Yagami- Don't bother." And with that he was gone. Taichi just growled in frustration before going back into his house.

_"I tried to move you but you just wouldn't budge__. __I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge__. __I think you know what I'm getting at,__you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that"_  
>~<p>

As Yamato walked towards the school the next day he saw something that made his stomach turn. Standing around the flag pole was the entire football team – minus Taichi and Tevin- with a little bit of searching Yamato found Tevin being held back by two of his fellow football mates. Daisuke was standing in the middle of them all staring at a pale dark haired boy attached to the pole. "-C'mon Daisuke paint his stomach. He's not even from our school. He is from the rival team this Friday. WE caught the little fag going to practice with his teammates."

"Daisuke don-" Tevin started to say before one of the other boys clamped his hand over his mouth.

"I-I can't Daisuke said dropping the spray paint. "Ken's my friend. I've met him before." Daisuke moved to untie the poor boy from the pole. One of the larger football player made to lunge for him. Yamato stepped in the way, grabbing him and pushing him back.

"Leave. Before I get angry." Yamato said his eyes as icy as possible. With a scoff the football player backed off.

"C'mon guys we should go before the ice princess gets her panties in a twist." They left laughing at Yamato's expence. Yamato moved over to Tevin.

"Hey, you alright Tev?" He asked helping the boy up.

"'M fine Yami. Just glad that Daisuke made the right decision." Tevin said before heading over to help out Daisuke and Ken. Yamato made his way slowly over and handed his jacket to Ken so he could cover up the bruises on his stomach. Daisuke looked at him in awe.

"Why did you help us out. I though you said it wasn't worth getting involved in?" Daisuke asked leading a limping Ken towards the school followed by Yamato and Tevin.

"I don't like to see repeats." Yamato said, he caught sight of Taichi standing at the doors. He glared at Taichi before pushing past him with the others around him. "I think I'll take you up on that offer Daisuke. I'd love to get to know you."

"What changed your mind if you don't mind me asking?" Daisuke said.

"I told you. I don't like to see repeats."

"_No, I don't hate you__, __don't want to fight you. You know I'll always love you,__but right now I just don't like you__. __No, I don't hate you__, __don't want to fight you__. __You know I'll always love you__but right now I just don't like you"_

Taichi couldn't believe what had just transpired before his eyes. The exact same scene of his first days of football played back to him. Although this time karma had to be a bitch and throw back in his face the decision that he made. There was no way that he was going to get Daisuke removed from the team. He was too good of a player, but if he didn't the other players would be pissed. It didn't matter. He was captain. Daisuke stayed. Besides he'd told the rest of the team a long time ago to quit with the tying people to flag poles or beating them up.

He walked down the silent halls for a second time just listening to the now empty school. He could never think when people were around him. Just as before as he walked down the empty music hallway he heard music coming from the room. He peaked in the door and could see Yamato and his band jamming out on the instruments. Yamato looked up at him and their eyes locked.

"_And wisdom always chooses__, __these black eyes and these bruises__. __Over the heartache that they say__, __Never completely goes away__(I just can't believe this happened__and one day we'll see this come around)__. __And wisdom always chooses__,__ these black eyes and these bruises__. __Over the heartache that they say__, __never completely goes away."_

Taichi shook his head. These thoughts weren't what he wanted to be thinking. He had to focus on these thoughts. Yamato chose his path long ago and it's time he chose his. Why did what Yamato think suddenly matter to him again? It didn't make any sense. He'd gone so long with ignoring the blonde and now all of the sudden it's like he couldn't survive without the other around.

"We haven't been friends in years. Get him out of your head Taichi" he said to himself moving away from the music room. Still as he found himself going home, his MP3 player was blaring music from _The Teenage Wolves_. Yamato's band. Although he'd told everyone that he would never buy a CD, he couldn't just ignore the music that he helped write- well not so much write as enjoy. Either way he couldn't help but support Yamato. The music was good.

"Ahh.." He yelled smacking his head. Why was it all of the sudden that these emotions just kept popping up in his head. He was sick of this. He and Yamato would never be friends again and he needed to deal with that. "He's just a stupid fag!" Taichi yelled at no one in particular.

Somehow the words didn't make him feel any better.

"_No, I don't hate you__, __don't want to fight you__. __You know I'll always love you__, __but right now I just don't like you__. __No, I don't hate you__, __don't want to fight you__. __You know I'll always love you__  
><em>_but right now I just don't like you__, __'cause you took this too far"__  
><em>  
>~<p>

That night when they were both on the balcony for the third night in a row, Taichi chose not to say anything. It's not like Yamato would say anything back to him. They weren't friends. Those words circled in his head. He still wished on one level of his mind that things would go back to the way before he'd said all those words that he didn't mean. He missed being Yamato's friend. No. No he didn't. He snapped out of his thoughts to see that Yamato had gone in for the night. "Figures he didn't say anything. Stupid jerk." Taichi mumbled going back into his house.

Why did he want to be friends with Yamato again anyway? He sighed in frustration as that question popped back to the forefront of his mind again. (3)

"_What happened to us__, __I heard that it's me we should blame.__  
><em>_What happened to us__why didn't you stop me from turning out this way__  
><em>_and know that I don't hate you__and know that I don't want to fight you__  
><em>_and know that I'll always love you__but right now I just don't..."_

* * *

><p>1: Erm. Yeah sorry I like smoking characters, 'cause they can't die unless I decide they do. So Yama's a smoker. At least for now. Who knows maybe Taichi will make him quit.<p>

2: I read somewhere that Yamato knows martial arts. Whether or not it's true I suppose it doesn't matter. This is AU anyway, and no he didn't take out the entire team. He more or less got in a few good punches to one or two of them before he was tied up.

3: Wow Taichi sounds like a love sick little puppy… :D D'waaa. Too bad Yamato hates his guts and every other part of him… with good reason.

A/n: See you next chappy


	3. Diary of Jane

**Attention: Still nothing from my beta, so this is till un-betaed. I will fix this problem asap. If you notice any glaring mistakes don't hesitate to tell me. Remember, I only have me correcting them right now at 3 in the morning. I'm bound to miss a lot. **

A/n: Here I am with the third chapter of Opposites. I can't believe how fast I'm getting these out. Usually it takes me MUCH longer to even start writing a chapter. Oh well. The song in this chapter is Dairy of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. Thank you to Beauty Rani, Annikyuu, and Akira Nishikawa for reviewing the last chapter, and thanks to Supernova300, BeautyRani, Annikyuu, and Akira Nishikawa for adding either my stories to favorites/ alert lists. It makes me happy inside. Also, thanks to anyone I might have missed. My e-mail's been a little hectic right now so I may have overlooked a notification.

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon, and per usual neither Yamato nor myself own the song Dairy of Jane. It belongs to Braking Benjamin. I would be sad if they thought I took it. I love their music and wouldn't want to steal it.

* * *

><p>When Taichi awoke the next morning he knew that the day was going to be a bad one. He sullenly got dressed and began to arrange everything for his day dreading going to school. He was sure that by now the incident that had happened yesterday had spread around the entire school, along with the knowledge that Daisuke hadn't been kicked off the team. Slowly he made his way out of the house and to his car wishing the short journey to the school would be longer. As expected as soon as he exited the car he was met by a mob of angry football players. Kazi was in the lead of all of them. He marched up to Taichi and pushed him against his car. Taichi winced a bit at the pain that went through his back.<p>

"What the hell Yagami? Why is that little friend of fairies still on our team? You know the rules! He should be out." Kazi said the anger pouring off of him. Taichi's eyes darkened and he pushed back against the angry boy.

"I told you all when I became captain that you couldn't do this stuff anymore. We can get in serious trouble! Don't you understand that?"

"Oh what are you on their side now? Are you going to become a fag friend too? You can't keep that kid on this team Yagami. You know where he stands." Taichi looked around to the other members of the team. Most were nodding in agreement with Kazi. He groaned inwardly.

"No. Daisuke stays. I'm sorry but he's a damn good player. We can't just lose talent like that." Taichi said trying to push past his fellow teammates. "Now come on. It's time to practice. I expect you to all leave Daisuke alone today also. If I hear _anything_ about any of you touching him or bullying him you'll have to answer to me. I want to win championships again this year and we can't do it without him, understood?" The team nodded at him- most of them angrily- all except for Kazi.

"I can't believe you."

"Kazi, c'mon man I don't need this right now just deal, okay?"

"Whatever." The younger boy mumbled moving away from Taichi and towards the locker rooms.

Taichi sighed as he watched his team go. They were going to be hard to control after this. There was no way they were going to just get over what Daisuke and he'd just done. He was in for one long season. He started after them watching his feet as he went. He suddenly found himself thrown against the school wall. "Oww. Okay seriously what is it today with people and solid objects? It hurts to be thrown into them!" he yelled.

"Good." His attacker spat. Taichi finally looked up to find blue eyes staring back at him. "What were you trying to pull yesterday? Attacking a kid from another school?" Yamato seethed pushing Taichi against the wall again. "I mean seriously what did that kid ever do to you? And Daisuke? Were you paying him back for speaking to me? That wasn't cool Taichi. Daisuke was almost too afraid to come to school today. Is that what you wanted?"

"What? No. I didn't have anything to do with yesterday! I told my teammates we couldn't pull pranks like that anymore. It isn't my fault they didn't listen. Now let me go. I have to get to practice." Taichi said pushing back against Yamato to get away. Yamato only shoved him against the wall harder (1). "Look. I'll talk to Daisuke and try to make things right alright? It's the least I could do. I can't stop them.

"Well if that isn't noble of you. Did you set this up specifically to look like the hero? You sicken me so much sometimes!" Yamato shouted letting go of the front of Taichi's shirt.

"Oh come on. Even if I had known what they were going to do why would I pull that? You know that's just stupid." Tai said rolling his eyes at Yamato. Icy blue eyes narrowed but he backed up from Taichi more.

"Fine. But I swear I will find out who started this. If I find out you're lying to me…"

"Yamato. I know we aren't friends anymore but look at me. Do I look like I'm lying? We knew each other well enough to know. Tell me. Am I lying?"

Yamato opened his mouth to speak, but before a word could come out of his mouth a shout made him look the other way. The principal of the school was headed their way, yelling their names. They looked at each other. "What do you think he wants?" Tai asked.

"_If I had to__, __I would put myself right beside you.__So let me ask__. __Would you like that?__  
><em>_Would you like that?"_

Taichi and Yamato sat side by side in the principal's office looking at the sullen faced man. "I assume you both are aware that you're here because of the incident yesterday?" Yamato nodded and Taichi looked off in the distance out the window. The last thing he needed was a lecture about everything that had happened from this man. He wished he could just be practicing right now. "It has come to my attention that yesterday a student from a different school was dragged here and tied to the flag pole by our football team. Although you children may not have the tolerance to deal with kids who are different from you I'm afraid that the school feels very different. We will have to lay down some sort of punishment to the football team, Taichi."

That got his attention. Taichi's head shot up. "What? That's totally not fair. Why are you punishing us? It's not like all of us were in on it!"

"Mr. Yagami. I never said all of you will be punished. Mr. Motomiya and Mr. Greenwold will not be punished. They did nothing but try and stop what was going on. However; the rest of the team actively participated in this event and I'm afraid that the punishment for this will be suspension for the remainder of the year, and immediate dismissal from the varsity football team. You and your fellow teammates will be escorted off of the premises as soon as we have informed your parents."

"But you can't-

"I'm afraid I have to Mr. Yagami. You got off last time only because Mr. Ishida here refused to press charges against you. This is not the case with Mr. Ichijouji however the only way to avoid the lawsuit is this course of action. I'm truly sorry Mr. Yagami, but these are the consequences and you are old enough to face them." The principal got up to open the door for the two boys, Taichi hung his head and looked at his feet trying not to let any tears fall in front of his current company.

"If I may say something?" Yamato questioned standing up to look at the principal. The older man nodded his head in approval. "Taichi wasn't present yesterday and I know for a fact that he didn't know what the others were planning. Don't punish him too. He had no idea." Yamato said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Can you prove this?" the principal asked closing the door and moving back around the desk.

"I overhear the team talking about their plans. That's why I was at the school when I was. I wanted to help. I know Taichi wasn't there. We share the same last period and he got called away early because of his sister." Taichi looked over at Yamato in amazement. He was lying for him. Well not totally. He was actually called out of the school a few days back because Hikari had become very ill.

"Very well, Mr. Yagami, you will not be punished. You will report back to practice now to try and work the junior varsity team up to the quality of our varsity. Have a good day." And with that the two boys were ushered out of the room. Quietly they walked side by side to their lockers. Taichi didn't know what to say. He turned to face the blonde, but while he'd been contemplating his next move, Yamato had disappeared somewhere around the corner.

Taichi moved to the field trying to forget about Yamato for the time being, as he approached he watched his fellow team members vacate the field. They all glared at him but he stood his ground and pushed past them to locate his new team. Daisuke and Tevin sat in front of a bunch of very scared looking freshman. Both boys looked as if they wanted to question Taichi and ask what had happened. However he just shook his head and moved to begin practice.

"_And I don't mind__, __if you say this love is the last time__. __So now I'll ask__, __do you like that?__Do you like that? ...No"_  
>Once again Yamato found himself out on the fire escape with Taichi standing next to him. Neither had spoken yet but Yamato got the feeling that Taichi would eventually open his mouth and say something to ruin the peaceful evening. Yamato took another drag of his cigarette and waited for Taichi to speak. It didn't take long.<p>

"Why did you stand up for me today?" Taichi asked leaning back against the cool bricks of the building behind him. Yamato didn't answer instead he leaned foreward onto the metal bars of the fire escape and looked out over the glowing city. Why _had _he defended Taichi? He didn't really have a reason besides the fact he knew Taichi wasn't lying. Even with all of the anger that Yamato held at the boy he still couldn't face letting him take the blame for something that was out of his control. He knew what Taichi's parent's were like and if he would have been suspended Yamato could only imagine what Taichi's dad would say. He could still remember what it was like meeting Taichi's dad. He'd been terrified that day.

"_Dude, 'Mato so I was looking through a bunch of my old things and guess what I ran across?" Taichi said as he climbed over the fire escape to get closer to his best friend. The blonde rolled his eyes but let Taichi in through the window. _

"_Why can't you just use the door like a normal person?" Yamato asked falling onto his bed and looking up at his friend. The bouncing ball of perpetual energy never seemed to stop within Taichi. Yamato sighed and rubbed his eyes waiting for whatever stupid thing that Taichi had found. _

"_My dad's aleep. He didn't want anyone disturbing his nap so I had to sneak through my room. You aren't guessing!" Taichi scrutinized glaring at his best friend. Yamato chuckled but sat up and scratched his head in thought. _

"_I don't know, an old sandwich?" He said lamely, full expecting that to be the answer. Taichi shook his head. "Your gym socks from 5__th__ grade?" Another shake. "I don't know, your sister's camera?" _

"_Nope. I found that birthday present that I never got to give you. Come over?" He asked still bouncing on his heels. _

"_Alright, but we have to be quick. I was sleeping you know." Yamato said smiling at the triumphant look on Taichi's face. They both made their way out of Yamato's window and into Taichi's. Taichi handed the present to Yamato. _

_He carefully opened the box and extracted a necklace with a shark's tooth hanging off of it little blue and black beads were surrounding the tooth. Yamato smiled and fastened it around his neck. "This is awesome Taichi! I can't believe you got me this." Just as he put the necklace on, the door banged open causing both boys to jump. _

"_Dad." Taichi said in surprise scrambling to hide the wrappings of the present. _

"_Taichi I thought I told you to get rid of that stupid present. Only a fag would want that sort of shit." His dad said growling at his son. Taichi looked speechless and didn't know what to say. _

"_I like it." Yamato said glaring at the older man. Although he was frightened at how Taichi's dad would react, he couldn't believe that a man was actually yelling at Taichi while he was still here. _

"_You must be a fag then." His dad sneered. "I'm leaving for work. We'll talk about this when I get back Taichi." And with that the man was gone. (2)_

"_I am so- _

"_No, don't worry about it 'Chi. I have to go though. Thanks again for the necklace. I'll wear it always." _

"_Promise you won't take it off?" Taichi said smiling slightly. He was truly glad Yamato liked his gift. _

"_Promise." Yamato said disappearing out of the window. _

"Yamato?" Taichi questioned looking at the blonde. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. "Please, just answer."

Yamato pulled out the necklace absentmindedly and played with it. Taichi watched in amazement. "I guess… I don't really know why." Yamato said disappearing through his window. Taichi watched the spot that Yamato had been surprised at the necklace. Even after everything that Taichi had done, Yamato kept the necklace.

"_Something's getting in the way__. __Something's just about to break__; __I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane__. __So tell me how it should be__. __Try to find out what makes you tick__. __As I lie down,__sore and sick__Do you like that?__Do you like that?"__  
><em>

Taichi stood out on his fire escape wondering why the blonde had kept his present. The promise they had made circled his head but that couldn't be why. Yamato had said himself that they were no longer friends. So why keep a ten dollar necklace? Taichi sighed in frustration and scrubbed at his face. He was never going to figure out how Yamato worked. One minute the blonde seemed to hate him and in the next minute it was almost like the two were friends again. He sighed and made his way back into the house. There wasn't anything he could do about Yamato tonight.

The next morning found him back at the school again. He moved through the hallways as silently as he could not answering any of the questions thrown at him about his team and why they'd all been suspended. It dawnd on him for the first time how nosey this school could actually be. As he was walking with his head down, he really didn't know where he was going. He ran right into somebody. He looked up almost ready to stutter an apology when he realized who was standing in front of him.

Akira glared down at him along with the other two members of Yamato's band. He glared right back and tried to ignore the looks of wonder that surrounded the two all of the sudden. "Taichi, how wonderful to see you, over by the music hallway, again. Gee you sure are hanging out here a lot."

"I didn't realize where I was. Usually I try to avoid this place. Don't want to catch anything." Taichi said trying to make his voice as scathing as possible. However the three boys just laughed at him.

"Dude. Yamato isn't here. Why don't you just scurry along and forget that this encounter even happened." Yukata piped up from the other side of Akira.

"Look, I was just going to my locker. I'm sorry I didn't mean to come down here." Taichi said turning away to walk away from the situation before something bad happened.

"I'm sure. You've been down here an awful lot lately Yagami. I'm beginning to thin you've started playing kissy face with Yamato." Takashi said finally entering the conversation. Taichi whipped around angrily.

"I would never do that. He's a discustin-

"A discusting what? You might want to be careful. I'm quite fond of Yamato." Akira said his eyes narrowing. "We've been getting closer and I wouldn't want you to say anything you regret." The black haired boy advanced on Taichi using his hight advantage to try and phase Taichi.

"Akira." The sharp call rang out, and Akira backed off. "What are you doing? He was walking down a hallway. Leave him be." Yamato said appearing from behind Taichi. He gave the black haired boy a quick kiss before continuing. "seriously, I'm sure he didn't mean anything. Right Taichi?"

"Yamato, you know he was involve-

"He had nothing to do with yesterday. Lay off." Yamato said, shooing his friends away. Akira shot Taichi a dagger filled glare before heading off. "I'll catch up later!" Yamato called. He turned back to Taichi and smirked. "My, my, I've started a habbit of saving you. Does this make you my damsel in distress?" Yamato asked wiggiling his eyebrows.

The confusion and anger build up within Taichi. "I don't need your protection." He seethed storming away from Yamato.  
><em>"There's a fine line between love and hate<em>_. __And I don't mind__just let me say that I like that__  
><em>_I like that Something's getting in the way__, __something's just about to break__I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane"__  
><em>

Yamato watched Taichi walk away from him with a blank expression. He had no idea why that kid had to be such a jerk. Yamato sighed and shook his head. "When did he start to matter to me again anyway?" He asked no one, turning on his heels and walking off toward his friends. "We aren't friends I shouldn't be trying to run interference with him and everyone else. I have got to get focused again. It's not like I fit anywhere in his life."

"Talking to yourself again Yami?" Tevin asked appearing from around the corner. "You know that's the first sign of insanity."

"Yeah, and the second is answering myself. I just don't understand why I have this sudden urge to help out Taichi. I just-

"Well isn't it obvious? You _like _him. That's why." Tevin said noting in mild amusement how fast Yamato whipped around and growled at him.

"I do _not_ like him. He's arrogant, conceded, stuck up, and a jerk. I've hated him for a long time. Don't ever say that!" Yamato said trying to get his best glare to work on the multi colored hair boy. Tevin remained unphased by his actions.

"Well if you don't like him, then why are you still wearing his necklace? Not to mention acting as the buffer for him?" Tevin asked smirking in triumph. "It seems to me like you like him.

"You don't understand Tevin. Neither of us have a place in the others life anymore. Taichi and I gave up on that path a long time ago. There isn't a place we can find mutually to be all our own. Taichi and I can't be friends. Ever." Yamato said turning away from the boy again and walking briskly down the hall.

"I wasn't talking about being friends!" Tevin called after him. Yamato turned sharply around but kept moving away.

"There are still two problems with what you're suggesting." He said, then turned back around and disappeared out onto the court yard.

"He's not gay, and you hate him." Tevin mumbled to himself, standing in the middle of the hallway. "The only question is, how to fix those problems?" (3)

"_As I burn another page, As I look the other way. I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane  
>So tell me how it should be Desperate, I will crawl waiting for so long. No love, there is no love<br>Die for anyone what have I become… Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break. I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane As I burn another page. As I look the other way. I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane"_

* * *

><p>1: Haha. Yamato is stronger. Bet that makes Taichi feel just awesome.<p>

2: Not abusive if anyone is leaning down that path. Taichi's dad's just kind of a jerk.

3: Well… that should turn out to be fun.

A/n: Well that's it for now. Exciting news. I got into Pottermore early. I'm so excited! Anywho see you next chapter.


	4. Numb

**Really Important. Please read!: As of now I still have no contact with my beta and do not know what is going to happen with that situation. I am looking for a replacement 'cause I like my stories to be nice and correct. If you would like to help me out, send me a message. Also, I have important things to add in the A/N at the end of this chapter. PLEASE READ IT! **

A/n: Here we are with chapter 4. Lyrics are from the Song _Numb_ by one of my favorite bands LiNkiN Park. Anyhoo that's it for now so without anything else here's the disclaimer. Thank you to Akira Nishikawa and Taito Fan for reviewing. Also thanks to everyone who added me to favorites, or my stories. I would usually thank you individually but I mistakenly thought that they were e-mails from the last chapter and deleted them. I'm not sure anymore who added me when, so just a big all around thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Neither Yamato nor I own the lyrics to Numb. I only own Yamato's band, Tevin, and the plot to this story thus far.

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. I don't know what you're expecting of me, Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes…"<em>

The rain pelting down Taichi's window didn't surprise him. It was only two weeks after the suspension of his football team and the day before had been the first game of his 'new team'. Needless to say they'd lost epically. He groaned as he sat up regretting even going to sleep last night. He knew that today was going to be a bad day before he even finished up the game yesterday. "Taichi. It's time to get up. Dad has to leave early so he needs to take us to school now." Taichi turned to look at his younger sister, he gave a half nod and she offered a small smile before disappearing back into the kitchen to finish her breakfast. The brunet sighed and forced himself out of bed.

He quickly dressed and made his way out to the breakfast table. His father and sister sat at the table silently eating. He bit the inside of his lip and slid into the chair next to his sister. "Where's mom?" He asked quietly pulling the cereal closer to him. His father only made an impatient noise before turning the page of his news paper. "Hika?" He questioned. Hikari looked up at him the smile from before faltering.

"She was called away on business this morning." She said quietly turning back to her cereal. "She won't be back for a week or so." Taichi only nodded before turning to his food. He waited for the question to come. The one his father had been dying to ask him since the previous night. He just wasn't sure when it was going to happen. Breakfast moved relatively fast after the news of his mother and before he knew it he was in the car with his father.

"Dad," He said looking to the man. "If you have to leave so early then why don't I just drive Hikari and myself to school? Wouldn't it be easier?" Taichi asked looking at the profile of his father. He saw the eyes narrow and he sighed. Here it comes.

"You know the rules Taichi. Those morning practices were supposed to help your team. The only reason you had a car was so you could get there. It became apparent last night that you team isn't that great. You lost a game Taichi (1). How do you expect to make it to college on a scholarship if you are failing at the one thing you are good at? You'll get the car back when your team starts wining."

"Yes sir." Taichi mumbled looking out the window.

"I'm not going to be home until late tonight. You and your sister can find a way home. I've left money for dinner. I expect you both to stay home."

"Yes sir." Taichi said again the bitterness sweeping through his words.

"_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow"_

Walking onto a rain drenched field didn't help the foul mood Taichi was in. It was hard enough to get these kids to run drills as is, with this weather it was nearly impossible for any of the younger players to keep their footing. After a frustrating hour and a half he let practice go early just to get away from the disaster that was his new team. He heard footsteps running up behind him. "Hey, Tai. It wasn't that bad. The freshman are really imp-

"Tevin, you are the LAST person I want to talk to. Why don't you just go get showered up?" Taichi spat storming away from the black and red haired boy. Tevin blinked before slowly making his way to the shower. Taichi knew that what he'd said was harsh and he'd regret it later but his anger was really getting the best of him. He noticed a hesitant Daisuke scoot up to his side and sent him a warning glare.

"I wasn't going to suggest anything. I just thought that maybe you needed to vent or something." Daisuke said looking away. "I've hung out with Yamato recently. I keep asking him about what he said? That he doesn't want a repeat of the past? Does that have anything to do with why you two aren't friends?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Taichi sneered he was sick of people dredging up his past and bringing the blonde into his life. Why couldn't they just find a new topic already? He was sick of everybody voicing their concern for that blonde haired fag. Even as the though crossed through his mind he could feel deep in his heart he didn't believe in what he was saying. None the less he tried to get away from Daisuke and his past. The brunet only moved to block his way however.

"No don't ignore me. You did something to Yamato. What did you do?" The question hit Taichi hard and made him stop in his tracks.

"_What did you do Taichi?" His mother yelled slapping down a printed off e-mail she'd received from his principal asking her to come in and have a meeting with him. "It says here that you _assaulted_ a boy? What were you thinking?" Taichi could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't know what to say to her that wouldn't get him in trouble. He knew that he'd done wrong but there wasn't really anything he could do to fix it. His mom waited for him to speak. _

"_I- I'm sorry." was all he choked out in between his sobs. His mom's face soften only a little before her glare returned. _

"_Sorry isn't going to make that boy feel any better. Who was it anyway?" Taichi looked away from his mother and muttered a name. She frowned and moved closer to him. "What did you say?" _

"_It was Yamato! Okay? It was only supposed to be a joke. The other guys from the football team said that it was initiation. I had to spray paint "fag" onto his stomach." Taichi growled out. His mother looked shocked before dropping the e-mail. She grabbed her son by the arm and forced him to the window. Taichi could see the blonde there and knew what was coming. _

"_You go out and apologize to that boy right now! I can't believe you would do this to someone who you used to be so close to!" _

"_But- _

"_GO!" She yelled pushing him out further. He sighed and walked out onto the fire escape. _

"_Yama- _

"Taichi?" Daisuke asked bringing his friend back to the present. Taichi looked down at the younger boy and contemplated what he was going to say. He sighed before opening his mouth to speak again.

"I did what you wouldn't." Daisuke let his mouth drop and he stood in the pouring rain watching his mentor and friend walk away into the shadowy distance.

"_I've become so numb I can't feel you there, become so tired so much more aware. I'm becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you. Can't you see that you're smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? Cause everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you," _

"So, Yaami!" Tevin said walking to catch up to the fast walking boy. "How was your night last night? Did you enjoy our festivities?" Yamato gave a sideways glance to Tevin before continuing to walk down the hallway. Tevin only sighed and kept following him. "Seriously, did you have fun? You seemed to be very distracted. I'm worried about you." Tevin put a light hand on Yamato's shoulder. The blonde jerked around.

"Look, I just haven't been having the best trip down memory lane. I don't need you to sit here and try to make me feel better. Mind your own damn business Tevin." With that the elder boy stormed away. Akira watched the scene with interest before he walked up to Tevin. The boy turned and looked at the band member.

"Is he always like that?" he asked jerking his head in the direction that Yamato had stormed off in. Akira let out a bitter laugh before ruffling Tevin's hair.

"Let's just say this kid, what you did for that purple haired boy the other day; no one ever did for him." Tevin gave Akira a questioning look but Akira shook his head. "It's not my place to say anything else. I just wish I could have gotten there sooner. I know that Yukata still feels very strongly about what happened. He wishes he could have changed everything. Maybe you should talk to him about it. I can only tell you what I've already said." And with that Akira was gone. Tevin bit his lip before going to seek out Yukata.

"Tevin. It's been a while." Yukata said opening the door to his house.

"Why is Yamato in such a pissy mood?" Tevin asked pushing his way into the house. Yukata blinked and his face darkened.

"I shouldn't tell you, but I suppose you'll have to know eventually. Sit down."

"_Hey, Yukata?" Yamato asked stopping, the two boys had been walking around town all day just chilling out while they waited for Akira to get back from his trip. Yamato's white haired counterpart stopped and turned to face him. They were on the outskirts of the football stands at the local high school. Yamato bit his lip and looked down before continuing on. "You're gay right?" _

"_I hope so, otherwise all those boys I kissed will be in vein. Why what's up?" Yukata asked putting his hands behind his head. Yamato looked away and a blush colored his face. _

"_What does it feel like?" he asked his voice quiet and barely there. Yukata let his arms drop and he took a step closer to Yamato. _

"_Which part, being gay? Or kissing another guy?" Yukata asked taking another step closer to Yamato. The blonde squeaked and backed up into the wall of the equipment shack. Yukata smirked and placed his hands on either side of Yamato's head. _

"_Uhm." Was the only sound to escape Yamato's lips before Yukata leaned the rest of the way down and kissed his prey. Yamato let out a squeak before he responded grabbing the back of Yukata's neck. Yukata's hands found their way around his waist and his tongue darted out to lick along Yamato's lips. Yamato let his mouth part and everything was lost on him and the white haired boy had his way. The contact was lost suddenly as Yukata was ripped off of him. Yamato's eyes shot open and he found himself surrounded by the football team. _

_Yukata was whimpering slightly. One of the player had his arm twisted behind his back. "Well, well, well lookie at what we have here guys. We found ourselves a pair of fairies." Yamato vaguely recognized the form of the captain before he saw red. He quickly lashed out at the player holding Yukata, knocking the jock's grip loose. He grabbed the other boy and made a run for it. Yukata was about three feet ahead of him when he was brought down by the other players. _

_Yukata tried to turn around and help the blonde but Yamato glared at him. "Run!" he said turning over to knee the jock in the stomach. "Run!" Yamato yelled again doing his best to block the others from getting Yukata. _

_The white haired boy kept running until he found himself outside of Takashi's house. He started to bang on the door. Finally a burgundy haired boy opened the door. He rubbed his bleary eyes and stared out. "Yuka?" He mumbled still trying to fully comprehend what was happening. _

"_Football." Yukata gasped out coughing and trying to catch his breath "Captain. Yama." were the next two words to leave his mouth. Takashi was fully awake by then. _

"_Wait, what? Yuka come in, rest and tell me what's happening." _

"_No time. Let's go!" Yukata said pulling Takashi out. The ginger was glad he had taken the time to dress before he'd opened the door. As they were running a car pulled up to the side of them and honked. They stopped and looked to see Akira's family driving past. _

"_Want a ride?" Akira's mom asked. They nodded and rushed into the car. "Where are we headed boys? And why the hurry?" _

"_The high school" Takashi and Yukata said simultaneously. _

"_Yama and I were hanging out waiting for you to get back 'Kira and we were ambushed by the football team. Yamato used his awesome kung fu (2) moves to get me out but he made me leave him behind. We have to help him!" The amused look dropped off of her face and she hurried to the school. _

_They found him still tied to the flag pole. His shirt was missing and 'fag' was splayed across his chest in red lettering. Bruises littered his body. Akira's mom made a soft sound of sympathy before she started to unweave the duct tape from around his hands. Akira bent down and started to remove it off of his legs. Takashi took off his hooded sweatshirt and wrapped it around Yamato to cover himself up. _

"_I'm sorry." Yukata said tears streaming down his face. Yamato looked back up at him with a blank look in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."Yukata's legs gave out and he fell next to the blonde sobbing. _

"_We have to go report this." Akira's mother said quietly. Yamato finally moved. He glared at her and shook his head. "Yamato we can't let this go unpunished." _

_"No." _

"_You can say you don't know who did it, but you need to tell the school so they can stop these sorts of things." She said firmly Yamato thought only momentarily before nodding in defeat. She pursued her lips and pulled out her phone to call the boy's father. _

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow. Every step that I take is another mistake to you Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow._

Tevin stared at Yukata with his mouth hanging open for a good two minutes before the white haired boy finally pushed it shut with his finger. "What are you so surprised at? Didn't you catch on when Yamato said 'repeats'?" Tevin could only shake his head

"N-no, I just assumed. Oh god. Poor Yamato. Do you- do you know who spray painted him?" Yukata hesitated at this. "Please, tell me."

"It was Taichi."

Taichi looked at the blonde out on the fire escape. He sighed and paced his room again. He wanted to go out and watch the sunset – he and Yamato used to do it at least once a week when they were speaking and he still tried to do it every now and again- the only problem was Yamato had the same idea and was currently sitting out there cigarette in hand watching the sinking orb. Taichi finally mustered up the courage and went to sit on his side of the house.

"It's still as pretty." Yamato said after a few moments.

"What?"

"The sun. Even after all of that rain and bad weather, the moment the clouds clear, the sunset is still as pretty as it was so long ago when I last saw it." Yamato explained gesturing to the glowing landscape. "It makes you wonder if everything works that way."

"Yeah." Taichi said looking over the world with his former best friend. "You know that I really am sorry about everything that I did to you. I get it now."

"_I've become so numb I can't feel you there. Become so tired so much more aware. I'm becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you."_

"Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it. (3)" Yamato stated finishing off his cigarette and throwing the butt into the ashtray next to his arm. Taichi sighed and let his head fall back against the wall.

"When did you get to be so numb? Don't you feel anything? I'm trying to be sincere and you're shooting me down. You don't have to accept my apology but you could at least acknowledge my effort!" Taichi burst out. Yamato shot him a curious look before he began to sing;

"And I know I may end up failing too. But I know you were just like me, with someone disappointed in you." Yamato got up and slid back through his window shutting it tight. Taichi turned back to the window to stare out at the setting sun. Numb. That's what he'd said. That's what Yamato had thrown back into his face. The only question was why? Taichi heard the door slam behind him. His father called out to him.

He sighed and turned away from the final moments of the setting sun. He slid into his room much like Yamato and went to face his father. The feeling from earlier in the day filled his senses. There was nothing he wanted to do less then go talk to his dad.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there _

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

_"_So then, did you and Yamato like- together then after all of what happened to you?" Tevin questioned looking up at Yukata. Yukata smiled and shook his head.

"No, I was the last real crush Yama had. We tried to date after- after what happened but Yamato was too freaked out. He's sworn off of men until he's out of this town. He doesn't want to admit to liking guys and getting that treatment over again." Yukata played with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. "The sad thing is I'm still attracted to him. He'll never go for me again though. He has his eyes set on someone else."

"Who... Akira? I saw them kiss the other day." Yukata laughed loudly letting the salt splay all over the table.

"That's for show. He only does that in front of people that he wants to freak out. They can't do anything to him at school so he knows he can get away with it. No, he likes someone else. Although he'll never admit it."

Tevin smirked "I think I know what you mean.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there _

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be._

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><p>1: I would like to inform everyone that when I wrote this line- I lost the game. Haha. Now you all have too.<p>

2: Ah ha ha. "Awesome kung fu moves" I love Yukata.

3: Random quote that I googled. No author that I know of.

A/n: Important information! Firstly: Sorry for the slow update. I was about half way through this chapter when I realized that I had three days until I left for Uni and wasn't even close to being packed. I had to put this on the back burner until everything settled down. B: I have a deviantart account now. Here I will post character summaries, ideas for upcoming stories, and random non-fanfiction works. Check it out. My address thingy is as follows: arkara - rosewood . deviantart . com/ I hope it goes without saying remove the spaces. Fourthly: I got into Pottermore! Early access baby! I was sorted into Slytherin my wand is dogwood 10 3/4th inches and is slightly springy. For anyone else with early access, or who joins later my username is Vinespell6. Look me up and add me. Thirdly: Updates will be slower. I will try my hardest to get two chapters out a month but last year my writing went down to the speed of a snail. That's all for now. Please Read and Review, I like to hear your guys and what you think of my work.


	5. Paralyzer

Warning! Still not beta'd. I don't know what happened but my beta is officially MIA. If anyone would like to step up and make my stories nice and correct I would love to have a new beta.

A/n: This chapter is dedicated to a side plot that is going to be happening along with Taichi and Yamato's whole story. Sadly most of this chapter isn't going to focus on them. I promise they'll still pop in from time to time but different characters have taken the chapter's main spot, some from chapters previous and some who haven't been here a lot. Anyway this chapter's song is Paralyzer by Finger Eleven. Like the first song, I cut out some of the parts because they were repetitive or I didn't need them. Thank you to Akira Nishikawa for reviewing last chapter. Also thanks to everyone who added me or this story to their favorites or alert list!

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon, or their characters. I do own: Yamato's band, Tevin, and the plot thus far. Per usual neither Yamato, nor myself own the song Paralyzer. It's strictly Finger Eleven's.

Warning! This chapter contains mentions of underage drinking and sex. Be warned. More of the former then the latter but it's implied. If this bother's you then I don't recommend reading this chapter.

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><p>"<em>I hold on so nervously. To me and my drink, I wish it was cooling me. But so far, has not been good. It's been shitty!"<em>

"Good luck you guys! Let's go out and blow this crowd away!" The enthusiasm in Yamato's voice was more than Yukata could handle at the moment. He wasn't looking forward to this concert and he couldn't wait to get it over with. They were ending with one of their newer songs and his nerves were getting the better of him.

"C'mon Yuka! Let's get excited. You know we'll nail this concert! We're ready. Turn that frown around!" Yukata gave the other boy a smile. Takashi tucked a strand of his red hair behind his ear and smiled as Yukata messed up his own dyed white hair. Tonight was going to be a long night. He and Takashi had dated for a bit but Takashi had broken it off suddenly claiming they were too close of friends. Yukata always assumed it was really because of his supposed harbored feelings for Yamato. Not to mention Takashi was with a different 'significant' other every few minutes. Boy or girl he didn't specify ever. Yukata shook himself out of his thoughts as he ran out onto stage. He had to focus.

Hours later he found himself amount a mass amount of people weaving in and out of the crowd holding a drink someone had shoved to him when he'd first entered the building. He wasn't sure why he had come tonight. It was safe to assume that it had something to do with Takashi. He found that no matter how hard he tried there was no way to say no to that boy. He sighed and downed whatever was in his glass. It burned down his throat, but that was kind of the point of after parties. You weren't supposed to make good decisions. He'd been wandering around for an hour by himself. He really didn't know what he wanted to do. It wasn't like he had much choice in the matter. He couldn't leave. Takashi was his ride home. The white haired boy had disappeared on him the moment that he had entered the house. He found another bar and grabbed a shot of a dark brown liquid. He downed it in one go and moved on again. He was beginning to feel the buzz.

After almost another ten minutes he wandered across Yamato sitting in a dark corner by himself. He plopped down in the chair next to him. The blonde gave him a wave of greeting and a surprised look. "I didn't think you were coming tonight." He said over the music blaring through the speakers. Yukata just shrugged and Yamato gave him a grin. "Takashi made you didn't he?"

Yukata had to laugh at that. It always happened like that. "Yeah, I don't even know when we had the conversation. I remember the end of the concert and suddenly I was here." Yamato let out a laugh at that and Yukata mocked a glare at him. "What are you doing here? I thought you hated parties and avoided them at all cost?" he asked scooting closer to the blonde. It was really a subconscious thing. Although he still had lingering feelings, the majority of his love went somewhere that would never fully accept his love. Yamato gave him a soft smile before answering.

"My brother is staying with my father and me until my mother gets back from some journalist thing. He decided tonight would be the night to invite half of the football team over. I triple locked my room before I left home and don't plan on going back until after school tomorrow.." Yukata just nodded. It wasn't the first time that the football team had been in Yamato's house. He was actually surprised that they didn't do anything to Yamato's stuff. Although he supposed Hirokai (1) and Takeru were there to stop them. The conversation seemed to die out between the two and Yukata just stared into space. He finally locked eyes with Takashi who only smiled at him and winked while grinding on some poor girl.

He kept his eyes on the other boy as he danced and sighed. "Why don't you just tell him you want to try again?" Yamato's voice broke Yukata out of his trance and he jumped up to see Yamato staring at Takashi too. "I mean it's obvious he's trying to get your attention. Look at that. Do you remember him doing that ever before you two broke up?" Yamato asked cocking his head to one side.

"We broke up because he thinks that I'm in love with you still. He sacrificed what we had so that I could follow my "true love". Yukata said laying his head down onto the table. Yamato sighed and patted him on the shoulder.

"That sucks man." He said leaning back in his chair. Takashi had detached himself from the random girl and made his way over to the two boys without them noticing.

"What you two don't want to dance?" he asked sliding down in a seat next to Yukata, who jumped at the sound of his voice. He looked over to see Takashi's bright grey eyes watching him.

"I danced across a stage all night. I promise to dance with you next week." Yamato said from his unmoved position. He waved a dismissive hand and closed his eyes. "You two go have fun." Yukata groaned and Takashi smiled before pulling him out onto the dance floor. He hated this part. It's why he was the drummer. Before he could even protest though, he was pressed against Takashi and the two were dancing and jumping along with the rest of the crowd.

"_And I feel awkward, as I should, this club has got to be, the most pretentious thing since I thought you and me"_

After almost two hours of dancing and drinking Yukata had enough, "Come on "'Kashi. I'm tired and have to get up for school tomorrow can we leave?" He asked looking up at the burgundy haired boy. He felt rather than hear the chuckle he received as an answer before he was pulled off the dance floor.

Takashi pulled out his phone and rang his mom having a low conversation with her. Yukata waited outside by the doors for him to finish. "She'll be here in about ten minutes." Takashi said wrapping his hands around Yukata's middle. Before he knew what was happening warm lips attacked his neck.

Yukata attempted to push the other boy off of him, but to no use. He was attached. Yukata gave a frustrated growl that turned into a moan at the end. It felt so good, but he knew where this was going to lead, and he hated being there. "Yu-ka-ta why don't you come home with me tonight? My mom is going to head out to work right after she drops us off and I can bring you to school tomorrow." The growl in Takashi's voice made Yukata shudder. He let out a soft groan and knew that he had lost again.

"_Well I am imagining, a dark lit place, or your place or my place"_

Yukata woke up the next morning in an unusually familiar bed wrapped in a pair of arms. He groaned and put a hand to his head. "Damn it" he said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He hated this part of his and Takashi's relationship. Every time this happened he felt like crap the next day and Takashi would beat around the bush, and then once they reached the school drop the subject and pretend like the last night never happened. This is why he hated going out after concerts. It never failed to happen.

He didn't wait for Takashi to awaken like he usually did. Instead he crawled out from under the other boy and went to the bathroom to take a shower, after which he dressed and made his way out into the living room. He flipped on the television just as Takashi's mother walked through the door. "Ah, Yukata I see you did stay last night. Good, you were far to gone to be walking home that late at night." She said sitting next to him and pushing ibuprofen into his hands. He smiled gratefully and swallowed them with the water he'd grabbed earlier.

She returned his smile and went to wake her son. About a half an hour later Takashi emerged from his room to find Yukata sitting on the couch. "Yuka-

"Let's not even try this time Takashi. Forget it. I don't care. C'mon we're going to be late for class." Yukata said standing up and not looking at Takashi. He had his hand on the door handle before he felt Takashi's hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and grabbed his messenger's bag as he opened the door. Takashi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before following after his friend. The entire ride to school was silent.

_Well I'm not paralyzed but, I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move, because you're standing still. If your body matches, what your eyes can do. You'll probably move right through me on my way to you.."_

Once they actually entered the school Yukata stormed right past Yamato and Akira leaving a hurt looking Takashi in his wake. "He wouldn't even look at me this time." He mumbled fiddling with the strap on his bag. "Why do I keep doing this crap?" He asked looking up at his friends.

"Well, getting drunk probably doesn't help" Yamato deadpanned, Takashi only glared at him and pushed past him. "OH!" Yamato yelled after him "Also, admitting that you like him as much as he likes you would help!" He laughed as Takashi flipped him off but kept walking. "What? I'm helping! Taka. Taka come back, I'm sorry?" Akira just rolled his eyes and waited for the blonde to sober up. "So, they screwed again I take it" Yamato said finally turning back to his last band member.

"Yeah, when do you think they'll give up this friends with benefits crap and go back to dating?" Akira asked training his eyes on Yamato. The blue eyed boy shrugged.

"Probably the same day that Taichi gets down on his knees, apologizes for being a jerk, and proclaims his love for me?" Yamato asked smirking up at his friend. Akira let out a laugh.

"Oh so the same day that pigs fly then?" He asked clasping his hands behind his back. Yamato shot him a smirk.

"Exactly." He answerd moving off to class.

_I hold out for one more drink, before I think. I'm looking too desperately but so far has not been fun, I should just stay home. If one thing really means one, this club will hopefully, be closed in three weeks. That would be cool with me well I'm still imagining a dark lit place or your place or my place" _

"Will you just stop and let me talk to you?" Takashi yelled. He'd finally caught up with Yukata and so far the white haired boy had avoided every conversation starter that he had tried to use. Yukata decided this would be a time to take a leaf out of Yamato's book and stopped in his tracks. As expected Takashi walked into him with an 'oof'. He smirked in satisfaction before returning his face to a frown and looking back at his band mate.

"Okay seriously, there's no reason to do that. I wanted to apologize." Takashi said moodily rubbing his nose. Yukata just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Apologize for sleeping with me again, regretting it in the morning, or ignoring both of our feelings? You should specify." He snapped. He wasn't sure why but his anger had intensified from this morning and he didn't want to deal with this anymore. Takashi let his mouth open and close a few times trying to think of something to respond with. "That's what I thought. You don't know. You can't keep pulling crap like this 'Kashi it isn't fair to either of us and we'll both just end up getting hurt in the end. Can't you see that?"

"I can, but I don't know it just seems like such a good idea at the time, and I never regret any time I spend with you Yuka. I'm sorry about last night, but you have to give me credit for trying here. It's not like it's an easy situation."

"What isn't easy about it? I like you, you like me. The logical thing to do is try a relationship, but you're so stubborn headed you can't even comprehend that's what I want. You are so afraid of committing to me that you make up some bullcrap about me running away with Yamato." Yukata said his eyes narrowing. He wasn't sure where all this pent up anger was coming from but he was happier that it was coming out now. Takashi just stared at him with his mouth wide open.

"_Well, I'm not paralyzed but, I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move because you're standing still. If your body matches what your eyes can do. You'll probably move right through me on my way to you"_

"It isn't that simple. You just keep ignoring the fact that you still fawn over him. I'm sorry that I don't want to be the person in between that. This isn't about me having a fear of committing it's about you running away the first time Yamato so much as even blinks in your direction!" Takashi slapped a hand over his mouth when he said that. He hadn't meant it like it had come out. "Yuka- I- I'm…

"Forget it." Yukata said pushing past him.

_You'll probably move right through, me on my way to you_

_You'll probably move right through me on my way to you_

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><p>1: Uhm. I don't know if I've used Yama's dad's name yet. At any rate. This is it. Tell me if I just randomly changed it and I'll correct it.<p>

A/n: Aww… love just isn't working for anyone is it? Tsk well hopefully our boys will have better luck next chapter. I promise that everyone will be back next chapter and maybe someone new! Probably not though. Don't forget to Read and Review. Reviewing makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.


	6. Self Esteem

A/n: Oh, my, applesauce. I am so sorry about this late of an update. School got crazy. I mean just _insane_. I'm hoping next semester will be better though. Ah ha ha. Anyway I should mention Sora's going to be a bitch again. I feel bad. She's one of my favorite characters and I keep making her so mean. I promise in my next story she's going to be a nice person. Anywho, a big thanks to dreamscomtrue410, Miss. Yuki Blossom, Megami-Leina-VampTigressDemon, Elegon, and Akira Nishikawa for your reviews, favorite author/story, or alert list additions! They make me very happy.

Disclaimer: I don't and unfortunately never will own Digimon.

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><p>"<em>I wrote her off for the tenth time today<em>_, __and practice all the things I would say__, __but she came over__- __I lost my nerve.__I took her back and made her deserve."__  
><em>

"Taichi, we should have a date tonight." Taichi looked up to see his girlfriend plop down next to him. He gave a noncommittal grunt. Sora always managed to blow off their date for something else and he was sick of waiting up for her to come. She pouted and draped herself across his lap. "Oh come one. We could have. Oh. So. Much. Fun." She said letting her fingers crawl up his chest. He sighed.

"Whatever." Taichi responded. Sora huffed and stood up from his lap and stormed away. He watched her with a blank stare as she almost ran over some poor freshman on her way to skulk about his nonresponsive attitude. He was sure he'd hear about it later but at the moment he couldn't care less. He wasn't really sure but over the last few weeks he had started to notice how incredibly slutty and annoying his girlfriend was. _It's because of what Yamato said._ A voice said in the back of his mind. He frowned; a while back Yamato had said that his girlfriend would open up for almost anyone at a party. Ever since that moment he had been looking at Sora in a different light. He groaned and rubbed his face. The last thing he needed was to start listening to a fag like Yamato.

At that thought he stood leaving the lunch room to go and do some laps. Maybe the mindless workout would get the two of them off of his mind. Once he was out there though he couldn't help but remember back to when he first met Sora. He had liked her so much back then and it seemed impossible that he would have started to slowly hate her over time.

"_Isn't he dreamy?" Taichi's ears perked up at the girly voice. He didn't recognize the voice and he was pretty sure that he knew everyone at this school. Well almost everyone. It was his freshman year, and he had made it a point to try and get more friends ever since the- thing with Yamato had happened. He rounded the corner and saw one of the prettiest girls. She was peeking through the window of the music room with another ninth grader. "His blonde hair is so—different." The fiery red head said. Her friend giggled. _

"_Taichi!" He turned at the sound of his name. "What are you doing down here in the faggitory?" His friend Jetsu came running up to him. The girls turned to stare at them. Taichi smirked at his friend. _

"_I got lost and was attracted by the beauty of these two fine girls." He answered. Jetsu smiled and high fived them, the fiery redhead blushed but the other girl glared at the pair of them. _

"_What did you just call this hallway?" She asked her voice was low and dangerous her honey brunette hair was hanging in her face giving her a darker look. Taichi just smiled again and went over to the redheaded girl. _

"_You are very lovely did you know that?" He asked his voice sickly sweet. "Can I ask your name.?" _

"_Sora" She said simply, smiling at Taichi. "You are quite the charmer." _

"_Hey!" the girl from Taichi's left yelled. The other three occupants of the hallway stared at her. "I asked you what you called this place." She seethed. Apparently she didn't like being ignored. The door to the music room clicked open and out came Yamato and his friends. Taichi grimaced. Jetsu on the other hand smiled and waved at Yamato. _

"_We called it the faggitory. After all it's where all of the schools resident homo's hang out." Jetsu spat, Sora and Taichi let out a laugh, but the other girl moved in front of Jetsu and gave him the most intimidating look any girl her size could give. Yamato rolled his eyes and turned to leave, his friends close behind him. _

"_That is the worst thing I have heard in a long time. How could you be such a jerk. You prance around this school acting like you own the place just because you can kick a ball. What gives you the right to come over here and start to make fun of these kids? What did they ever do to you? Why don't you just turn around and walk away before I find a sharp object. Don't you have any respect?" Jetsu backed up as the girl took a step closer to him. Yamato stopped walking when she had started talking and he was now facing her with his mouth open. Their group of friends didn't get defended all that much. _

_Jetsu looked over at Taichi. "I'm out man. I'll see you later." He said backing away from the angry young girl and rolling his eyes. Taichi watched him leave before turning back to the redhead. _

"_So, Sora are you doing anything tonight?" I asked her, hoping to score a date. She didn't seem to be as offended by what I had said. She put a finger to her lip and tapped it. _

"_Sure" _

"_Sor, you said that we'd go shopping." The girl other girl said. _

"_Mimi, he's a football player. We can go shopping some other time" Sora whined. Yamato snorted behind her. Taichi looked up, he had forgotten they were all standing around. "Why don't you fags get lost?" Sora said turning on Yamato after he snorted. His eyes glazed over and he gave her a bored expression and yawned before turning away from him to start a conversation with Takashi. _

"_I realize that you're new to this school red pepper, but this is our area. If you are going to go to school here, you'll learn quickly that you should be on the other end of the school. Where all of the sluts and jocks hang out." Akira deadpanned glaring down at the redhead in front of him. Mimi let out a snort at the comment. _

"_Mimi!" Sora yelled, glaring at her friend. "What are you laughing at?" _

"_Well, he's a football player. So that would make you a slut." Mimi replied crossing her arms over her chest. Sora glared at her friend. _

"_What the hell Meems?" She asked the anger clearly pronounced in her voice. She had her fists balled and her feet set apart. Taichi was impressed by how intimidating she actually looked. _

"_I told you, these boys don't deserve the way they're being treated." Mimi said marching over to stand in front of Yamato and the band. "They are people too. You can't just go around insulting the people you don't like because they are different from you. You'll never know what sort of person you'll be missing gout on if you do something like that." She said folding her hands across her chest and frowning at her friend. "When I met you I thought you were a better person than this. What gives?" _

"_Apparently I miss judged you too. Come on Taichi; let's get away from these losers." Sora said Taichi jumped at the sound of his voice as he was dragged away from the scene. He turned back to see Yamato roll his eyes in mild annoyance before turning to the brunette who had defended him. _

At the time Sora had seemed so cool, with her instant dislike for Yamato and his band Taichi had thought he had found the girl of his dreams. Looking back now Taichi realized that she really was a slut. He knew for a fact that she was cheating on him with at least Jetsu, but He couldn't actually prove anything. Besides Sora was still _hot_ and arm candy was good.

_Now I know I'm being used__, __that's okay man 'cause I like the abuse__. __I know she's playing with me__; __that's okay 'cause I got no self esteem. We make plans to go out at night_, _I wait till 2 then I turn out the light_. _All this rejection's got me so low_. _If she keeps it up I just might tell her so_.

Taichi checked the time on his phone again and sighed as the black digital number clicked over to 1:30 am. He growled and threw his phone in the direction of his pile of clothes. He was sick of waiting for Sora to text. Taichi had apologized after school for his aloofness at lunch and Sora had promised to come over and hang out with him. So much for that, he sighed and got out of his bed. He snuck over to the window and opened it silently before slipping out into the cool night air. "Sora ditch you again?" Taichi nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice he whipped around to find Yamato leaning against the brick wall. Taichi glared.

"It isn't any of your business."

"I don't know why you date her. She's never been nice to you. She cheats on you left and right. Yukata told me he caught her banging Yudai in the closet yesterday while you were in detention. I mean, even you have to figure out that there is something wrong there Taichi." Yamato let out a puff of smoke and waited patiently for Taichi's inevitable angry response. He was surprised. Taichi just sighed and turned away from him.

"Sora. She just loves different." He said, even as he said the words he didn't believe them. He just wanted some excuse to make himself feel better. "I know that she really does like me. It's juts, there are so many other options… and well… we haven't… I mean she has to get it from somewhere." He said even though he was facing away from Yamato he could feel his face burn. He hated admitting that he and Sora hadn't actually slept together. "Why am I telling you this?" He mused suddenly turning around to face Yamato.

"Don't know. Better question is why am I interested? I guess old habits die hard ne?" Yamato said pulling out another cigarette from its packaging. He placed it in between his lips and lit it quickly. "You haven't slept with her? Wow. Good for you, she's such a little slut I didn't think anyone could resister her charm- well. Present company excluded." Taichi laughed as Yamato raised his hand. "And my band I suppose. Anyway, you shouldn't get all embarrassed about not sleeping with her Taichi. I wish I would have waited until I was at least dating someone."

"Wait… _you_ had a one night stand?" Taichi gapped at his former best friend. Yamato blew out more smoke.

"Mmhmm, Takashi can be quite persuasive when you're smashed."

"Takashi- he's the purple haired one right? I thought him and the white haired one- Yukata- were dating, and for that matter I thought you were dating Akira?"

"Takashi and Yukata? Nah, they should be but they prefer to just be fuck buddies, who constantly get into fights like a real couple, and Akira and me? What gave you that idea? We're just friends. I'm not dating anyone until I'm long gone from this place."

"Oh"

"Yeah, welcome to the screwed up lives of rock stars." Yamato finished his second cigarette and threw the bud into a bin next to him. He pulled out another one and lit up. "You're football team seems to still be doing alright despite you losing most of your good players." Yamato said easily after a few minutes of silence. "Did your dad give back your car yet?"

"No, you know you should really quit smoking, it's bad for your health." Taichi commented waving the blue putrid smoke away from him. Yamato blinked.

"Really? I honestly thought that they were good for me. Man, did the packaging mislead me." The sarcastic bite wasn't lost on Taichi.

"Whatever. Die then. See if I care."

"You wouldn't." Yamato said seriously.

"I would care if you died Yamato." Taichi said quietly, he was almost hurt that the blonde thought otherwise. The more he thought, he realized he hadn't done much to prove to Yamato that he was still who he used to be. He wasn't even sure himself if he was who he used to be.

"Uh huh."

"What about your dad? Hasn't he tried to stop you from that nasty habit?"

"Why would he? Firstly, you know his hours he's never here. Secondly, he doesn't care what I do as long as I do well in school. Thirdly, he doesn't know and if you tell him I'll kill you. He doesn't need anything else to worry about right now." They drifted off onto other topics after that, Yamato only pulled out a few more cigarettes during their conversation. Finally Yamato pulled out his phone and checked the time. "Huh, it's three. We've been talking for nearly two hours. I smoke less when you are out here." Yamato observed looking over to Taichi.

"Three? Really? Ah man, I'm going to be so tired tomorrow!"

Yamato laughed before throwing out his last cigarette. "Well, I'm going to go and try to get some sleep. Have fun Taichi." He made his way back toward the window and slid through it easily.

"Wait, come back!" Taichi said Yamato poked his blonde head back through the window and leaned on the frame.

"Yes?"

"Why did you talk to me tonight?" Taichi asked. "Last time I suggested we be civil out here you threw it back in my face."

"Sometimes Taichi, people just need to talk to someone."

_When she's saying that she wants only me_, _then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends_. _When she's saying that I'm like a disease__, then_ _I wonder how much more I can spend_. _Well I guess I should stick up for myself,__but I really think it's better this way. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care__. __Right? Yeah yeah yeah_

Taichi couldn't believe he actually expected anything to be different between Yamato and him the next day. When he'd arrived at school the blonde had blown past him like the conversation had never happened. In retrospect he probably should have seen it coming. Why would Yamato suddenly want to be his friend again? He sighed and slammed his locker shut. He was sick of this constant worrying about Yamato crap. Hadn't he decided to go back to pretending that Yamato didn't exist?

He growled and turned around to come face to face with Sora. In her defense she looked truthfully upset. "Tai, I am so sorry I didn't call or text last night. My dad found all of my alcohol last night. I had to explain where it all came from. He took my phone after that. I'm sorry baby."

"Whatever Sor, I can't deal with this right now. I'll talk to you later okay?" He pushed past her and made his way to his first hour class.

"Don't blow me off Taichi!" she yelled from behind him. "Stop being such a fag!" Taichi turned back around slowly; his eyes were hard and angry. Sora took a step back as he advanced on her.

"What did you say?" He asked her, his voice deadly soft. Her eyes hardened.

"You heard me. You've been running around the school acting like a whimp. Drop the faggy act and return to normal. I know that you never punished Daisuke or that Tevin kid for screwing with the flag pole prank. You're going soft on us." She said folding her arms across her chest. Taichi took another step toward her and grit his teeth. "Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if you just turned around and joined the Ice Princesses band."

"Why don't you back off Sora," Taichi turned again to see Tevin standing behind him. "We all know you were banging Yudai again last night, you have no right to call Taichi any names you slut. Run along." Tevin grabbed Taichi's arm and yanked him away from the now fuming girl. "Sorry, that fight looked like it was getting nasty and I figured you wouldn't want to have it in the middle of the hallway."

"Yeah, thanks Tevin."

"Tevin!" Both boys spun to see Yamato hurrying over to them. "Tevin I wanted to know if you were still coming over this week- Oh. Taichi. Sorry, I didn't realize you were there. Never mind I'm sure you two were talking about important stuff." Yamato said eyeing Sora from behind Taichi. "I'll ask you later."

"Nah, it's cool. Hey, Why doesn't Taichi come to your get together Yami?" Tevin piped up smiling broadly at the two. "He recently realized that he was dating the world's biggest slut and needs some cheering up!" Yamato raised a single eyebrow before looking behind Taichi again to see Sora's reaction. He almost let out a laugh when he saw how livid she was. He turned back toward Tevin and frowned. Taichi looked absolutely frightened at coming over to his house.

"Tevin I don't think-" Yamato and Taichi started at the same time. Tevin cut them off with a wave of his hand.

"Nonsense. Tai, you'll come to the party or I'll quit the football team. Yami, you'll let him come or I'll sabotage you're next concert. Now that that's all settled it's time for me to go do something else. Ta boys!" and with that the multicolored hair boy was gone. Taichi just blinked.

"He's quite a handful isn't he?" he commented lightly smiling and looking at Yamato. The blonde just scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Well fine be a dick. When does this party that I'm now forced to come to start?" Yamato gave him a blank stare before walking away without answering. "Fine! I'll ask Daisuke then!" Yamato didn't hesitate or look back, he just kept moving toward the music hallway.

_Now I'll relate this little bit__, __that happens more than I'd like to admit__. __Late at night she knocks on my door__, __drunk again and looking to score__. __Now I know I should say no__, __but that's kind of hard when she's ready to go__. __I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb__. __I'm just a sucker with no self esteem._

"Taichi, Sora is here to see you." Taichi's father said popping his head into his room. Taichi smiled weakly at him. She was pretty much the last person in the world Tai wanted to see right now.

"Thank you." he said to him before moving past his father to see a sheepish looking Sora waiting on his doorstep. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked mildly not wanting to have the conversation he was sure they were about to have in his house. She looked slightly put out but nodded. "Well, what do you want to say to me?"

"I'm sorry I called you a fag. That was out of line. Just because you're angry with me doesn't mean I have to compare you with those people. I'm sorry." She said, he sighed at her answer. He wanted to tell her to quit calling them names, he wanted to break up with her on spot for being so mean, he wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to. He had started all of this negative talk when he'd attacked Yamato. Who was he to preach about how wrong he was?

"Yeah, okay" was all he said instead. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Great, I'm glad we aren't braking up. You are the only one I want Taichi."

"I didn't say that. Let's just be friends for a while. I- I have some issues I have to work through first and some of them are—complicated." Taichi said, he looked up. "Here I brought you back to your house. I'll see you tomorrow at school Sora." And with that he turned on his heels and walked back to his house. He wasn't sure if this was the best choice but he had made the decision and now he would live with the consequences. He knew that at least Tevin and Daisuke would be his friends after all of this hit the school.

He crawled into his bed once he got home. He looked out the window and saw smoke filtering past his window. He briefly thought about going out to see Yamato and talk to him about what just happened. It was then he remembered they weren't actually friends. For the first time in nearly three years he rolled over and chose to go to sleep instead of sitting out on the fire escape. He rolled over when he heard soft lyrics being sung.

_"_When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me, then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends." He growled and tried to ignore Yamato's signing. He didn't want to hear that song.

_When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease__, __then I wonder how much more I can spend__. __Well I guess I should stick up for myself__, __but I really think it's better this way__. __The more you suffer__, __the more it shows you really care.__Right? Yeah-eh-eh_

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><p>An: Whew. That was a hard chapter to write. Poor Taichi. Well, in a way, lucky Taichi, but he doesn't know that yet. Anyway, I should be faster with the next update. I'm on my j-term break now. No more school for a month! Yeah!


	7. Cold

A/n: Sorry guys. I meant to get this out only a few days after chapter 6 because that one took me so long. Unfortunately I changed the song for this chapter… three or four times… It was originally going to be "It Ends Tonight" by The All American Rejects. Then, I decided that "I Hate Everything About you" by Three Days Grace would be better, and shortly after that I decided to use Disturbed's "Stupify". Needless to say, I decided against that one too. You all should thank Pandora. I was listening to it and they played "Cold" by Crossfade (a band I'd never heard of up until this point). It fit really well so It changed for the last time. Thanks to Akira Nishikawa, Moonlight Hunter, and dreamscometure 410 for reviewing or adding myself, or this story to your favorites/alerts list. Also thanks to Chibi-Kaisie for adding ALTL to favorite stories. Reviews and fav/alerts make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, and per usual, neither Yamato nor I own the lyrics to "Cold" those belong to Crossfade, also Yamato is a fictional character…

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><p><em>Looking back at me I see, that I never really got it right. I never stopped to think of you.<br>_

"Will you just leave me alone Takashi!" Yamato jumped up as the door was slammed, he looked up to see and angry looking Yukata come storming into the music room. He grabbed Akira, who happened to be sitting next to him and pulled him behind a set of lockers so they were hidden by sight from the angry boy. The door opened and slammed again and Takashi joined the angry white haired boy. "I don't want to talk to you. Just stay away from me for a while."

"Yuka, will you just stop? We have to clear this up. It's been nearly two days and you won't even talk to me civilly. I just want us to go back to normal. I want what we used to have." Takashi said. Yamato hissed at his choice of words. He loved the kid, he really did, but he often wondered how he could be so stupid. The deathly silence that followed Takashi's words showed that Yukata thought roughly the same thing that Yamato did.

"What do you mean what we used to have? Our relationship? Or what happened after you broke up with me? Do you just want some fuck buddy that you can alcohol up and screw anytime you want? I can't do that anymore Takashi. I shouldn't have too. It's not fair to me and it isn't fair to you. Why can't you see that?" Yamato looked away from the two fighting teens when his phone buzzed. He pulled it out and opened the text from Akira. He shot the boy a confused look before opening the text.

_I don't think we're supposed to be listening to this. _I shot him a look that said 'no duh' before texting him back.

_What choice do we have? It's not like we planned to eat lunch in here because we knew they were going to fight! We can't come out now… they haven't talked in nearly two day! At least they're talking now._ (1) He sighed but nodded. He knew I was right. "…Wasn't ever like that Yuka." I cursed silently; I had lost what they were talking about. Stupid Akira and his texting. Yamato quickly shoved the phone back in his pocket not bothering to relock the keys. He wanted to get back into the conversation.

"Oh yeah? What was it? A fuck here and there, and in between if you got bored of seeing me you could just jump a girl whenever you felt it was appropriate? Or, hey, even another band member!"

"You told me you weren't mad about the 'Yamato and I' thing! You can't throw that back in my face now. That was _before_ we even dated. I'm sorry it happened but it did will you just get over it?" Yamato almost smacked himself in the forehead. He heard the sound of the door opening. "Yagami? What the heck are you doing here?" Takashi exclaimed suddenly, his fight with Yukata forgotten momentarily.

"Get out!" Yukata seethed, Yamato poked his head around the corner to see an angry Yukata push Taichi toward the door. "You don't belong in here we were jus-

"Don't worry, I'm not here to do anything to your precious faggitory." Taichi said moving pass the boy and looking around the music room with interest. "I'm just looking for Ishida." Yamato cocked his head at the sound of his last name. Taichi didn't use it very often even though they weren't close friends. It was weird to hear it. "A freshman told me that he'd seen him come in here about a half an hour ago."

"Yamato isn't here. Its just us-

"And we were having a _private_ fight if you don't mind" Yukata spat at Taichi. Yamato rolled his eyes at the word private. Taichi just blinked.

"Fine, whatever, just calls him and find out where he is. I only need like- a second of his time. I don't want to spend any more time in here than I have to and I know you don't want me in here either. So just find the kid." Yamato peaked around the corner to see Takashi pull out his phone. He looked to Akira briefly to figure out what he should do. Akira only shrugged before his phone started ringing.

"_I turn around and I can see what's behind me,__and I turn back around and I can see what's ahead." (2__)_Yamato jumped at the sound of his phone and scrambled to turn it off. He must have turned the volume back up when he slid it into his pocket earlier. (3) He came out of his hiding spot rubbing the back of his head and grinning sheepishly at his fellow band mates. They blinked at him.

"Yamato," Yukata said slowly, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "Were you back there the whole time?" his voice was quiet but deadly.

"Akira hid too!" Yamato yelled unsure of what else to say in this situation. He reached behind the lockers and pulled the final band member out of hiding. Red coloring slowly crept up Yukata's face. Taichi rolled his eyes clearly annoyed at the lack of attention on him.

"Gee thanks Yamato. Way to throw me under the bus." Akira scolded ripping his shirt out of Yamato's grasp. Taichi snorted. Akira turned to him, his eyes dark. "What do you want Yagami?"

"Wow, if it weren't for the pink wings and fairy dust I always imagine you with that would have _almost_ frightened me." Taichi drawled not bothering to cover up his distaste. "I came to talk to Yamato. Not you." He responded smoothly, Akira balled his hands into fists but Yamato put a hand up to stop him.

"What do you want Taichi?"

"When is this damn party?" He asked "Daisuke won't tell me. Something about needing your okay before I can come. He won't believe me that Tevin is making me come. Also, I hope this party won't be as lame as the last one we attended together." Taichi added as an afterthought. Yamato blinked and tired to remember what he was talking about.

_I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win. You are the antidote that gets me by. Something strong like a drug that gets me high._

"_I don't _want_ to go to this stupid party!" Yamato whined pulling away from his father. It was the middle of his eighth grade year. He and Taichi had been in a fight for a while now. For some unknown reason this meant nothing to Hirokai. Yamato's father busied himself with fastening Yamato's tie. Yamato growled, he was being forced to go to the stupid wedding anniversary of Taichi's parents. _

"_I don't care Yamato! Despite Taichi and you having that little spat, the Yagami's and I are still friends. They invited us and it would be impolite not to go because you're throwing a tantrum all of the sudden. Takeru and Hikari will both be there. Hang out with them." Hirokai said moving away from his son. Yamato whined again but Hirokai ignored him and tugged him by the hand out of their room and next door to the neighbor's house. Yamato quieted and shrunk to hide behind his dad as they passed Taichi's dad on the way in. He still hadn't forgotten the angry words the man had said at their last encounter. _

"_Yama!" Two young voices squealed. Yamato looked up in time to be bowled over by his younger brother and Hikari. _

"_Hey squirt. Hi 'Kari." Yamato said sitting up and ruffling his younger brother's hair. He heard a throat behind him being cleared. Taichi gave him a small wave. Yamato nodded back, frowning slightly. He remembered all of the sudden why he didn't want to be here. _

"_Hey, Yama." Taichi said, letting his hand fall to his side. The two boys hadn't talked since Taichi had proclaimed that he didn't like Yamato's new friends because of their sexuality. Yamato kept a straight face and only nodded to Taichi. He still didn't want to be here. "Oh come on. If we're going to have to be at this party you might as well make the best of it._

"_Fine." Yamato said crossing his arms over his chest. Taichi smiled at him. Their younger siblings were almost vibrating with a lack of attention on them. "Tell you what, let's go play videogames." Yamato suggested leaning down so he was closer to Takeru and Hikari. They both cheered and ran off toward Taichi and Hikari's shared room. _

"_I'm sorry." Taichi said mildly, looking anywhere but at Yamato. The blonde stiffened in surprise and turned to face Taichi. "What I said to you that day- I was being stupid. I was acting like my father. I shouldn't have ever said to you what I did." Yamato turned away from Taichi unsure of how to respond to the random apology. "I'm not saying that we have to be best friends or anything, but friends would be nice. I'm not sure I could handle life if you weren't my friend." _

"_Yeah, sure whatever," Yamato answered waving a hand over his shoulder. He wasn't sure if he wanted to believe Tai especially because it had taken him so long to come to that conclusion. "Let's just go entertain those kids 'Chi." Yamato felt a fault in his step when he realized that he'd used Taichi's old nickname. He turned back to the brunet to gauge his reaction. Taichi was smiling broadly at him. Maybe this party wouldn't be so bad after all. _

_What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am. I never meant to be so cold.  
><em>  
>"Wait, hold up. Taichi is coming to that get together? This weekend?" Akira asked disbelief stringing through his words. "You have to be kidding me. You can't let this idiot jerk into your house!"<p>

"Hey! I'm not a jerk!" Taichi protested his own hands balling into fists. Akira gave him a blank stare.

"You're right. You can't let this idiot asshole into your house!"

"Do you want to fi-

"Calm down!" Yamato snapped stepping in between the two boys. "Tevin is making Taichi come. Just leave him alone. It isn't like he's doing this on purpose back off."

"Well, why are you letting him come then? I thought you had a strict no jerk policy at your house." Takashi said finally joining the conversation. He had recovered from the shock of his other two best friends spying on him. Taichi sent him a death glare. "Sorry, idiot." He corrected ignoring the darkening features of the brunet.

"Tevin has threatened our next concert. So, unless one of you plans on buying me a new bass when mine is hurt, I suggest you get over the fact that the idio- Taichi is going to be at my house this weekend.

Akira looked ready to protest but Taichi cut him off before he got a chance to say anything else. "Well whatever when do you want me to show up?"

"Seven." Yamato said, before turning away from Taichi. Taichi scoffed and walked away not bothering to say goodbye to any of them. This weekend was going to suck.

"I can't believe he's coming." Akira mumbled rubbing his hand over his face.

"I can't believe you two spied on us!" Yukata spat. He had been the only one to stay quiet throughout the whole argument with Taichi. "I also can't believe you let Takashi get away with calling Yagami an idiot when he isn't any better!"

"Oh, here we go again!" Takashi sighed falling into a chair. Yamato shook his head and gave a sigh of relief when the lunch bell rang. He gathered up his things and took off before he heard any more of the fighting between his two friends. He rubbed his eyes as he left the music room. He needed a smoke.

Band practice that night wasn't much better. Yukata and Takashi had reached what seemed to be a stale mate and instead just spent most of the night making useless angry remarks at each other. They didn't get too much work done on their newest song, but Yamato didn't care at this point. He just wanted to go home and forget this day. Besides, eventually he was going to have to plan this little get together this weekend. Taichi was under the impression that it was some sort of party.

Yamato walked home slowly, enjoying the cigarette that was in between his lips. His father wasn't supposed to be home tonight so he was pretty sure it would be safe to smoke this before he was out on the balcony. He threw the butt in the ashtray as he entered his building and made his way up to his door. Sighing he pulled out the keys and made his way into the apartment. As expected a little note was taped to the refrigerator. He smiled. His dad had tried to draw a small puppy to apologize for not being home again. Sometimes he wondered about his father.

He opened the fridge to find… nothing. There was no food in the house. He pouted a bit before grabbing the phone and ordering out. It looked like tonight was going to be another lonely night home alone. He grabbed a jacket and made his way out to the balcony. HE pulled out another cigarette and stared off into the night sky. He knew Taichi was standing on the other side of him doing the same thing, but for now he planned on just ignoring the brunet.

"Why didn't you just ask me here last night, or tonight when the "get together" was? Why did you bother coming into the music room at all? I know you hate that place, and you know that everyone in there hates you." He asked finally dropping the butt of his cigarette and waiting for a response.

"Does everyone in there really hate me?" Taichi asked unexpectedly. Yamato blinked and turned to face his former friend.

"Akira, Yukata, and Takashi? Yeah, pretty much. I mean after three years of basic humiliating torture and all of the rumors you helped spread about them in junior high I'm pretty sure they hate you."

"Do you hate me?" Taichi asked looking at Yamato. The blonde hesitated not sure of how to answer the sudden question. How did he feel about Taichi? He hadn't thought about it in a long time. Pretty much since the day after Tai had spray painted him. He had hated Taichi then but now? "Oh, I see." Taichi responded quietly, he had taken Yamato's silence as his answer. He ducked his head through the window and disappeared into the house. A knock sounded through Yamato's apartment. His food was here. He crawled back through the window, but hesitated a second. The question was still eating at him. How did he feel about Taichi? He retrieved his food and sat down to eat. He pulled out his cigarettes and studied them. He had stolen his first pack from Akira's father when he was thirteen and he had smoked his first cigarette that night. It had been the day after Taichi spray painted him. He had done it purely to stop his hands from shaking. He had felt so betrayed that night. Did he hate Taichi though?

_To you I'm sorry about all the lies. Maybe in a different light, you could see me stand on my own again. Cause now I can see you were the antidote that got me by. Something strong like a drug that got me high._

_Yamato looked down at his stomach for the second time that day, all he could remember was the word stamped on him. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and stared out over the balcony. He really didn't know what he was doing out here. A pack of cigarettes sat next to him. He had stolen them from Akira's dad. He wasn't really sure why he had done it but now he sat out on the deck with the cigarettes next to him. He could feel the tears forming on his cheek, and he let them fall. Yesterday had been one of the worst days of his life. He couldn't remember anything else that had hurt as much—past his parents' divorce. He turned at the sound of a window opening, he quickly shoved the cigarettes into his back pocket thinking it was his dad. _

"_Yama…" Taichi said moving to come face to face with the blonde boy. "I- I just wanted to apologize for today. I shouldn't have done that." Yamato kept a straight face. He wasn't sure where Taichi was going to go with this and he didn't want to forgive the brunet prematurely. "I never meant to be so cold. You have to understand though; I- they- they would have taken me off the team. Football is my life. I couldn't survive without it! I don't know what I would do if I wasn't on the team. I don't know how I could live." _

"_You once told me that you didn't know how you could live if I wasn't your friend. Did you mean that? Or did you just say those words because you were bored and knew that I would hang out with you if you said them to me?" Yamato asked. Taichi's mouth dropped open and he gapped like a fish. _

_"Yama… I-_

"_You don't have an answer for me do you? Its apparent that you would rather choose football over me so don't bother with any formalities. We can just end our friendship here. We'll ignore each other at school. We can pretend like we've never met. That way you get to stay on your precious team and I can keep my dignity, or what's left of it anyway." _

"_N-no! Why can't I have both? I want you as a friend and I want to be on the team! Why- why can't those work out together?" _

"_You said yourself you couldn't be friends with a fag." Yamato replied spitting the word 'fag'. "How do you expect to be friends with me if you can't even accept me for who I am? Just go Taichi. Don't worry about our friendship. It didn't mean anything anyway." Taichi took a step back. He couldn't believe he was losing his best friend all over again. He sighed and hung his head. If Yamato didn't want to be his friend than he wouldn't be, it was as simple as that. He didn't need the moody blonde anyway. Taichi pushed his way back through the window and Yamato let himself sink to the ground. He pulled the pack of cigarettes back out of his pocket. His hands were shaking. He slowly pulled one of the white cylinders out and placed it between his lips before lighting it with the matches his father used for their grill. He sucked in, and let out a breath. Smoke circled out of his mouth and he could practically feel the stress leaving with it. He smiled. He had started his first cigarette. _

Yamato let out a puff of smoke as his memories faded into the black night. He could clearly remember that conversation even though it was one he wanted to forget. He was positive that Taichi had never really understood what he'd lost that night on the balcony. He wasn't sure that the brunet ever would. He fingered the necklace Taichi had given him so long ago. Did he hate Taichi?

_I never really wanted you to see, the screwed up side of me that I keep locked inside of me so deep. It always seems to get to me._

Yamato opened the door to a bored looking Taichi. "I have a message from my father." Taichi drawled pulling out a piece of paper. "Yamato, please if you insist on having over all of those friends keep your girlish squeals and secret telling to a quiet level. I have a big deal coming through and I don't need you interrupting my flow with your loud music." He read off of the sheet. Yamato rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper from the brunet and read it himself. Without some of the insults to his gender the note said basically the same thing. "So, can I come in?" Taichi asked impatiently peering over Yamato's shoulder to see Daisuke, Tevin, and the purple haired boy from before.

"Yeah whatever." Yamato replied moving out of Tai's way so he could enter the house. Daisuke smiled and waved at the elder football player.

"So, what do you guys do at these things anyway?" Taichi asked. Tevin and Daisuke looked at each other then at Yamato.

"Well, we play videogames and eat food mostly. Sometimes Yami and his band members go into the back and work on band type stuff for a while. Erm other times we just kind of chat about school and such." Tevin answered. "Right now Dais and I are in a mean game of Poker. Yami just lost. He has no poker face whatsoever."

"It's true. If you take into consideration that you kept looking at my cards," Yamato said folding his arms across his chest. "Or that Ken seems to be able to count cards like some kind of genius." He added moving around Taichi to sit back in his spot. "Oh yeah, Taichi in case you forgot, this is Ken. Ken, Taichi he was- surprisingly- the only other football member besides these two not to tie you to that pole. Congrats."

Ken blinked up at the brunet. "Uh- thanks I guess" he said, before laying down his cards. "Flush" Tevin let out a curse and Daisuke just threw his cards. Ken smiled and pulled the money in the middle toward him. "You guys should just quit while you're behind. Otherwise I'll have all of your money by the end of the night." Tevin put his hands up in defeat.

"Okay I'm done. Hey, Taichi. I'll challenge you to a game of Mario Kart Wii. Then you won't have to stand there and look so awkward." Taichi nodded and moved around the familiar house. Tevin followed him into the living room and started to hook everything up. "Dang. I'll have to get Yami. I can't figure out how to-

"Turn the input? Here there's a trick." Taichi said walking over to the television. He pressed a couple of buttons and the Wii menu popped up. Tevin gave him a look of surprise. "I- used to watch movies here a lot."

They heard the door open again and Yamato's band members joined the poker game. Before long Takashi had wandered out and sat in the chair watching Tevin and Taichi battle on the game. Taichi's drybones character took the lead after hitting Tevin's toad with a blue shell. "You're good at this." Takashi said mildly watching as the characters raced around the screen. Taichi just smirked.

"Football reflexes."

"I call winner." The burgundy hair boy said. "Or… I suppose I'll play Taichi next. It looks like you're going to lose there Tev." Takashi giggled as Tevin's Toad fell off the side of Rainbow Road again. Tevin cursed and handed his controller over to Takashi when he fell off for a second time. Taichi zoomed over the finish line and did a dance for victory. "Well played Yagami. We'll see how you do against me though."

After an hour of game play the two boys were tied. They had procured somewhat of an audience—namely Yamato, Tevin, and the rest of the band. Taichi smirked and released his last red shell knocking Takashi out of the running. "Looks like I'm going to- you did NOT just get a bullet!" Taichi whined as Takashi blew past him laughing. Taichi dropped his controller and sighed. "I can't believe I lost. Nice game Takashi." He said, "but I have to hit the bathroom."

He made his way back through the kitchen and toward the bathroom door. He wondered briefly where Daisuke and Ken had gone off to. "Taichi wai-" Yamato said as Taichi opened the door to the bathroom. He blinked at what he saw not quite processing what was happening. Daisuke was pinned against the wall of the bathroom with Ken holding his hands above his head. Taichi blinked and the two of them blinked back.

"Uh.. occupied?" Daisuke said. Taichi turned around and walked out of the apartment. _  
><em>

_I never really wanted you to go. So many things you should have known, I guess for me there's just no hope. I never meant to be so cold_

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><p>1: I'm sure some of you are wondering why this isn't in text speak… well, that's because I don't believe in text speak. I type out everything. With the best grammar I can achieve on the phone I'm using. True story.<p>

2: Lol see what I did there? ;) I couldn't help it. I was watching Digimon 02 (technically it was the English Sub, so Yamato sang a different song…) and I've always liked this song.

3: I do this all the freaking time. It scares the _crap_ out of me every time.


	8. It's Been a While

A/n: Here we are chapter 8. I can't believe I'm this far already! Thank you to dreamscometrue 410 and 3 Yaoi Lover 3 for your reviews! Also, thank you to Dark Sorcerer of Fire for adding this story to alerts. Anyway the song this chapter is "It's Been A While" by Staind.

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><p><em>It's been awhile since I could hold my head up high. And it's been awhile, since I first saw you and it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again. And it's been awhile since I could call you…<em>

Daisuke was freaking out. Yamato watched him pace around his house muttering. The situation really could be better, and personally Yamato was surprised that the cherry brunet hadn't tried to jump out of his window. Daisuke's boyfriend, Ken, sat next to Yamato worriedly watching him pace back and forth. "I don't understand," Ken said finally looking to Yamato to clear up his confusion. "I thought you said that Taichi was okay with the whole 'boyfriend' thing."

"Okay is a bit of a stretch," Tevin said from the other side of the room. "He isn't exactly- well- he's- it's not like- okay yeah, he's completely against it. He had told the football team that they couldn't pull the whole flag pole prank because it could get us in serious trouble but that doesn't mean that he's okay with it all. He's kind of in a limbo stage right now between being okay with it all and not being okay with it. I'm sure if you give him time he'll come around," Tevin finished stretching out of his sitting position. Daisuke finally stopped pacing.

"Give him time? GIVE HIM TIME? He's going to kick me off the football team! He's going to excommunicate me! I-I- people are going to hate me! I've never been hated!" Daisuke shouted he stormed over to Tevin and grabbed the collar of his shirt before shaking him back and forth. "Can you imagine me being hated?"

"Daisuke, he can't excommunicate you. It's not a religion." Ken said kindly, moving over and placing his hand gently on Daisuke's shoulder. The brunet let go of Tevin who fell backwards a little bit. "Beside's we'll all be here for you if that happens. I'm sure Yamato won't let him kick you off of the team. Right Yamato?" Ken asked turning back to the previously mentioned blue eyed boy. Yamato froze.

"Uh, I can't make any promises but I can try and talk to him." Yamato said, standing up straight. "I mean what can it hurt? He came to the party right?" he added weakly. He really didn't know what he would say to Taichi when he saw him. It wasn't like they ever got that far on this particular subject without getting into a major fight but on the other hand Yamato wasn't about to let Daisuke down.

"Don't worry Dais, if that jerk does kick you off the team you'll still have the band to hang out with." Takashi said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, great plan Takashi! He can hang out with us losers. I'm sure he'll just love that idea." Yukata said scathingly from the other side of the room. Yamato groaned, knowing that they were about to break out into a full-fledged fight again. Sure enough Takashi said some sarcastic response back and the two began to bicker. Akira rolled his eyes.

"Okay, that's it. Time out for you two, Yamato I'm borrowing your bathroom." He said grabbing his bickering friends and forcing them into the room. He grabbed a chair and placed it under the handle so they couldn't open the door.

"I guess I'll go and try to talk some sense into Taichi." Yamato mumbled walking into his room. He poked his head out in confusion. He had been sure that Taichi would have come straight out here onto the balcony. Yet the brunet wasn't here. He climbed out onto the fire escape and hopped over to the Yagami's fire escape. He peered into the room. Taichi wasn't in there but his little sister was. Yamato knocked on the window and waved at her. She walked over and opened the window.

"Ishida, Yamato. I never thought I would see you over here again. If you're looking for Taichi he's not here. He came back muttering something before he climbed up to the roof. I don't suppose you know what's wrong do you?" she asked him. Yamato shook his head.

"Not exactly, I know what upset him though, I'll explain later. First I have to go on damage control. See you later. Thanks Hikari." He said before he started to climb the stairs. Once he got to the top he climbed up onto the ledge of the railing. He was a bit worried about falling he hadn't done this in years and when he looked down he almost decided to just leave Tai up there. He shook his head and reached forward grabbing a ladder that hung down from the roof. Years ago the building stairs had started on fire and a maintenance worker had gotten stuck on the top of the roof. He hadn't been able to get down and it took rescue workers hours to realize he was up there. After that they had installed a ladder near the top fire escape in case it ever happened again.

Yamato had discovered the extra ladder when he was younger and he and Taichi had explored every inch of the roof and often times fallen asleep up there in the summer when they used to have 'camp outs'. He smiled at the memory before he continued to climb up to the top of the roof. "Hey," he said pulling out a cigarette and making his way over to the still figure of Taichi. Taichi looked up from his perch and nodded at Yamato.

"Daisuke's worried I'm going to kick him off the team." Taichi stated, Yamato lit the cigarette and placed the lighter back in his pockets. He chose not to answer waiting to see what Taichi would do now. "Tell him I don't know what I'm going to do yet." Taichi says finally. "I mean he's a good player… but he-

"Has a boyfriend? Who he obviously really likes?" Yamato cut in.

"Yeah, exactly! He can't have a boyfriend. It's not fair." Taichi said. "To the other players I mean. None of them agree with his habits, why should I allow him to be on the team? It would be no different from someone who smokes- no offence- but no one on the team would agree to have a player who might jeopardize the game somehow right?"

"None taken how would Daisuke having a boyfriend jeopardize the team?" Yamato asked, his curiosity piqued, "It isn't any different than you having a girlfriend."

"Well, others on the team might not pass to him. Or they'll exclude him. Daisuke's a good player. He doesn't deserve to be ignored if he's on the team. So he just shouldn't be on it right?"

"I can't believe you're going to let good talent go because of your stupid assumption that everyone will hate him if he has a boyfriend! Daisuke's a good player. Why do the other team members have to find out about Ken? Just because you know? Tevin's known for a while now that they were dating! Hell, they were dating when _your _team dragged Ken to our school and tied him to the flag pole. You let Dais off then so why not now?"

"Because he can't keep having it both ways! One day he'll have to choose between being a popular football player and…well… Ken!" Taichi practically screamed. Yamato sighed and sat down next to him against the ledge of the building.

"Why would he have to choose?"

"Everyone does."

"What do you mean?" Yamato asked him cocking his head to the side.

"Well, you had to choose between me and the band, and I had to choose between you and the football team. Hell even Tevin had to choose between living here and his girlfriend in America. No one gets to have everything they want. Eventually Daisuke will have to choose. He can't keep having his cake and eating it too."

"I never chose between you and the band." Yamato stated glancing over at Taichi. "I chose your friendship and the band. For a while it worked. We were friends through most of eighth grade. It was you who chose to end that friendship. Daisuke isn't having his cake and eating it too. He's having a life—you might want to think about doing the same." Yamato said standing up to leave. He dropped his spent cigarette and stomped on it. "There is no reason why we couldn't have stayed friends. You could have stood up to the football team. Daisuke did it didn't he? It isn't his fault you decided to be a dick, it's yours. Don't punish him because of mistakes that you made in the past."

"I'm sorry." Taichi whispered.

_And everything I can't remember as fucked up as it all may seem the consequences that I've rendered. I've stretched myself beyond my means and it's been awhile since I can say that I wasn't addicted. And it's been awhile since I can say I love myself as well…..  
><em>  
>"Akira let me out of the damn bathroom!" Yukata shouted. He had been yelling nonstop for the past ten minutes. Takashi sighed and leaned back against the ceramic tiling of the bathroom wall. He sighed and rolled his eyes as the angry white haired boy continued to beat against the door.<p>

"I never realized you hated me that much." Takashi said nonchalantly looking at the ceiling to keep form staring at his friend. Yukata froze mid bang and let his fist drop to his side. Yukata seemed almost frozen in his place. Takashi waited for the returning snarky comment. He was surprised when he heard a sniffle he snapped his eyes over to Yukata; he had sunk down against the back of the door and was crying. Takashi's jaw almost dropped. "Hey, don't cry." He whispered moving to sit down next to Yukata. "Seriously, I know you don't hate me. What are you crying about?"

"After all that we've been through, all the anger, all the tears, all the fighting you still can't get it through your head that I like you. You really can't see that I want a relationship. I swear sometime's your blind. I don't like Yamato anymore. I haven't for a while. Do you really think I would keep putting myself through the pain of having casual sex with you if I was only going to run off the minute Yamato decided that he was going to date again? Don't you realize that I would be sitting by my phone every night waiting for a text, or a call, from him like I do with you? Why are you so convinced that we can't work?" Yukata asked wiping the tears out of his eyes. He couldn't believe that he'd broken down crying, yet here he was on a dingy white floor crying his eyes out.

"I-I don't really know. I guess I just assumed after the last time we tried dating…" Takashi said trailing off at the end. He sighed and rubbed one of his hands across his face. Life was too hard. "I mean, I guess I just always assumed that since we tried it once it won't work a second time. It never really had anything to do with Yamato. I just figured since we broke up it wasn't worth trying again."

"Well, what do you think now? I basically just broke down in front of you do you still believe that we won't do well together?"

"I'm scared Yukata. We've both always been very close. What happens if we break up a second time and things don't go as smoothly as they did the first time?" Takashi asked letting his arm fall loosely around Yukata's waist. "We don't know where this relationship will take us. It could be the worst decision we ever made in our lives."

"It could also be the best. It's been a while since we first dated. We're both older and more comfortable with ourselves this time. I don't understand why this is such an issue. Couples break up and get back together all of the time. Why can't you just try?"

"I don't know Yuka, it's so hard to even consider losing you as a friend. I'm not su-" Takashi was cut off when Yukata tilted his head and kissed him. It had been a long time since Yukata had started anything between them and Takashi couldn't help but sit in shock for a few seconds. Yukata sat up and maneuvered himself around so that he was straddling Takashi. The burgundy haired boy finally responded and grabbed the back of Yukata's head pulling him closer to him.

_And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do. And it's been awhile, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you and everything I can't remember_

_As fucked up as it all may seem the consequences that I've rendered._

"You're sorry?" Yamato asked a bark of laughter showing his disbelief. "For what? You've apologized so many times its obvious the words don't mean anything to you."

"Daisuke got the life I wanted. All I ever wanted was for us to be best friends and for me to be a football star in the school. I just wanted every aspect of my life to fit into one neat little package with no issues. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted you to be at my side always. I really wanted football too though. I felt like I had no choice but to lose you. Don't you understand what that feels like? I looked at you every day for the longest time and couldn't do anything but cause you pain. I thought it would be easier if I started to treat you like crap. I thought I would get over this stupid—pain, I just thought—"

"Taichi, pushing me away and being a dick didn't help you in anyway. You can't just run away from your problems. That won't solve anything. You can't just ignore them either and try to strike up an old friendship by apologizing for something you can't fix. Don't lose Daisuke in the same way you lost me. You'll only regret that decision," Yamato said sitting down. He pulled Taichi down next to him. "Daisuke means more to you than you think. He's a second chance for you. Don't screw it up? Use him to change the view of the football team."

"I'm scared that I won't be able to fix this. All I've done is screw things up since ninth grade. How am I ever going to erase four years of pain and anger?" Taichi asked. Yamato stayed silent for a little bit studying the brunette's face. Taichi's eyes were lost and there was anger and confusion in his eyes.

"Taichi, you at least have to try. If you don't you'll never forgive yourself," Yamato said. Before he understood what was happening Taichi had leaned over and kissed him. Yamato backed away from him and stood up. _  
><em>

_I've gone and fucked things up again. Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away. Just one more peaceful day, and it's been awhile since I could look at myself straight and it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry…_

Yukata pushed away from Takashi slowly and wiped his mouth. The burgundy haired boy let his mouth drop in shock. "Yuka..." he breathed out.

Yukata knocked on the door again; he stood as his body shook. "Akira, please let me out." He said quietly. Takashi scooted away from the door as it opened and the white haired boy slipped out.

"How about you Takashi, are you ready to come out?" Akira asked peaking in to see the stunned boy still sitting on the floor. Takashi shook his head and rubbed his hands across his eyes. Akira only nodded and shut the door quietly. "What did you do to him?" Akira asked quietly moving away from the door.

"I kissed him." Yukata said moving back out into the living room to check on Daisuke to see if the boy had calmed down yet. Daisuke was seated on the couch with his head leaning on Ken's shoulder. He had finally calmed down. Ken was holding his hand and stroking the back of it as the two talked quietly. Yukata sat down on the coffee table in front of them. "Are you okay now?" he asked. Daisuke nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I've calmed down now. I'm going to be okay I think." Daisuke answered sitting up to fully face Yukata. "Takashi was right you know. I do have you guys even if I get kicked off of the football team. I'll always have friends as long as I stick with you guys and Ken. I would like to stay on the team but if it means giving up any of you I can't see the benefits."

_And it's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face and it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste and everything I can't remember as fucked up as it all may seem to be, I know it's me I cannot blame this on my father he did the best he could for me._

"What the hell?" Yamato yelled as he wiped his mouth repeatedly on his sleeve. "Did you- Did you just kiss me?"

"I-I think I did," Taichi said in shock. Yamato calmed down when he saw the shocked look on Taichi's face.

"Want to tell me why?" Yamato asked his teeth clenched this didn't make any sense whatsoever. He was trying not to panic for the sake of Taichi who seemed to be extremely confused.

"I-I don't know. I just. You. You were there, and then we were kissing." Taichi said. "I don't know what I did. I can't be… I- I have to leave!" Taichi finished standing up, and making his way over to the edge of the roof before climbing onto the ladder.

"Tai… wait" Yamato said softly taking a step toward him and setting a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me. What was going through your head?"

"We aren't friends. I don't have to tell you anything." Taichi said suddenly jerking away from him. "I'm – I'm just sorry." Taichi said before he disappeared down the ladder. Yamato sighed and pulled out another cigarette. _  
><em>

_And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high and it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry…_

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><p>AN: Interesting. Well, that was a fin chapter. I'll see you guys next time. It looks like everyone has things they need to think about and that kiss? That was from the left field from Taichi. I wonder why he decided to kiss Yamato. I guess you'll have to wait until next time. Read and Review guys. They make me feel happy. I like knowing you guys are reading and liking what I'm doing.


	9. Perfect World

A/n: Here I am again. This chapter's lyrics are brought to you by Simple Plan. The song is "Perfect World". Thank you to Akira Nishikawa, 3 Yaoi Lover 3, Hummel, Dark Sorcerer of Fire, and dramscometrue 410 for your reviews! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story! Also, thank you to rosannahstar, CigarettesAndSkittles, Love-girl2015, babyvicz, and Dark Sorcerer of Fire, for adding this story to your favorites list or your story/author alerts list. Also, thanks to Lil'P 101 for adding Truth to your favorite stories list.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Digimon, nor do I own the lyrics to Perfect World or any other product mentioned in this story.

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><p><em>I never could've seen this far. I never could've seen this coming, seems like my world's falling apart yeah<em>. _Why is everything so hard? I don't think I can deal with the things you said, it just won't go away…_

Yamato dropped his cigarette butt and ran a hand through his hair sighing. Yesterday he had been kissed by Taichi. The gay hating Taichi… the "if you even style your hair too much you're not my friend" Taichi. His ex best friend; the one person in the world he was supposed to hate more than anything else. That Taichi had kissed him. He touched his lips for what seemed to be the thousandth time and wondered what he was supposed to do with what had transpired the night before last. Luckily he had a full day to think about it.

"AH! YAMATO!" The blonde's head shot up at the sound of his father's voice and he quickly made his way back into the house. "I thought you said you didn't drink last night at the party?" His father accused poking at him with his finger.

"Wha? We didn't. Ken and Daisuke were over here. My band mates and I try not to drink when they're around," Yamato answered swatting at his father's hand. "Why do you ask?"

"If you didn't get drunk then why is there a burgundy haired boy sleeping in my bathtub?"

"Takashi's asleep in the bathtub?" Yamato repeated dumbly. "Was Yukata in there with him?"

"No, he left last night with Akira," answered a third voice. Yamato and Hirokai turned to see Takashi rubbing his sleepy eyes. "Sorry I fell asleep in your bathroom," he murmured. Hirokai just nodded before turning to leave the two friends alone.

"Is there a reason you were asleep in my bathroom?" Yamato asked him dragging him out into the kitchen and putting on a pot of coffee. Takashi stayed silent until he had the cup in his hands. He let out a sigh and placed the mug on the table.

"Well, Akira locked Yukata and me in the bathroom last night. He got angry and beat on the door. I said something sarcastic, he cried, and then we made out. After that he stood up, Akira let him out, and I sat in the bathroom trying to figure out exactly what I feel for him. I remember Akira telling me that you were going to sleep on the roof and to call if I needed a ride home. He had to bring Ken home. Apparently he and Daisuke had accidently missed the last train. Then I remember your dad screaming." He finished picking his mug back up and taking a sip of coffee. "What happened to you? Why'd you sleep on the roof?"

"Taichi kissed me." Yamato said blandly, Takashi spit his coffee out splattering the walls with the sugar and cream in it. "You know, my dad won't let you sleep in the bathtub again if you do shit like that."

"Why did Taichi kiss you?"

"I don't know."

"Didn't he say why?"

"Yeah, he said he didn't know." Yamato answered pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking a sip. Takashi winced. "Oh stop it. Black coffee isn't gross," he snapped. "Taichi just kind of freaked out, insulted me, and then apologized while he ran away. I don't know what to think about what happened."

Takashi let out a bitter laugh. "This is just great. The love of my life made out with me last night and I'm too afraid to start a relationship with him and the man you've hated for years kissed you. What screwed up lives huh?"

"If you like Yukata so much why don't you just get back together with him?" Yamato asked avoiding the conversation he knew would come about Taichi. "Why all of this hiding and dishonesty? We all know you like him, he knows you like him, and you know you like him. What's the problem?"

'What if it doesn't work out?" Takashi asked placing his head on the countertop. "What if we fight and hate each other? What if because we get together and break up we lose the band? What will happen—

"You do realize that the first night you slept with someone else Yukata spent the whole night here crying?" Yamato asked. Takashi stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked up at the boy. "Yeah, on the couch, Akira told him that if Yukata wanted he'd go, find you, and cut out your tongue."

"Is that why Aki didn't talk to me for like—three weeks?" Takashi asked cocking his head to one side. Yamato nodded. "Why were you okay with me then?"

"I figured you were just running away from how you really felt. There's no sense in being mad at you for something you had to figure out on your own."

"Why are you so mad at Taichi then for everything he's done? Couldn't he have been doing the same thing? Think about it. He kissed you. He didn't kick Daisuke off the team, maybe there's something there that you're missing."

"You know, when you slept with me and never called again Akira said that if I ever wanted you dead he knew three ways that wouldn't leave any clue as to who did it." Yamato said sharply. Takashi put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I concede the point," he said. Yamato smirked at him. "I'll think about what you said though. I do really miss Yuka."

"Good." Yamato said smiling, "Now let's go find the other two and practice for our next concert."

_In a perfect world, this could never happen. In a perfect world, you'd still be here and it makes no sense I could just pick up the pieces. But to you, this means nothing, nothing at all. _

"_Yukata, eventually you'll have to stop crying and tell me what's wrong," Yamato said. The boy had burst into his house almost ten minutes ago sobbing on the ground and Yamato hadn't the slightest clue as to why. "Do you want me to call Takashi?" the blonde asked softly bending down to try and comfort him. Yukata glared up at him and shook his head. "Okay then, I'll call Akira." _

_The two boys waited in silence for Akira to arrive. Yukata had stopped crying shortly after Yamato had hung up the phone. Finally there was a knock at the door. Yamato got up and answered the door. "Hey," he said jerking his head back to their white haired friend. "Any idea what's up with him?" _

"_A bit," Akira said pushing past Yamato. "I got a drunken text last night from Takashi, didn't you? He went and got himself laid with some girl at the after party last night. Yukata probably got the same message." _

"_Oh, nah my phone's been dead for a while now. I figured anyone who needed to get a hold of me would call here. Why did Takashi go and get laid by some random girl now?" Yamato asked flopping down on his couch. Akira looked to Yukata. "Don't worry about him, he's still in shock. He'll snap out of it eventually." The blonde mumbled waving to the black haired boy to sit anywhere he wanted. _

"_Well, Yukata still likes him—_

"_Oh." Yamato said cutting him off. He stood up and moved over to his friend. "Hey, Yukata, you can stay here tonight if you want to. I'm sure my father won't mind." Yukata just nodded before making his way over to the couch and falling onto it ungracefully. _

_Akira walked over to him. "If you want, I can go cut out his tongue as a souvenir," he said trying to get a laugh out of the boy. However Yukata just shook his head and curled up into a ball and let the tears fall again. Yamato sighed and sat at one end of the couch trying to comfort his still balling friend. Akira took a seat on the floor and let his hand rest on the white haired boy's shoulder. They tried to convince him that it would be okay. _

_I used to think that I was strong, until the day it all went wrong. I think I need a miracle to make it through, yeah…_

_Yamato sat and stared at the phone. He couldn't believe what he'd done the previous night. How could he have ever slept with—he shuddered and pulled the phone off of its docking station before dialing the familiar number to him. "Hey 'Kira? I did something stupid," he whispered into the phone. He heard the boy groan and promise to be over in a few minutes. Yamato sat on the floor by the couch waiting with his face in his hands. A knock sounded at his door after a few minutes. "Come in," he mumbled not bothering to stand up, his friend came through the door. _

"_What did you do that was so bad Yama?" he asked sitting down next to the boy. Yamato looked up at him with red eyes. "Oh no, it's bad isn't it?" Yamato nodded before scrubbing his eyes again. _

"_After the party last night—well I guess Takashi couldn't find Yukata or another person. He kind of started to hit on me." Yamato said quietly looking anywhere but at his friend. Akira was extremely protective of the band—even from each other. Yamato was pretty sure Akira'd kill him. "I know it's not an excuse but I'd gotten in a fight with my dad and-I – I just wanted to forget that. So, Takashi ended up taking me home and… well… I woke up there." _

"_Oh Yamato, tell me you didn-_

"_I did. I didn't mean to! It just kind of happened. He told me he'd call today sometime to talk about it. He hasn't called. What am I going to do? Yukata is going to hate me!" The blonde broke out in sobs again and Akira moved over to hug him. _

"_Yamato, it was a mistake. Yukata knows how persuasive Takashi is. The boy's a man-whore. He was bound to sleep with one of us again. You can't blame yourself because you were in a bad situation. Yukata won't be angry with you." _

"_Are you sure?" _

"_Yes." Akira said, continuing to rub the blonde's back. "You know, I know three ways we could kill him without being caught." Yamato let out a laugh and dried his tears. _

"_Thanks, but I feel like that won't help us much. We kind of need him he's a great guitarist. You know that." Yamato said leaning back on his couch. "I just, I don't really know exactly how to act around the two of them now. I know eventually I'll have to tell Yukata but how do you go about telling one of your best friends that you slept with the kid they're in love with?"_

"_I don't know the answer to that one. I suggest you call and tell him soon though, otherwise it might end up bad." _

"_You don't have to call me," Yukata said from behind the boys. Yamato and Akira jumped then turned to look at them. "Takashi called my freaking out a while back about what he is supposed to do now that he slept with you. He seems to think that you and he have a similar problem. Apparently he thinks he's slept with the kid I love, and you think just the opposite." Yukata folded his arms across his chest. _

"_Yukata, I'm so sorry I-_

"_Yamato, don't just don't. Look, we both know how persuasive Takashi can be. Don't feel bad. You basically got kicked when you were down. I'm not angry with you." The white haired boy cut him off, bending down to meet Yamato eye-to-eye. "Shit happens I get it. It isn't like Takashi hasn't been banging everything that moves recently. You can't be blamed for his actions—even if you were a part of it." _

_I wish that I could bring you back I wish that I could turn back time, 'cause I can't let go.  
>I just can't find my way. Yeah, without you I just can't find my way. <em>

The next morning, Yamato sat in his kitchen wondering what the day would bring once he got to school. He figured that Taichi would push him away more than he normally did. He suspected that when he got to school Taichi's little friends would be throwing names at him left and right and trying to make his life hell. He honestly couldn't care about any of that. It didn't matter to him what the school said. It only mattered why Taichi had kissed him, and what that meant in their relationship. He sighed and shook the thoughts from his head before grabbing a quick breakfast and making his way out of the apartment.

When he got to the school, he wandered down to the music room. The tension within the air was thick, and he looked between his two friends. Apparently, Yukata and Takashi were still not talking. He set down his stuff and got the attention of his silent friends. "Should we practice?" Yamato asked looking between them all. Takashi snorted and looked away. "No? Okay, it's not like we have a concert in a few days or anything. We should totally just sit here and skulk about this weekend. Cool." Yamato sighed plopping down into one of the chairs across from Akira. He turned to the boy and gave him a questioning look. Akira just shrugged.

"Sorry Yamato, but we just don't really feel up to playing right now maybe this afternoon after school?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, I'm going to go do something productive than." Yamato muttered, standing up and gathering his bag. He left his bass and friends in the music room and made his way out to the smoker's hill. Yamato figured he'd spend the morning writing songs. Yamato sat down with his back against the school and pulled out his notebook. He started scribbling random words around the edges of his notebook when something caught his attention. He looked up to see Taichi running across the field without a shirt on. Even though he'd deny it if anyone ever asked him, Taichi was really hot, smoking hot. He snorted to himself. In a perfect world, if Taichi were gay, he would almost consider… "Yeah, in a perfect world," he mumbled. A thought hit him and he scribbled down those words before working them into some lyrics he already had.

"Yami," he looked up at the sound of his nickname to see Tevin running up to him. "You came out here just to see me?" he asked in mock sweetness. "I'm so touched."

"No Tevin, I was just writing," Yamato mumbled looking up from his work. He caught sight of Taichi running up toward them. He sighed, this was the part he'd been dreading. The brunet caught sight of him and his face actually paled. Yamato waited patiently for something to come out of Taichi's mouth but instead, Taichi stormed past him.

"What was that about?" Tevin asked me looking between the retreating back of Taichi and Yamato.

"Well," Yamato answered looking around; he waited until all of the people filed into the school before he pulled Tevin around the corner into a secluded area of the school. "When I went to find Taichi after the party? I found him on the roof."

"And? You two didn't just fight like always?"

"No, well, yeah we did, but it was what happened after that. He kissed me Tevin," Yamato whispered. Tevin jerked away from Yamato and almost fell over.

"He what?" he whispered back, his voice horse. "What does that mean? What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Yamato responded rolling his eyes at his friend. "I'm going to do nothing. He didn't mean anything by it. I'm not going to bring it up to him. He still hates me; it was obviously a fluke so why worry."

"You know it was Tai who kissed you right?" Tevin repeated back slowly. Yamato rolled his eyes at the implication. "I'm sorry but I thought maybe that blonde hair messed with your mind Yami. You have to think about who kissed you. It's not like he just goes around kissing other guys!" Tevin whispered harshly.

"I'm doing nothing, Tevin." Yamato repeated sharply standing up and moving away from the black and red haired boy. "Taichi didn't mean anything by it, and this doesn't change the fact that I hate him. End of discussion."

_In a perfect world, this could never happen. In a perfect world, you'd still be here and it makes no sense I could just pick up the pieces, but to you this means nothing, nothing at all. _

Taichi tried to calm his breathing down. He hadn't really thought of what would happen if he saw Yamato at school. He had thought he'd have enough time to figure out what to do about Yamato before he saw him in school today. Seeing him so soon and near the football field nonetheless threw him for a loop. He sat down on the bench and rubbed his forehead. He didn't need this kind of stress in his life right now. All he wanted to focus on was his football. Not Yamato and the fairy parade. He shook his head. Nothing made sense to him anymore. This whole situation was way too confusing for him.

"Tai? Can we talk about what—" Daisuke asked coming around the corner to come face to face with his friend. He saw the confusion written across Taichi's face. "What's up?" he asked.

"I kissed Yamato." He said blandly, maybe the younger would know what to do in this situation. Daisuke dropped the football he was holding onto and sat down hard next to his captain.

"Why did you do that?" Daisuke asked his eyes bugging out of his head. Taichi shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.

"I—I don't know."

"Do you like him?" Daisuke asked quietly hoping he didn't upset Taichi too much. The older brunet jumped up suddenly.

"Absolutely not! I'm—I—I'm not a fag!" Taichi spat before he thought about what he was really saying. Daisuke flinched away from him and stood back up. "Daisuke I—

"No, don't worry about it. It's fine. I knew what you were like when I first joined the team. I shouldn't have expected more. Look, I'm going to head out now. I'll see you later." Daisuke said before practically running out of the locker room. Taichi swore and punched the locker before flopping back down on the bench. What the hell had he just done? He sighed and placed his head in his hands again.

"I'm not a fag," he whispered to himself he wanted to believe himself, but something deep down inside of him told him it was a lie. He stood up and made his way into the bathroom. He felt like he was going to be sick.

_I don't know what I should do now I don't know where I should go. I'm still here waiting for you. I'm lost when you're not around I need to hold on to you. I just can't let you go. Yeah, Yeah… In a perfect world, this could never happen, in a perfect world. You'd still be here and it makes no sense, I could just pick up the pieces but to you. This means nothing, nothing at all you feel nothing, nothing at all. Nothing at all…_

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><p>An: Well, Taichi seems to be having problems…. Anyway, read and review, I'll see you guys soon with chapter 10.


	10. Fighting

A/n: The flash backs have some _very _bad stereotypes in them. I just want to say I don't agree with any of this. That's kind of the point of this story. The song this chapter is _Fighting _by one of my favorite bands whom I feel sometimes doesn't get enough credit, Yellowcard. Thanks to Olianque, 3 Yoai Lover 3 Akira Nishikawa, and empire 14 for your reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. Neither Yamato nor I own Yellowcard or _Fighting_. I don't even own the coffee I'm drinking. It's my roommates.

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><p><em>Said I'd move on and I'd leave it alone<em>_, __but before I walk out there is something that I need you to know__. __I got lost in the blink of an eye__and I could never get back, no I never got back, you were not there when I wanted to say__that you were everything right__ a__nd it wasn't you but me that changed.__Now I gotta go it alone __b__ut I will never give up, no I'll never give up._

_Icy blue eyes watched him intently; he looked between the group of people and his former best friend. "You know that Ishida boy?" he heard. He looked up at the football players from a different team. He shrugged and waited for their next words. "We heard that he's slept with the entire school. Is it true? The guys and the girls?" Brown eyes met blue again. What was he supposed to say? _

"_I don't know, we aren't friends, I can't tell you what's true or false about him," Taichi decided on finally. Yamato watched him quietly from across the court yard. Taichi could feel his eyes boring into his back. Why was Yamato staring so hard? Maybe the blue eyed boy was confused as to why Taichi wasn't spreading the rumors around. _

"_Do you think he'd suck dick if we asked him?" One of the other boys asked nudging his friends and giggling at the reacting on the blonde from across the field. _

"_Why? Are you fags?" Taichi asked suspiciously. His captain had warned him against talking to anyone who "swung the other way". Although Taichi still wasn't sure why it mattered so much; he knew he didn't want to be considered a friend of the fairies. Or worse, a fag himself. It would lose him everything he cared about. Well, almost everything. He'd cared about Yamato at one point. Look where that had gotten him. _

"_Nah, we just know someone," one of the boys said casually, "he's always looking for another hookup. That's all gays are really, man-sluts. They're as bad as easy women." _

"_A lot of gays actually look for long term relationships." Taichi shot up at the sound of the voice. Yamato was standing in front of the crowd of boys, with his arms crossed over his rib cage. "Many of them last longer than heterosexual relationships." _

"_What did you say fag?" One of the football players asked pushing past Taichi to look at Yamato. _

"_Ishida! Stay out of this!" Taichi spat, trying to keep his voice angry. He didn't want to make it seem like he was trying to save Yamato or anything. He didn't want the blonde to get hurt, but if he kept talking he was going too. _

"_Yagami! Make me," Yamato drawled turning his attention back to the older football players. "Most of this, of course, is because straight men are so worried about their pathetic games and the appearance of being macho—certain—areas are over looked. In other words, straight men just can't keep it up. They're more concerned with the quantity of their performance rather than the quality. I like to call it overcompensation syndrome." A crowd had formed around the blonde and the other football players. Taichi let himself be pushed into the back ground. _

"_What did you just say?" One of the players spat. _

"_I said that you can't perform in the bedroom because you're too focused on scoring with other men's balls. It distracts you, although by the look of you, that's not the only area where you come up short, if it comes up at all." Yamato said waggling his pinky. The football player lunged at him only to be cut off by a teacher. _

"_Yagami, Ishida, Hokkaido!" the teacher yelled, "what is going on?" _

"_He provoked me!" Hokkaido yelled gesturing at Yamato. Blue eyes rolled in annoyance. _

"_He's a jackass," Yamato spat back. The teacher pulled Hokkaido away, yelling as he went. "So, Yagami, are those really the friends you want to hang around with? Don't you miss your- oh I don't know- morals?" _

"_Better to lose my morals than hang out with a fag like you!" Taichi spat, his fists curled into balls. Yamato actually recoiled at the insult. It was the first time in over a year he'd shown any emotion to what Taichi had said. Soon though his mask was back in place. _

"_One day, Taichi, you're going to realize that you're being an asshole. You're going to want to come back to me and apologize. When you do, remember this one thing. I'm not going to forgive you. Ever. Even if I start being nice and acting like your friend again, deep down inside of me I'll always remember what you said and did to me. I'll hate you forever." _

_What am I fighting for? There must be something more for all these words I sing Do you feel anything? Said "I'm ok", but I know how to lie. You were all that I hadyou were delicate and hard to find got lost in the back of my mind and I could never get back, no I never got back  
><em>

Taichi bolted awake from the memory, _"I'll hate you forever." _Yamato's voice rung so clearly in his head, Taichi could barely remember the incident. The last couple of days he'd been having the same nightmare over and over and all he could think about was why he had joined in on the taunting of Yamato all those years ago. He didn't know why it was suddenly bothering him, but the entire way he lived his life—ever since he kissed Yamato—had changed and he couldn't stand to be who he was anymore. This dream of his kept reaffirming that suspicion. He wasn't even sure it happened. He remembered those words though. He knew Yamato had said them to him at some point. He looked at his alarm clock. It read 5:45 in the morning. He groaned and crawled out of bed. Opening his window, he crawled out onto the fire escape. He looked over to see Yamato leaning against the brick wall. They hadn't spoken since he'd kissed Yamato. "Do you remember when you told that football player, Hokkaido off?"

Yamato didn't answer at first. He took a long drag of his cigarette, almost as if he were trying to recall the memory. "What of it?" he said finally, Taichi almost sighed knowing the memory was real then regretted it remembering everything that had taken place.

"Do," he started quietly looking out over the skyline of the city. "Do you actually hate me?" he whispered finally, not daring to look Yamato in the face. He could feel the blonde studying his face and his demeanor. Taichi waited in silence for the answer he knew would come. He waited for the resounding 'yes' to pass the other boys lips.

"If I hated you would I still wear your necklace?" He asked his voice just as quiet as Taichi's. "I don't know really what I feel about you right now," he said truthfully. "I don't hate you, Taichi. I'm more—disappointed that you chose the path you did. Daisuke's mad at you." He added out of the blue.

"Yeah, I'm a jackass," Taichi said in response. Yamato cocked his head to the side in question. "I basically called him a fag. I'm such a dumbass sometimes. I'm his friend for God's sake! I shouldn't say things like that to him," he said he realized what he said and looked over to the blonde. It was only there for a minute but he saw the flash of hurt cross through Yamato's eyes. "Sorry," he said.

"Don't be. I got over the unfairness of the situation between you and I a long time ago Taichi. I know and have accepted that we won't be friends."

"Why not?" Taichi perked up suddenly, "Why can't we be friends?"

Yamato let out more smoke. "Gee, let me think, uhm, you ridicule me at school, my band hates you, I'm supposed to hate you, Dai's mad at you, you'll get kicked off the football team, and… OH YEAH in ninth grade you tied me to a post and spray painted _fag_ onto my stomach!" Yamato snarked rolling his eyes. Taichi sighed; he knew the blonde was right.

"I guess it was just wishful thinking. I'm so sick of this crap. I was just hoping you'd be sick of feeling numb."

"There's always a chance you'd hurt me again. Or I'd hurt you."

"It's not like we're going to date or anything." Taichi hissed back, angry that Yamato was dismissing the proposal so fast. "We'd just be friends. Not even best friends."

"Fine," Yamato said, putting his cigarette out. "We can be friends again. On one condition," he added holding up his finger so Taichi didn't get too excited.

"What's that?" Taichi asked wearily.

"Why did you kiss me on that roof? You just said yourself you don't want to date and I think you've proven you disapprove of gays," Taichi flinched at the implication but didn't deny it. "So, why?"

"It seemed like the right thing to do I guess. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore," Taichi said. He hadn't really thought about why he had kissed Yamato. As the words fell out of his mouth he noticed the strange look in Yamato's eye. He didn't know quite what to think about that. Yamato only nodded.

"Sure, we can be friends," he said finally, pushing himself off the wall. "Just don't expect a very warm welcome from my band or other friends." And with that he's gone. Taichi gave a small nod that Yamato didn't see and climbed back through his window.

_You were not there when I needed to say I hit the bottom so fast that my head was spinning 'round for days. Now I gotta go it alone but I will never give up, No I'll never give up, What am I fighting for? There must be something more for all these words I sing, Do you feel anything?_

"YOU SAID WHAT?" five voices shouted in unison. Four were angry, one was gleeful. Yamato sighed and looked at his friends wearily. His three band mates looked at him almost as if he'd grown a third head. Daisuke just looked pissed off, and Tevin looked as if he were going to start shooting rainbows out everywhere. Only one member of the group was silent, Ken sat in a corner observing what was going on.

"Yamato… you can't just be friends with Taichi!" Akira seethed, moving around the piano to get closer to his friend. "Think about everything he did to you!"

"I can just "be friends" with Taichi it's my choice. He seems sincere. I'm sick of us dancing around each other like we hate each other. It's obvious we both still want to be friends. Otherwise why would he have kept Dais on the team? Why would I still wear this necklace?" Yamato asked pulling out the jewelry in question. "People can change 'Kira."

"No, they really can't," Takashi said, folding his arms across his chest. "People only wish others would change. Look at Yukata and me! I know he loves me, and he knows I love him, yet I continue to hound after everything else in existence because I'm unable to have a steady relationship that might actually do me good! I'm too afraid of commitment, and I'll never get over that." Yukata gave Takashi a bewildered look. "What? It's true…"

"Well, yeah, but I never thought you'd admit it," Yukata said, cocking his head to one side. "I figured you'd continue to ignore the problem."

"Well, I didn't," Takashi said folding his arms across his chest. "Do you want to make anymore commentary on it?"

"Uh, no, let's get back to the subject at hand," Yukata said.

"I'd assume that was me," Taichi said from the doorway. Everyone looked to him and he gave a small wave.

"Oh look, it's 'new Yagami'," Akira spat, glaring at Taichi, "Tell me, when you spray paint him this time, will Yamato have to spell out the word for you, or are you intelligent enough to spell on your own?"

"Well, it's great to know you don't hold a grudge," Taichi said dryly making his way into the music room. "I only came here to apologize to Daisuke. I was out of line and acting like an ass. I'm sorry, forgive me?" Taichi asked holding his hand out to the shorter brunet. Daisuke bit the inside of his lip before shaking Taichi's hand.

"Sure Tai," Daisuke said with a sigh.

"For the love of—am I the ONLY one who isn't going insane?" Akira asked throwing his hands up in the air.

"No, we're still on your side," Takashi answered him, raising his hand up. Yukata nodded in agreement.

"Well, thank you," he answered storming away from Taichi. He bumped into his shoulder on the way out. Takashi and Yukata followed shortly after. Takashi stopped suddenly and made his way back. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Akira was not in earshot.

"To be clear, I'm not actually on a side. I just know he'll be angry and not come to practice if he thinks we're all against him. Yuka feels the same way," Takashi said. "So, sorry, but until he comes around we're going to hate you."

"Fair enough, I guess," Taichi said with a shrug. Yamato watched in mild amusement at the interaction between the band mates and Taichi.

"I thought you said I wouldn't get a warm reception," Taichi said, turning to look at Yamato. Yamato just shrugged.

"Everyone has to get over everything eventually, Takashi and Yukata pretty understand, even if they don't actually like you."

"But they just—

"Yeah, he wasn't telling the truth. He was just saying that to make you more comfortable. Takashi's reasonable. He may not like you but he knows that, for some reason, I do, so he'll give you the benefit of the doubt until you prove him either right or wrong," Yamato said, grabbing his messenger bag from the chair next to him. "And, Yukata, well he'll agree to anything Takashi says."

"Oh," Taichi responded following Yamato out of the music room.

_What am I fighting for? What am I fighting for? Never give up,.. on this Never give up,. Up on this Never give up,. On this Never give up on this. Said "I'm ok" but I know how to lie. I will never give up, no I'll never give up_

Taichi scratched at his head. It was a few hours later, after he'd gone to see everyone in the music room to apologize to Daisuke. He honestly didn't know what to think about Yamato and his friends. Everyone in the school had already noticed the shift in his behavior. Which wasn't very surprising; he had gone from constantly downgrading half of the students and strutting around like he owned the school, to narrowly avoiding eye contact with anyone who tried to speak with him. He sighed and rounded a corner to run smack dab into Sora. He sighed again and tried to move past her. She stepped in his way. "Heard you're friendly to the fags now. Did Yamato touch you and pass on his gay?"

"Being gay is not a disease. I've finally come to accept that I was wrong, maybe you should do the same," Taichi breathed out barely realizing that he said the words. He hadn't really thought about anything involving his new outlook on Yamato and his friends. When he'd called Daisuke a fag, and the other boy had stormed out, Taichi had suddenly realized what he had been doing to everyone for all these years. He didn't understand how more people didn't hate his guts. Hell, at the moment, he hated his own guts. He couldn't really believe that he'd gone so long ignoring how he truly felt on the matter. He shook his head of the thoughts. He could have life changing epiphanies after he got away from Sora. He didn't need to stand in front of her, looking like an idiot while trying to justify in himself the sudden change he had from hating Yamato and his friends, to wanting to be their friends. He'd worry about that later.

"Whatever, I just came to find out if you were really going all faggy on us. I'm almost glad you broke up with me now," she responded folding her arms across her chest. Taichi let out an angry huff and pushed past her.

"You know what's going to happen now don't you?" She asked tauntingly as he continued to stroll on past her. He tried his best to ignore her. He'd ignore everyone if it meant truly finding out who he was and why he suddenly changed his entire belief system—twice—in just a short amount of time. The first time, when he abandoned his friend, and the second, now, how he is trying to win back a friendship that he knows he lost years and years ago when he sold his morals to belong to the popular kids. "Everyone will start to spread rumors about you. Rumors that will ruin you and your reputation, is that what you want?"

"I don't know what I want, Sora. I don't know what I'm fighting for. Can you tell me? So far, all I know is that I fought on your side and lost one of my best friends. I'm switching sides. Maybe I don't have good reasons, or fully know what kind of crap I'm getting myself into. All I do know is that whatever happens, I'll know that at this moment, unlike every moment up until now, I'll fight for something that's more than superficial. I won't ever let that get me down again. I'm tired of being afraid to be who I am and show myself to the world. You can keep hiding behind your mask of sluttyness and beer. I'm going to become the better person," and with that, he walked away from his ex-girlfriend.

_What am I fighting for?__There must be something more__, __for all these words I sing__do you feel anything?__What am I fighting for?__No, I'm never gonna give up, give up. __What am I fighting for? No, I'm never gonna give up, give up. Said that I'd fight for the one that I found. I'm gonna stay here while I wait for you to come around, I'll fight, you're a part of me now and I will never give up, no I'll never give up._

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><p>An: Sorry this took so long. School's a bitch sometimes, however this is my last week, so hopefully my writing will pick up and I'll be belting out chapters left and right. See you guys next time.


	11. Changes

A/n: I can't believe I'm already on Chapter 11. Thank you to Akira Nishikawa, 3 Yaoi lover 3, and Olianque reviews. Also, a huge thanks to Simply Fox, Uchiha 'Karite' Shikyo, Ninja Yuffie 13, and VKTatsuya for adding this story, or another one to their favorites/alerts list. Seriously, every time I get an e-mail about someone liking this story or my other writing, it makes me feel all happy. I'm glad you guys like this. Here's the next chapter! The song is Changes by David Bowie. Sorry, it's been, well, a hell of a summer for me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Wish I did, but you know, I lack that thing they call money in order to buy it.

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><p><em>I still don't know what I was waiting for and my time was running wild. A million dead-end streets every time I thought I'd got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet. So, I turned myself to face me but I've never caught a glimpse of how the others must see the faker. I'm much too fast to take that test.<em>

Taichi didn't know what to think of school. He and Sora had talked a few days before, and he was sure that she'd spread his new found friendship around the school. It would run like wildfire. He wasn't sure what the outcome would be, but he was worried about how he would handle losing everything so fast. He had known that he was basically committing social suicide, but it hadn't really clicked with him how fast it would happen. Already this morning he was getting strange looks and evil glares, most of which he warded off with his own scowl. It was putting him in a bad mood, when he'd decided enough was enough, and befriended Yamato again he hadn't really thought of the consequences, now however, almost a week later, he knew that something bad was bound to happen. He sighed and walked into school. Football practice had been cancelled because of the rain, and he found himself with nothing to do for the next hour or so. Daisuke and Tevin had scurried off moments after he had called it quits, and he had no idea where they'd gone, so here he was alone in the school. He had been wandering around both inside and outside for a good half an hour with nothing to keep his attention. Slowly, he padded down the hallways softly looking for something to catch his attention.

It was then Tevin came hurtling out of nowhere. Tevin's eyes widened as he crashed into Taichi sending them both hurtling backwards and onto the floor. "Oh, ah ha ha. Sorry there Taichi…" Tevin trailed off awkwardly standing up and offering a hand to the annoyed looking brunet. "I didn't mean to knock you over."

"Yeah, I noticed. What were you running for anyway?" Taichi asked, taking Tevin's hand and letting himself be hauled to his feet.

"I—well, nothing really. I was just bored," he shrugged. "I was kind of looking for something to do."

"I was headed for my locker. Want to join me?" Taichi asked jerking his head in the direction he'd been walking. "It's not very interesting, but at least you'll have company." Tevin nodded and the two of them headed off toward his locker.

"So," Tevin said, looking sideways at Taichi.

"So?" Taichi repeated back, wondering what the actual motives behind this conversation were. If he knew Tevin like he thought he did, this wasn't going to turn out well for him.

"I heard you kissed Yami," Tevin said finally, pulling off the best poker face that he could. Taichi stopped in his tracks.

"How do you know about that?" He asked weakly, his mind flashing back to the moment on that roof.

"Yami told me, of course. How else would I know?" Tevin asked, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I guess I never knew you two were so close," Taichi responded. He felt a pang of jealousy inside of his stomach. He ignored it and continued walking.

"Well, why did you kiss him?"

"I don't know. You ask a lot of questions."

"I know, it's part of my charm. So, spill."

"It seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"Do you like him?" Tevin asked quietly as a few kids passed by them. Taichi rolled his eyes. At least the multi-colored haired boy had SOME kind of grace. "I mean, are you starting to…"

"NO!" Taichi shouted, before looking around and lowering his voice. "No, I'm not gay. I can't be. It wouldn't be right. Not after I spent so much time assuming that it was a wrong way to live."

"Me think the lady doth protest too much," Tevin sighed out, glancing sideways at Taichi.

"Maybe I protest just enough, and I'm not a lady!" Taichi hissed glaring at him. Tevin held up his hands in mock protest.

"Okay, okay," he soothed, "I'm just saying that if you did like Yamato, then, you know, you're feelings might be returned. I mean, right now I don't think Yamato likes you like that. Heck, I'm not even sure he likes you, but if you were nicer to him—

"I don't like him! Will you go away?"

"Sorry, I guess there was more there than I thought." Tevin said turning on his heels and marching off in the other direction. Taichi stopped at his words, wondering what he had meant by that. It reminded him of a conversation he'd had with his mother.

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes. Don't want to be a richer man Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man, time may change me but I can't trace time._

_Taichi was sitting at the dining room table doing his homework. He looked up briefly as his mother entered the room and started to prepare dinner. He smiled faintly at her as she stuck out her tounge and pulled butter out of the fridge. "So," she started, setting the butter on the counter and turning back to her son. "How did the apology go with Yamato?" _

"_Fine I guess," _

"_Are you guys friends again?" _

"_No, I would never be friends with a fag, and he'll never be friends with me again. He told me just the other day that he hated me." _

"_Taichi, do not use that type of language in this house! I'm sure that isn't true, though, sweetie. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. You two make quite a pair." Taichi flushed at his mother's statement. _

"_No we don't! Mom, how could you say something like that?" _

"_I didn't mean anything by it. Sweetie, you two just got along so well, I thought—Well never mind. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." _

"_Ick. I can't believe—I'm going out onto the deck!" Taichi said, throwing down his pencil and running to his room. He sighed and made his way onto the deck balcony. _

_I watch the ripples change their size, but never leave the stream of warm impermanence and  
>so the days float through my eyes. But still the days seem the same and these children that you spit on. As they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through. <em>

Takashi burst into the music room. Akira looked up startled from the key board he'd been messing around with. "Where's Yuka?" he asked, his voice strained and nervous.

"Uhm, in the back of the room," Akira said pointing. "Where he always is?"

"Thanks," the burgundy haired boy breathed, before he took off at a fast pace for the back of the room. Akira only blinked before going back to his fiddling. Takashi heard the soft sound of the piano playing from one of the back practice rooms. He looked through the window to see Yukata sitting at one of the pianos playing Pure Imagination (1) from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. "Hey," he said softly making Yukata jump.

"Takashi, what are you—" Yukata was cut off by another pair of lips on his.

"I'm sick of being scared." Takashi muttered. Yukata only smiled.

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes. Don't tell them to grow up and out of it. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain). Ch-ch-Changes. Where's your shame you've left us up to our necks in it. Time may change me but you can't trace time. Strange fascination, fascinating me. Changes are taking the pace I'm going through._

"Tevin brought up the kiss to you didn't he?" Taichi jumped at the sound of Yamato's voice. He turned to see the blonde lighting up his first cigarette of the night.

"You know that's a gross habit," Taichi responded crinkling his nose at the foul smell of the cigarette.

"Yeah, well, I had to do something. I was going crazy at the time I started. What can I say? It's really none of your damn business anyway. What do you think he's planning?" Yamato asked, the snippiness of his voice leaving when the subject changed back to Tevin.

"Nothing good," Taichi responded folding his arms across his chest. "I don't know what he has in his mind. He quoted Shakespeare to me the other day."

"Oh really, which line?" Yamato asked in a curious voice. He smirked a little when Taichi's ears went read around the edges. "Ohh… was it Romeo and Juliette? Does he think you're my Romeo?" Yamato asked batting his eyelashes. Taichi scoweled at him.

"None of your damn business!" he snapped. Yamato almost felt a little guilty for teasing him like that, but quickly let it roll off of him. He really didn't care all that much.

"Touchy. Well, fine. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see what happens with that one," Yamato said in response. "How are you handling all of this changing and being my friend thing? You've seemed a bit jumpy the past few days."

"I guess I've decided to go against the strain. Time may change me," Taichi said, "but I can't change time. I have to deal with whatever gets thrown at me. Que Sirra Sirra, no?"

"I kind of wish you were more like this when we had been friends. I've missed this side of you Taichi," Yamato said, looking out across the horizon of the city. "I felt for the longest time that I'd never get you back."

"Well, you haven't gotten me all the way back. There's a lot about myself that I not only lied to you about, but also myself. I think it's going to take a long time for me to fully see what I did to others. Maybe one day I can change how they see me."

"Taichi, I think you underestimate how much you've already changed. Would you even have bothered to talk to me a year ago?"

"No, but then again, you wouldn't have even looked at me. I guess we're both changing."

"Oh trust me, I would always look at you."

"What do you mean by that?" Taichi asked suddenly, turning to Yamato, curiosity written all over Taichi's face.

"Never mind," Yamato said putting out the butt of his cigarette before heading back into his room. "See you tomorrow,"

"Bye, Yama—to…" he said awkwardly finishing the name. Yamato looked back at him for just a second, before he shook his head and continued into his house. _  
><em>  
><em>Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older Time may change me But I can't trace time I said that time may change me But I can't trace time<em>

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><p>AN: Quick explainer about this chapter. I got a few negative reviews (or at least they were negative sounding) and I wasn't sure why until I went back and read this chapter. I didn't like what I read. It was sloppy and not in tune with the rest of the chapters. I would like to give a brief explanation why. Not an excuse, but just so you understand why I changed it.

The first part of the chapter, I wrote in a normal state of mind. The second part (middle) I wrote while I was panicking about my finals (not a good plan) and the last part was written right after my (ex) boyfriend decided to text me to tell me he wanted to break up… so again not the best moment to write. I wanted to apologize though, for posting that chapter. It wasn't ready for you to see and I'm sorry it was so confusing. I promise that everything is back on track now though.

Sorry for the late updates. I've written this chapter almost five times now. My laptop is having technical issues right now, and I'm not sure how much longer it will last. I want to have the next chapter up sometime in the next two weeks, but if you don't see it, that means my laptop crapped out on me. Anyway, see you guys next time. And please, read and review. I love your feedback on this story.

1: My most favorite song ever. Seriously, I love this song.


	12. Behind Blue Eyes

A/n Oh. My. Goodness. I don't even know where to begin. First, I'm sorry. This chapter is giving me gray hairs. It should have been up the last week of August but I've lost the document five times. Here's to the sixth. Thanks for the criticism on the last chapter. I appreciate the feedback and hope I can do better at this chapter and maybe get it on the first try. Anyway, on with chapter 12. This chapter is Behind Blue Eyes by The Who. Also, Takeru comes in. I don't know if he'll actually be any bigger than he is now. He isn't really a part of Yamato's life so we'll see.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Neither Yamato nor I own the song Behind Blue Eyes.

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><p><em>No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. And no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies. <em>

Yamato sighed, flicking his cigarette into the cool early morning air. He was thinking about the last time he'd seen Taichi. Right before he'd gone to bed for the night, it had sounded like—like Taichi had given him a nickname. "_B_ye _Yama… to_" That's what Taichi had said. There had been a substantial pause. What had the brunet been thinking? He flicked off the ember end of his cigarette and rubbed a hand over his face.

The way Taichi had said his name—it was so reminiscent of their childhood. He almost felt like nothing had ever happened between them. Feelings that he didn't understand were blooming inside his brain. He rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye. He had promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn't have those feelings for anyone in the near future at least not until he was out of high school. He shook his head, tossing his cigarette butt aside in the bin he'd put up on the deck. This whole thing was in his head and he needed to quit thinking so much about it. Taichi probably just had something stuck in his throat. It didn't mean anything. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it. He took a slow drag from it and blew it out. He didn't react when he heard the window slide open, nor did he react when Taichi slid through the window and leaned against the wall.

"Morning," Taichi said.

"Hey," Yamato responded, flicking ash off of his cigarette.

"You know smoking is really bad for you."

"Oh, thank you—that changed my life. I'm so glad you were here to tell me that," Yamato drawled, taking a longer drag before blowing it out over the cool morning air. Taichi sighed and rubbed a hand across his face.

"You don't have to be an asshole about it okay?"

"It's kind of in my job description," Yamato said, rolling his neck and wincing at the cracking. "I mean, it's like "be an asshole to everyone and smoke a lot of cigarettes" that's what I'm all about."

"Yeah, well, people can change," Taichi said, folding his arms across his chest and pushed himself off the wall to turn and face the blonde. "I mean look at me, I changed. You could too, you know— if you just tired."

Yamato let out a bitter laugh. "I tried changing once; it got me tied to a lamp post. I'm pretty sure you were there. Don't you remember?" Taichi flinched back at the words. Yamato sighed, regretting the words already. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. You've been doing a great job of trying to make up for your past."

"Yamato Ishida apologizing to me," Taichi said, an amused grin plastering his face. "This is something I didn't think I'd ever see. Even when we were friends." Yamato turned away and didn't answer. He knew Taichi was right. He let out another puff of smoke trying to think of something to say back to his brunet counterpart. "Wow, and now you're speechless." Yamato blushed looking away. Taichi shook his head and made his way back to his window. "I'll see you at school Yama," he said slipping back into his room.

Yamato looked at the window in shock. Taichi hadn't even covered it up that time. He let his mouth hang open for a second before finishing his cigarette and shaking his head. Taichi was just as hard to figure out as always. He looked a final time over the scenery of the city before climbing back into his own window and moving to get ready for the day. He could worry about Taichi later when he was better acquainted with his new habits and personal quirks. It had been way to long since the last time Yamato had really been able to tell anything about his friend. It upset him too, he could remember so many times in his childhood when Taichi had known exactly what he needed. In fact it wasn't until recently that he'd been able to hide anything from Taichi. He had to wonder, though, if Taichi was having a hard time now. He seemed to run away every time they grew a bit closer. Maybe this really was just as hard for Taichi as it was him.

_But my dreams they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be I have hours, only lonely my love is vengeance that's never free._

"_Why are you sad?" a seven year old Taichi asked, sitting down next to Yamato. Watery blue eyes looked up at his friend. Taichi had seen his friend from inside sitting all alone on the fire escape and decided to go out and try to cheer him up. After all, what were best friends for?_

"_I miss my mom," Yamato said quietly. "I saw her and Takeru. I wanted to go say hi, but daddy told me we couldn't. He said mommy didn't want to see us. I don't understand why she wanted Takeru but not me," Yamato said, his sentence ending with a slight whimper. _

"_Maybe she's planning some sort of surprise party for you?" Taichi offered, he hated to see his friend so sad. _

"'_Chi, she hasn't lived with me and daddy since I was four. She and daddy got divided (1)." _

"_What's divided?" Taichi asked, his head cocking to the side. _

"_Donno. All I know is she and daddy yelled a lot then divided everything up between them. Takeru and I included." Taichi sat down and hugged his friend, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Yamato blinked giving Taichi a bewildered look. "What was that for?" _

"_You looked sad. I didn't like that emotion in your eyes," Taichi said simply. "My mommy said the eyes let to see who people really are. You shouldn't be sad." _

_Yamato gave a small smile before returning Taichi's hug. "Thanks 'Chi. I'm glad we're friends," he said snuggling into Taichi's side. There was a shout and Taichi slowly let go of Yamato. _

"_You're welcome. Don't be sad anymore, I gotta go though, that's my father," Taichi said, standing up and making his way over to the window. He climbed through, and shut it tight. Yamato sighed, and made his way back into the house, seeing his father sitting in the chair reading the paper. _

"_Will I get to see Takeru ever again?" he asked, moving to his father and sitting by his feet on the floor. Hiroaki sighed and set his news paper down. _

"_I don't know buddy, it depends on what happens with the custody battle I'm now facing. I'm hoping to get to have some rights to see him, which means you will too, but your mother is fighting to get to see you as well. It may be a while. _

"_Oh," Yamato said, standing back up and wandering back into his room. He sat on his bed and hugged himself, wishing Taichi would come and give him another hug.  
><em>  
><em>No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings. Like I do, and I blame you! No one bites back as hard on their anger. None of my pain and woe. Can show through<em>

Yamato sat next to Akira in the music room watching their other two band mates stare lovingly at each other. They'd been here for nearly ten minutes and their counterparts had yet to realize they were here. "So, they're in love now? Not lust, right? I don't think I can handle another flip-flop," Yamato whispered loudly to Akira, he'd just arrived at the school and hadn't really heard anything about the two of them.

"Yeah, apparently, Takashi just came in and kissed Yukata after saying he didn't want to be afraid anymore. Since then they've been like this."

"Ah, so, are we supposed to break them up? I mean, Daisuke will be here soon, and I'm sure Taichi will tag along with him. I'm not sure he's quite ready to see something as—uhm,- new as this relationship," Yamato whispered. Akira blinked and shrugged, looking back to the two boys across from him who seemed ready to pounce on each other. The doors burst open at that moment breaking the two out of their trance.

"Akira, Yamato, when did you get here?" Yukata asked in confusion, looking between his friends.

"I came in somewhere around 'no, I love you more cutesipoo," Akira drawled, raising his hands. Yukata blushed as Taichi and Daisuke made their way over to the small group of friends.

"We don't sound like—

"I came just in time to hear Takashi refer to you as honey-bear," Yamato chimed in, grinning at Akemi and nudging him in the side. Akemi let out a small laugh.

"What's going on?" Daisuke asked, his usual look of confusion popping onto his face.

"Thing one and Thing two finally decided they liked each other," Akira stated mildly, ignoring the raging blush that spread further over Yukata's face, and the glare that accompanied it from Takashi. "Don't look at me like that; you both should be lucky I didn't say anything worse. Considering I walked in on you sucking face last week, I think I have been pretty nice."

"Uhm, anyway," Daisuke said, drawing attention away from the new couple. "We came to invite you guys to our next football game. We know you don't usually go, but it's the semifinals, and well, you're all my friends and I would love to see you there."

"Taichi? Would you like to see us there?" Akira asked, "I mean, are we your friends too?"

"I would hope to one day be friends with you, and I would love if you came to the game," Taichi said. Yamato had to hand it to the kid, he knew when to be diplomatic. If there was anything Yamato was sure about it was the tension and dislike that was still thick in the air between the two boys. A lot of unresolved issues were here and Yamato didn't know if they would ever really be resolved.

Akira scoffed and stood suddenly from his stool and stormed into the back room. Yamato sighed but made no effort to go after him and end his temper tantrum. Akira would get over it. Or there would be a huge blow out between Taichi and Akira. Whichever happened first.

_No one knows what it's like to be mistreated, to be defeated behind blue eyes._ _No one knows how to say that they're sorry and don't worry I'm not telling lies._

Even with Taichi's bold move to their friend group, Yamato still heard all of the nasty names as he walked down the hallway. He sighed and tried to block out all the different forms of "fag" that were spat in his general direction. Not every kid in the school was bad. Many of them were actually obsessed with his band and him. Jun Motomiya, Daisuke's sister, was one of their biggest fans, and despite her somewhat creepy stalking habits, more than once she'd come to their defense and warded of some of the worse of the nasty kids. She was quite a scary person when you were on her bad side. It was kind of nice.

Yamato was broken out of his thoughts when his younger brother stood in front of him not letting him pass. "Takeru," he said, confused as to why his brother was anywhere near him. They didn't fight by any means, but they'd had an unspoken law between them. Yamato didn't drag Takeru into his life, and Takeru didn't try and change Yamato's standing at the school. With his pull in the basketball team, his little brother could do a lot of persuading. However, Yamato didn't want Takeru to be a part of all the politics. So, he'd opted not to tell Takeru that he was gay or what had happened to him his freshman year. Takeru had only recently moved back into the area with his mom, and he didn't really know what had happened. Yamato was positive that he had suspicions. Especially with the rumors that were sure to have spread around about him, but his brother never said anything to him.

"Yamato," Takeru said back, studying his brother intently. "I am supposed to invite you over for dinner. Mom wants you to come by. Apparently she's sad you don't want to visit her anymore."

"Oh, is that all? Yeah, tell her I'll stop by some day this week. Dad and I have just been really busy," Yamato said, it wasn't a complete lie. He did plan on going to see his mother. He just hated being there. He felt really uncomfortable. His mother hadn't really ever told him why she'd left his dad, nor did she ever tell him why she left him there with him. He didn't regret living with his dad, and if given the chance, he didn't think that he'd do anything to change the life he had so far, but he still found it uncomfortable to be around her especially because she seemed to try way too hard to make up for lost time. Takeru nodded and wandered back down the halls away from his older brother. Yamato watched him go. He regretted not being closer with his brother. He felt like there was so much missing between them. Every time they started to form a relationship something would come along and ruin it. First it was the divorce, then it was his mother refusing to have joint custody. After that, Yamato became to busy with school and his band to really pay attention to the little brother that had popped back in his life. Now, he was too afraid to let him in because he feared the school would rip him apart if he sympathized with Yamato at all. Yamato figured it would be better to have a poor relationship with Takeru until he knew that his reputation in the school wouldn't ruin his brother's.

"No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man. Behind blue eyes," Yamato sang quietly turning around to get to his class as the bell rang. He was going to be late, but he couldn't really bring himself to care.

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><p>1: Divorced. I just thought that would be a kind of cute kiddish way to say it, divided, but he meant divorced.<p>

A/n: I am so sorry. I didn't really think I was going to have this much trouble. I wanted this chapter up SO long ago but it was a series of aggravating events. After I finally got my computer fixed, the semester was in full swing at college and I had no time to re-write this chapter. I finally decided to just screw my classes and take the time to write it. I apologize again for the lateness of this chapter and I hope you guys can forgive me. Anyway, please read and review all of your nice, thoughtful reviews help me and encourage me to keep writing.


	13. Through Glass

A/n: I bring you chapter 13. Now with more Takeru! The song this chapter is _Through Glass _by Stone Sour. This song is probably in my top twenty all-time favorite songs. I've used it before but it was in a fic I didn't like (and will probably delete in the coming days) so I've decided to ignore my unspoken rule of not re-using bands or songs and use it for this chapter. Thanks to Akira Nishikawa, MaryWatanuki (also thanks for the push to finish this chapter, sorry agian it took so long.), and TogetherAgain for your reviews. Also, thanks to all of those who added me to their favorite authors/author alerts list and those who added my stories to the corresponding favorite/alerts list. A bit of a warning, a little more swearing than usual, I think, apparently this Takeru swears a lot. Also, he's not really in character, but most of the characters aren't really. So there you go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Neither Yamato nor I own _Through Glass_.

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><p><em>I'm looking at you through the glass. Don't know how much time has passed. Oh God it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head. 'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed. All I know is that it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head.<em>

Takeru hadn't talked to his brother in ages. He wasn't even really sure that Yamato actually remembered they were related. Most of the time, he would watch his brother, and all the drama that seemed to circle through his life, float around the halls and not really live. It was weird though, over the past few weeks he'd seen a change in his brother. One that he hoped would be for good. He really didn't know what to think of this change, but his brother seemed to almost be living like a human being again.

It had all started after that party Takeru had convinced Tevin to convince Yamato to go to. After that, a series of events unfolded that the younger blonde really wasn't prepared for. He hadn't counted on Taichi breaking up with his girlfriend and starting to follow Yamato and his friends around. It was weird to think that they were becoming friends. Especially because Yamato was allowing him in. In all honesty it kind of pissed Takeru off. Taichi, who had been so mean to Yamato, who had done so many things wrong in his life, was breaking down the icy walls Yamato had put up so long ago, the walls that he'd created in the first place. No matter how hard he tried, Takeru couldn't break those same walls.

He hadn't been back at the school for very long, but he had already known almost everything that had gone down between Taichi and Yamato in ninth grade. It was a bit shocking to walk into a school and on the very first day, have the entire population of the school telling you about how much of a freak your brother was—how they found out he was related to Yamato he'd never know, not that he cared, he loved his brother and wanted to have the kind of relationship they had when he was a kid. Somehow though, Yamato had convinced himself that he was a toxic plague. He wouldn't let Takeru within fifteen feet of him at any time. At least not at school. Any time Takeru would go over to visit Yamato and their dad, Yamato would at least have polite conversation. He shook himself out of thought and slammed the door to his locker. He turned around to find his brother about to walk by. On impulse he stood in front of him.

"Takeru," Yamato said, a lazy drawl breaking through his voice. Takeru tried to ignore the hurt feeling he got every time his brother was like this.

"Yamato," he answered back. "I'm supposed to invite you over for dinner. Mom wants you to come by. Apparently she's sad you don't want to visit her anymore."

"Oh, is that all? Yeah, tell her I'll stop by some day this week. Dad and I have just been really busy," Yamato said, pushing past him. Takeru could hear him singing to himself, but didn't bother to try and further the conversation. He had to remember to go home and tell his mom to expect Yamato over. He'd lied to Yamato just a bit. His mom did miss seeing him, but hadn't planned on inviting him over until Yamato was more adjusted to the situation. Whatever that meant. Takeru figured it had been long enough. He missed his brother and wanted him to go back to the way he was before high school. He hated this cold and distant Yamato.

_How do you feel? That is the question but I forget you don't expect an easy answer. When something like a soul becomes initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of folks. So while you're outside looking in describing what you see. Remember what you're staring at is me._

_The family dinner could only be described as, well, tense. Takeru and his mother had just moved back into the area after a long trip around the world. His mother had received a great job in the states a while back as a journalist and thought it was too big of an opportunity to pass up. After being apart for so long, all Takeru wanted to do was see his older brother and father. So he had had begged his family to get together for one dinner. His parents—as usual—had fought for the entire time and now chose to spend the evening glaring at each other and refusing to speak. _

_His older brother, on the other hand, hadn't said a word all night and was only getting more agitated as the night wore on. Takeru tried not to look too much like a kicked puppy. After all, he knew his parents were going to fight, he had just hoped that his brother would've still been the same after so long apart. "I'm going outside for some fresh air," Yamato announced suddenly, abruptly standing from the table and stalking out. _

"_Don't be too long," his mother called after him. Takeru watched his brother leave and bit his lip. He sighed and stood. _

"_I'm going to go with him," he said, following Yamato out the door. He heard just the beginning of a fight as he made his way out. He rolled his eyes and looked around for his brother. He was shocked to find him leaning against the back of the building, cigarette in hand. "You smoke?_"_ he blurted, not knowing what else to say. Yamato looked at him in mild surprise before letting out a puff of white smoke. _

"_What do you want?" he asked, a bitter harshness that wasn't present three years ago stinging thorough his voice. "Are you happy you had your little reunion? Dad's going to be bitching about this for weeks to come." _

"_I-I'm sorry I just wanted to—_

"_Yeah, well don't," Yamato said, tapping the end of his cigarette on his fingers. Takeru watched the ash fall in silence, not knowing what to say. His brother had always been a little anti-social but this was an all time low for him. "Look, don't cry," Yamato said, suddenly, Takeru glared up at him. _

"_I wasn't going to cry," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "What the hell happened to you? We were gone for three years!" _

"_I started sucking dick," Yamato stated, as if that answered everything. He dropped the butt of his cigarette onto the ground before crushing it under his heel. "You'd best stay away from me too. There isn't any point of trying to rekindle whatever 'brotherly relationship' you seem to think we have." Takeru had to admit the air quotes and sarcastic voice hurt a bit. _

"_Is this your way of coming out of the closet? Because seriously, I think that little boy crush you had on Taichi all those years ago did that for me. I was only nine and I knew you liked him differently." _

"_I_ _don't like Taichi." The anger behind the voice made Takeru take a step back. "Seriously, when you go to school on Monday, join a sport, stay away from me, and make the right friends. Everyone else did. You don't need to get dragged down with me." _

"_What if I want to?" Takeru challenged, stepping in front of his brother. _

"_Look, you won't want to. But if for any reason, you decide you do, I don't want my annoying little brother hanging around me all the time, got it? I have enough of that with Tevin in my life." Takeru was going to ask who Tevin was, but decided against it, letting that subject dropped. _

"_Look, I haven't been back very long yet, but you're avoiding me for some reason. What could be so bad you'd treat me like this? The Yamato I knew when I was a kid wasn't scared of anything." _

"_Go to high school. You'll find out." _

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass. Don't know how much time has passed  
>All I know is that it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head. How much is real? So much to question. An epidemic of the mannequins, contaminating everything. We thought came from the heart but never did right from the start. Just listen to the noises. (Null and void instead of voices)<em>

_It didn't take long for Takeru to figure out what Yamato meant. On the first day of term he'd stayed after to try out for the basketball team and a group of boys approached him. "Hey, Takashi, Takeru right?" they asked, stopping short of where he was practicing his lay-up. He stopped dribbling the ball and turned to them. _

"_Yeah, what of it?" he asked, placing the ball under his arms. _

"_You're the Ice queen's brother aren't you? Ishida, Yamato?" _

"_Ice Queen?" _

"_Yeah, he doesn't have any friends. He's a fag after all." One of them spoke up. Takeru felt his blood run cold. _

"_What did you call him?" Takeru asked, his voice quiet. _

"_A fag, you know, likes guys, disgusting, that kind of thing?" _

"_There is nothing wrong with liking guys," Takeru asked a frown on his face. Back in the states he'd made quite a few friends in the LGBT community, many of them he'd kept in contact with and were some of his best friends. He wasn't used to such a narrow minded view on the world. _

"_Well—it's gross. I mean, do you really want some guy staring at your junk all day?" _

"_You don't seem to mind when girls do it," Takeru pointed out, casting a glance over to the cheerleaders. They giggled and waved at him. He ignored it and turned back. "Not to mention, that just because someone is gay or a lesbian doesn't mean they'll actually be attracted to you."_

"_Are you a fag too?" one of the asked, advancing toward Takeru. "We don't like them here." _

"_No, I'm straight, I just happen to be less of a narrow minded jackass," Takeru sad, dropping the ball and taking a step toward the offending boy. "I suggest you back the hell away from me, and leave my brother alone."_

"_What are you going to do if we don't? Fairy?" the boy asked, shoving Takeru. His friends laughed. Takeru gave a small smirk before punching the boy across the jaw. He stepped back in surprise before launching himself at Takeru. They wrestled on the ground for five minutes, Takeru gaining the upper hand before they were pulled off each other. An angry Taichi stared down at Takeru. _

"_What is wrong with you? Do you want to get suspended on the first day?" he yelled, waving his hands at Takeru. "What are you thinking? You're as crazy as your brother!" _

"_Someone has to be! They're calling him names. Why the hell haven't you done anything about it?" Takeru asked, staring down Taichi. He didn't understand why his brother's best friend would be like this. _

"_Grow up, Takeru, Yamato and I haven't been friends in a long time. People change.—_

"_That and Taichi taught that fag a lesson! He tied him to a flagpole and branded him. Now everyone knows what a fag Yamato is!" _

"_Takeru, you have to understand high school—_

"_Let me guess, people change?" he growled, shoving Taichi away from him. He stormed out of the gym, too angry to be in the school any longer. He knew what his brother had been talking about. This school was poisonous. He looked back one more time and shook his head. He made his way to his apartment wondering if he'd ever see the brother from his childhood again. _

_Before you tell yourself it's just a different scene remember it's just different from what you've seen. I'm looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed and all I know is that it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home. Sitting all alone inside your head._

"Takeru, right?" Takeru turned at the sound of his name to find what could only be described as a carbon copy of Taichi standing in front of him. He was in the gym again, practicing for the up-coming basketball game. He'd gotten on the team after apologizing to the gym teacher and auditioning the day after he'd beaten the crap out of the jackass who'd made fun of his brother. Somehow all of that had been missed by his brother who never spoke of the incident.

"Yeah, and you are?"

"Daisuke. I'm a friend of your brother's, well sort of. I think I'm his friend, he more tolerates me because he feels bad," Daisuke said with a laugh. Takeru just waited a slight scowl on his face. How was it everyone in the school seemed to be Yamato's friend except him?

"Aren't you on the football team?" Takeru questioned, cocking his head to the side. He was pretty sure he'd seen the boy working with the other freshman getting them prepared for the semi-finals. Takeru wasn't sure how but the team had managed to fumble its way into the play-offs. He'd heard the team had started off pretty bumpy in the beginning of the year when the entire varsity team had been suspended.

"Uhm, yeah actually I am. I just-well, I heard you were Yamato's brother."

"You didn't come to make fun of him, did you? I kind of beat the crap out of the last boy who said anything. I won't hesitate to do the same to you. You're like Taichi's little minion or something aren't you?"

"Uh, not really, I mean he's a great captain and we're friends, but my current—significant other is a bit hard for him to swallow—not that Ken would really want Tai to swallow him hard," Daisuke blushed when he realized what he'd just said. "Oh God, I'm sorry I've been hanging out with Takashi and Akira too much."

"Uhm, it's fine," Takeru responded, shifting just a bit uncomfortable. "What is it you want, exactly?"

"You're having trouble re-connecting with Yamato right?" Daisuke asked taking the basket ball from his hands and dribbling it before making his way to the basket. Takeru raised an eyebrow at the impromptu basketball game but decided to appease him.

"If you consider his yelling at me and telling me to back the hell off "trouble" then, yeah, pretty much."

"Ahh, don't worry about that. It's just how Yamato shows affection you should see how he acts with Tevin, he treats him like a little brother—sorry," Daisuke said, again blushing when he realized what he said.

"No, don't worry about it. I've pretty much conceded to complete strangers knowing my brother better than I do. No matter what I do, he just doesn't want to get close to me. I guess eventually I'll have to just assume that he doesn't want me in his life. He'd rather continue to get hurt by that asshole Taichi."

"Taichi isn't that bad, just a little misguided. He really likes Yamato and once he quits this stubborn charade he'll realize his feelings," Daisuke said, shooting the ball and missing, he caught the rebound and spun away from Takeru heading down court.

"Why do you say that?" Takeru asked, stealing the ball from Daisuke and dribbling it back up the court. He lined up a jump shot and watched the ball fall effortlessly through the net.

"I was the same with Ken, not as mean, mind you, but it took me a very long time to get my head out of my ass. Nice shot by the way," Daisuke complemented, before stealing the ball back. "Anyway, since I've become friends with him, I've kind of adopted the role of his life coach with Tevin. I pout and whine and Tevin persuades him to do as we please. If you want, I can help you connect with your brother again. He'll listen to us." He shot and made it in.

"Why would you do that for me? I mean, we don't know each other and you don't owe my brother or me anything." Takeru went to steal the ball back to be blocked by Daisuke who ran back down the court, tripping the blonde up with a quick fake roll to the left before running to the right.

"Your brother saved my boyfriend from having the same emotional scars he does. Your brother helped me change the views of a few people in this school, and helped me realize the way I felt about myself wasn't healthy. The least I can do is give him a good proverbial smack when he's ruining his own life, for example, telling you to back the hell off because he doesn't want to hurt your reputation at this school."

"Wait, that's why he won't talk to me? He thinks I care about what the rest of this narrow minded school thinks?" Takeru tried to take the ball again, and failed, almost face-planting as Daisuke moved easily around him.

"No, he thinks that if you support him in anyway—like he knows you will—the rest of the school will do something terrible to you. He's convinced they'll find a way to hurt you. He doesn't want that, so instead he's pushing you away. He thinks it's for the best."

"He's wrong."

"No, really?" Daisuke asked, the sarcasm dripping from his voice as he shot the ball again. "I win," he said, walking away.

"You should try out for the team," Takeru called after him, lacking something better to say to the boy. He heard Daisuke laugh.

"It was a fluke I won, I distracted you. I'll be in contact with you later about getting you're brother to stop being Mr. Head-up-his-ass."

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass don't know how much time has passed and all I know is that it feels like forever. But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head and it's the stars. The stars that shine for you and it's the stars. The stars that lie to you, yeah  
><em>

Yamato was sufficiently uncomfortable, that was for sure. Takeru had cornered him the next day and make him promise he'd come over for dinner. So, here he sat, poking at his food while his mother and brother made strained small talk. He really didn't know what to say to them. Past "hello" he'd run out of interesting things.

"So, Yamato, sweetie, how's that band of yours?" his mother asks, finally attempting to add him to the conversation.

"Uhm, well, good I guess, we have a gig next week," Yamato muttered, looking down into his plate, trying not to make himself look like a bigger fool than he already felt.

"Oh, that's great. What are you doing? Birthday, Wedding, playing at a local bar?"

"Actually we're opening for Three Doors Down and Shinedown(1)," Yamato said. He looked up to find his mother positively beaming at him.

"I'm so proud of you! When did you get to that level of popularity?"

"A year or so ago, we really hit it off with a few of our songs, and well, now we're opening for some pretty awesome bands. It's a cool experience we get to meet the bands and hang out with them. It's been a great experience to talk to other bands around the world and see how we differ in musical taste—" he cuts off finally when he realized he's babbling. "Uh, sorry…" he said uncomfortably, pushing uneaten food around on his plate.

"No, don't worry sweetie. I love hearing about your life. I just wish you'd be more open with me," his mother said, reaching across the table and setting her hand on his. He tensed up, moving away from her, not used to the affection he was receiving. "If you need to, you can go have a cigarette."

His eyes shot up to look his mother in the face, then accusingly at his younger brother. "oh, don't look at Takeru like that. He didn't tell me. I smelt it on you when you walked into the house, not to mention the restaurant where Takeru found out. I've known you smoked for a while."

"You-you don't care?" he said, fidgeting a bit, he figured both of his parents would strongly protest his smoking.

"Oh I care, I just also know you won't listen to me when I tell you to stop. Your father and I smoked quite a bit when we were kids and it took a life changing experience for us to stop. Either you will go through that, or I'll worry about it then. One day you'll quit. I believe that."

"Oh," was all Yamato could muster. He eyed his mother wearily. He really didn't believe that she was this calm about finding out her oldest son had been smoking for so long. She had turned back to her conversation with Takeru though, about his sports and how she thought they were interfering with his grades. Yamato felt a twinge of jealousy. Somewhere in his screwed up brain the dismissal of his smoking had just been twisted into feelings that his mother really didn't care for him. He couldn't take it anymore. "I've got to leave," was all he said before he stood and stormed out of the house.

He had taken the train to his mother's apartment because he'd been pretty sure something would have made him leave early. He looked at the sky, smiling when he saw two or three stares dotting the sky. "And it's the stars—the stars that shine for you. And it's the stars! The stars that lie to you, yeah."

_I'm looking at you through the glass. Don't know how much time has passed, oh God it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head._

"Why the hell did you run out like that?" Takeru asked, confronting Yamato as he locked his car. "I thought you said you missed mom?"

"Not as much as I thought," Yamato said, slinging his messengers bag over his shoulder. "Look, it's complicated, but mom and I—we don't really get along. You have to get used to that fact."

"What if I don't want to? Mom misses you and wants to spend more time with you, why won't you let her into your life? What did she ever do to you? She just wants to be your mother Yamato."

"Well, she should have thought of that before abandoning me and dad without a second thought on what it would make me feel," Yamato spat, turning to face his brother. "Maybe she should take more of an interest in my life. She thinks I play birthdays for crying out loud! She knows nothing about me. I'm sick of trying to make her proud. She has you for that." Yamato ended the conversation by turning on his heels and storming into the building.

"He's a bit of a complicated person," Taichi said, appearing at Takeru's side. "Just give him time and he'll come around."

"Oh, thanks, that means a lot coming from you!" Takeru spat, growling at the brunette.

"Why do you dislike me so much?" Taichi asked, turning toward the young boy who he once called friend.

"I know what you did. I know how you hurt Yamato. He may have forgiven you, but I won't."

"You aren't mad at that, are you? You're more upset that he's friends with me again and won't give you the time of day," Taichi translated, cocking his head, challenging Takeru to tell him differently. "I get it, but you have to realize I'm trying here. I'm trying. I've screwed up so much in my life all I want to do is rebuild it before I've burned every bridge. If you want to be mad at me because I'm mending my mistakes, go ahead, but if you want to try and help me find your brother I destroyed so long ago, now would be the time to man up."

Takeru could only stare at the brunette. The words Daisuke spoke earlier rang true. He may not know it, but Taichi was in love with Yamato. Takeru shook his head of the thoughts. There wasn't a chance in hell that he'd say them to Taichi that would still probably freak the boy out more than necessary. "Fine, but I still don't like you," he conceded, looking to Taichi.

"Fair enough, Takeru, fair enough. I haven't done too much in the past few years to gain your acceptance. Just ask Akira he'd gladly tell you everything I've ever done wrong, and then some. I'm sure you and he could start quite the hate club for me."

We'll have to get tee-shirts, and we could meet on Tuesdays," Takeru said, smirking up at Taichi.

"That's the spirit," he said before heading in for class. Takeru followed shortly after him, wondering if he was ever going to get the brother he remembered back. He missed him so much.

'_Cause I'm looking at you through the glass don't know how much time has passed. All I know is that it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head and it's the stars the stars that shine for you, yeah and it's the stars the stars that lie to you, yeah. _

Yamato found himself out on the balcony later that night, the fight with Takeru still fresh in his mind. He really didn't understand why his brother had started battling to be allowed in his life. For the first couple of months Takeru was relatively quiet, and ignored Yamato for the most part, the elder had thought he'd made his point clear enough for Takeru to know that he was toxic to his high school career.

"Takeru beat the crap out of some kid on the first day of term because they called you a fag," the voice made Yamato jump, and he turned to find Taichi leaning against the wall, looking out into the night sky. "I had to pull them a part. That's when Takeru found out about everything that had happened to you."

"So, my brother's known this entire time about everything I've hidden from him?" Yamato asked, taking another drag off of his cigarette. "Great, he's pretty much screwed isn't he?"

"The basketball team isn't like the football team. They have swing in the school but not as much. Most of them were proud of what he did. That's why he got called back and allowed to try out again. Its why he didn't get suspended. You don't give him enough credit," Taichi observed.

"Who are you to judge my relationship? When's the last time you actually talked toyour younger sister?" Yamato asked him.

"Last night, she was telling me about how she was disappointed I was so mean to you. I shrugged and switched the subject. Some things are just hard to do, but you have to try. If you don't change your relationship with Takeru you'll regret it forever."

"The stars are bright tonight," Yamato commented, blatantly changing the subject. "Remember when you and I used to write stories about them? Back when nothing mattered? Then we'd tell them to Hikari and Takeru to get them to go to sleep.

"I miss it too," Taichi said, ignoring the cut off conversation. "I miss when we were younger and nothing mattered."

_And it's the stars, The stars that shine for you, yeah, And it's the stars  
>The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah Who are the stars? Who are the stars that lie?<em>

* * *

><p>1: Literally the last two bands to play on my Pandora channel.<p>

A/n: Well, that was… different than what I intended. Ah well. I think I like it. As always read and review!


	14. Breakeven

A/n: That was the worst semester I've ever had in college. I am so sorry for the like four month delay! I thought I was going to drown in papers. My roommate and I went through five reams of paper in one semester. Five. We printed off so much I might have to spend two weeks planting trees so I don't feel like I've killed an entire forest by myself. I'm hoping to have quicker updates now that I'm out of school, but I do have work, and you never know what is going to pop up and surprise me. Two weeks ago I fractured my wrist. (It's been such a great year so far…..) I'm going to try my hardest to finish this puppy before I get off summer holiday though. This chapter song is Breakeven by The Script. Thank you to Akira Nishikawa, MaryWatanuki and TogetherAgain for your reviews last chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Neither Yamato or myself owns Breakeven.

* * *

><p><em>I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. Just praying to a God that I don't believe in 'cause I got time while she got freedom 'cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even.<em>

It had happened suddenly. Taichi wasn't really sure what had happened. The rest of his family had gone to a cheerleading competition for the weekend. He'd had opted to stay home to work more on some football stuff. His parents had reluctantly agreed, only doing so when his younger sister, Hikari, had reminded them that he was going into playoffs with a completely rookie team. He'd been on his bed half-asleep when he suddenly remembered he'd kissed Yamato. The way his lips felt, the look of shock on the other's face, everything had just come flooding back to him.

He was, for the most part, freaking out.

He didn't understand why suddenly, out of nowhere, these thoughts and feelings just jumped into his subconscious and threw him for a loop. He remembered the kiss between Yamato and himself, but the thing was—he wanted to do it again. He rolled over on his bed and pushed his pillow into his face. Where the hell had all of these images come from? It had to do with hormones right? People sometimes had weird dreams and feelings for their friends when they went through puberty… right? 'You've always kind of like him' a voice of reason whispered in his brain. He shook the voice away. No. He hadn't. Yamato had been his best friend. He'd never wanted him. 'You were jealous that day he chose to hang out with the band freaks instead of you.'

Taichi ignored the voice and stood up. He wasn't going to have this battle inside of him. He was straight. He liked girls. He never felt anything else for anyone but girls. There was no possible way. Everyone always said that you just knew when you were gay, or when you liked someone. He didn't just know. He was confused and frustrated. It was never this hard with girls. He made his way out onto the deck and stared out over the skyline.

"Why do you look like you just watched your whole family die?" the voice made him jump in the air. He turned to see Yamato looking at him with a questioning glance, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "Jumpy tonight, are we?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, my hair is naturally blonde."

"No, I was wondering… how did you know… I-mean… when did you figure out you… liked boys?" he asked, looking away from Yamato quickly. He knew the blue-eyed boy was staring at him intensely.

"Something you want to tell me?" Yamato asked. Taichi could practically see his eyebrow raise in question.

"No, just curious what it's like. I mean, you hear everyone always say that they knew right away. Did you?" Taichi was trying to keep his voice uncaring, like he was just asking a question but he wasn't sure that he was accomplishing that.

"Well, I don't really know. I was really confused for a long time and kind of struggled with whether or not I was just imagining it, or if I actually liked boys. I once asked Yukata to help me, he kissed me. It was then I kind of figured it out. I never really stopped thinking about it. Eventually I realized I liked it, and after trying it with a few fangirls I found that I liked it with boys more. Well, really, at all. It was—awkward with girls. Why do you want to know this?"

"No reason," Taichi said turning on his heels and leaving a confused Yamato sitting on the fire escape.

_The best days will be some of my worst, she finally met a man who's gonna put her first. While_

_I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping 'cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you, and What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok. I'm falling to pieces yeah I'm falling to pieces._

"I just had the weirdest conversation with Taichi," Yamato said, sitting down next to Tevin. The black and red haired boy looked up curiously.

"What did he ask you about, Yami?" he asked, flipping a page in his book. They were sitting in the music room in the school waiting for classes to start. Yamato laid his head on the table in front of him letting the cool surface stick to his cheek.

"He asked me when I figured out that I was gay."

"Well, that's a random change of events," Tevin said. He set his book down onto the table and gave his full attention to the blonde. "Why do you think he was asking that?" Yamato just shrugged at the question. He really didn't know what he was supposed to think. Taichi had seemed so confused on the deck this morning, and he wondered why the other boy had even been considering anything to do on the subject matter. As far as anyone knew, Taichi was as straight as could be, and hated the very idea of anything different defining his life. He'd made that apparently clear on many occasions.

Still. There was that kiss. "Do you think it has something to do with you and him k—

"No, we aren't going to talk about that," Yamato said shortly, giving his most convincing death glare to Tevin. "It didn't mean anything, we should just drop the subject."

"Did you tell him about how you figured it all out?" Tevin asked, his curious piqued. He was interested to see where this conversation would go. Yamato never really talked about anything from when he was younger, and Tevin always liked to hear the stories he was willing to tell.

"Not all of it," Yamato answered, slightly distracted. "I didn't mention anything about his football team attacking me being right after Yukata kissed me. I also didn't tell him about the conversation between my father and me."

"What conversation with your father?"

"Nothing," Yamato said, leaning back in the chair. "It was a long time ago." _  
><em>  
><em>They say that things happen for a reason But no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding 'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even ohhhh And what am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok I'm falling to pieces, yea I'm falling to pieces (I'm still alive but the other one's leaving 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)<em>

"_Dad?" Yamato asked, peaking his head around the corner. It was just days after he'd been attacked at the high school. His dad had let him stay home from school, and had taken work off to be with his son. The only problem was, his dad hadn't spoken to him since he'd seen the imprinted "fag" written across his skin. Furious scrubbing had removed the spray paint. Yamato silently moved over to sit across from his father. Tears threatened to fall, but they stayed at the brim of his eyes not daring to move farther. "Do—do you hate me?" _

"_How long have you been thinking you are gay, Yamato?" Hirokai asked, finally looking up at his son for the first time in days. _

"_Please don't—_

"_Answer me!" Hirokai yelled, Yamato whimpered, letting one of the tears leak out of his eyes. Before he knew it he'd dissolved into tears. "Oh, Yamato, I'm sorry." His dad cooed softly, coming over to hug him. "I'm not angry at you. I just want to know, why didn't you come to me?" _

"_Taichi's dad—he said a lot of mean things in the past about—well, gays and me and how we dress. I was scared you'd throw me out of the house." Yamato answered, hiccupping through his tears. _

"_No, I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair. You don't choose things like this. It's who you are. It may sound corny, and like a bad movie, but you can't change the way you feel anymore than I can change loving your mom." _

"_Dad, is… is it bad I still have a crush on Taichi? I-I never really considered it a crush until Yukata kissed me, but I realized I wanted him to be the one to kiss me instead of Yukata. After—after what happened. Should I still feel this way? He hurt me. He doesn't accept me." _

"_I'm not going to tell you how to feel Yamato. I'm just going to tell you to protect your heart, and yourself. Don't get involved in anything that will hurt you too much. Love is worth some pain, but when it shatters, you don't feel like you can ever move on." _

"_Did the love between you and mom shatter?" Yamato asked, lifting his head. Hirokai shook his head. _

"_It fractured. I'll never quit loving your mother, and she won't quit loving me. Unless we're together. Then everything will shatter. We weren't meant to be."_

"_Maybe it's the same with Taichi and me," Yamato whispered, standing up. "Maybe I shouldn't bother with him anymore." He walked away from his father. "I'm going to stay home one more day, you can go back to work. I'll try school again next week," he said, disappearing into his room and shutting the door quietly._

_He didn't sleep very well that night, even though his father was okay with everything that had happened he was frightened at how the school would react when he came back for his first day of school. Not everyone was going to be as accepting as his father. _

_Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain you took his suitcase - I took the blame Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains Oh cause you left me with no love in order to my name I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing Just praying to a God that I don't believe in 'Cause I got time while she got freedom 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break no it don't break no it don't break even. _

_Yamato took a deep breath, looking out the car window at the school in front of him. He didn't really want to be here. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home one more day?" Hirokai asked, setting his hand on Yamato's shoulder. "No one would blame you if you needed more time, son." _

"_No, if I don't go now I'll never go back to school. I'll only be afraid for the rest of my life," Yamato answered. "The best way to get over this is to face it head on." _

_Hirokai sighed, "You are too smart for your age sometimes. Call me at any time if you want to leave. My boss has a soft spot for you, he won't mind if I have to come and get you, okay?" Yamato nodded before opening the door and leaving the car. He was happy his dad offered but it wasn't an offer he planned on actually taking. He could do this, he thought as his dad's car pulled out of the drop off line. _

_Squaring his shoulders, Yamato pushed open the door and kept his head down, ignoring everyone was he went in. Without looking up he could hear the whispers spreading around him, and he could feel the burning eyes of his peers following him as he walked. "Yamato!" he looked up at the shout to see his friends making their way toward him. "You're alive!" Akira said, smiling as he stopped in front of his friend. _

"_Yama, I'm so sorr—_

_"Don't Yukata, it wasn't your fault." Yamato said, for what felt like the hundredth time. Yukata hadn't stopped apologizing since everything had happened. "You can't con—_

"_Fag," a kid said, cutting Yamato off and pushing him forward into Takashi, who caught him and helped straighten him up. Yamato flinched at the comment. _

"_Hey, jerk wad!" Akira spat, turning and grabbing the kid by the collar of his shirt. "Do it again, and you'll be looking at the ceiling with a bloody nose before you can understand what's happening to you." Akira let him go, shoving him a little before turning back to see Yamato, staring off at the wall, a blank look on his face. _

"_Yamato, are you alright?" _

"_No," he answered.  
><em>  
><em>And what am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you, and what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok. I'm falling to pieces yeah<em>

"I'm falling to pieces," Yamato sang softly, looking out over the night sky. He scribbled down the lyrics on his note book and took the cigarette out of his mouth with the other. He had been working on this song, every since the first day of school after he was attacked. The song just never felt right to him and he didn't know exactly what it needed in it. He sighed and scribbled out some lyrics, making notes in the margarines about what he wanted to change.

"What are you singing?" Taichi asked, appearing out of nowhere. Yamato looked up at him, confusion written on his face. Taichi had football after school until five thirty. "You've been out here for a long time," Taichi supplied, holding his phone up. "It's nearly six. I've been in my roon doing homework but I couldn't concentrate with you singing random lines of a song, so I came out to see what you were up too."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," Yamato said, taking a drag of cigarette, before tapping it against the ash tray. The sun was setting now, and he looked up to see the beautiful reds and purples littering the sky. Taichi shook his head.

"You didn't. It's just been a while since I've seen you out here working on your music. Writing something new?"

"No, I've been working on it since ninth grade. It's coming together slowly, I guess," Yamato said, flipping the notebook closed and setting it on the table next to him, dropping the pencil on the top of the book.

"Can I read it?" Taichi asked, the question surprising both of them. He hadn't read or heard any of Yamato's songs in a long time, ever since he wrote Mad World all those years ago. Yamato shrugged, not knowing what to say, before pushing the book toward him. Taichi opened it to the worn page, and read through all of the notes. "It's so sad." He commented. "I noticed a lot of your music has been sad for a long time."

"Yeah, well, I haven't really been happy in a while," Yamato responded, looking away from the brunette. "It's just a bit hard when your school sucks and the only person who gives a crap about you is stuck at work all the damn time trying to make your life worth living in the first place."

"People, care, I mean, just look at your friends," Taichi said, handing the purple notebook back to Yamato. "They go out of their way to make you happy, and you do the same for them. I'll tell you a little secret, I've always been a bit jealous of your guys' friendship. Mine never really work out like that. Either I get sick of people, or they get sick of me." Taichi said, sitting down with his back against the cool brick. "Or I do something stupid and ruin a perfectly good friendship for no reason."

"Thanks, Taichi, but I haven't been alright in a long time. Some half-assed words about people caring isn't going to help me any right now." Taichi sighed and stood up, making his way to the window. Sometimes he didn't know why he tried.

"I care about you too, by the way. I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. The worst mistake I've ever made in my life was choosing other friends over you. I just thought—I thought I needed the football team. You were leaving me for the band and I reacted badly. I hope you know that I still care for you."

"Thanks Taichi," Yamato said, his voice quiet in the still night. Taichi nodded and made his way into the house. He didn't want to tell Yamato, but he'd been breaking apart since that stupid fight as well. The flashes of the kiss returned to his head, and he shook it violently. He didn't need to be thinking that way when it was clear that Yamato didn't like him at all. Besides, he still was too confused to really know what he was feeling. He heard Yamato singing softly again, "_'Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even"_

_(I'm still alive but the other one's leaving.) Oh it don't break even no,ohh. It don't break even no, ohh. It don't break even no…._

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><p>An: There you are. The end of the chapter. Sorry it took so long. Looks like we've got some confused Taichi going on. Please remember to read and review. I hope to have another chapter up in two weeks. Here's to hoping nothing else goes wrong!


	15. Paitence

A/n This is going to be posted a few days after my two week mark, but all things considered I think I updated in a pretty desent amount of time compared to when I was in school. Thank you to Another Star, Akira Nishikawa, MaryWatanuki, and Petite Neko Kitsune for your reviews last chapter. The song this chapter is Patience by Guns N' Roses.

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own Digimon and neither Yamato nor I own Patience by Guns N' Roses.

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><p><em>Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you I'm still alright to smile. Girl, I think about you every day now was a time when I wasn't sure but you set my mind at ease. There is no doubt you're in my heart now.<br>_

"I don't understand why you are asking me this." Daisuke said, turning to his football captain with an exasperated look on his face. He fell backwards, onto his bed, wincing slightly when he fell onto one of his cleats. He pulled it out from underneath him, and threw it across the room. Taichi sat staring at him in his rolling desk chair. The chair was wobbling slightly because one of the wheels had popped off a few weeks prior and Daisuke hadn't bothered to locate it yet. If Taichi noticed, he hadn't said anything yet.

"I just—I'm curious how you decided that you liked guys. Is it such a big deal?" Taichi asked him, trying hard to keep his face straight, like the answer wasn't going to affect him in any way. Daisuke ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Taichi had been acting a little weird for the past few weeks, and out of nowhere had dropped this question on him. He had no idea how to answer the question.

"I don't really know," he said, sitting up in his bed. "I was really confused for a long time, and then when I met Ken—

"You just knew?" Taichi asked, if Daisuke hadn't known any better he'd say the other brunette was waiting with baited breath. As if this answer would change everything he believed in. He really wished that Taichi would just tell him what all of this was about already.

"No," Daisuke started slowly, "actually, everything just became worse. I was so scared of what you'd think, what the team would think, and how my family would react I actually ignored what I was feeling for a while and wished it away. It took Ken a while to convince me that there was nothing wrong with how I felt, or who I am."

"Oh," Taichi said, standing up and making to exit from the room. Daisuke jumped up and grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait," he said, desperately trying to figure out what he was going to ask Taichi. "What does all of this matter? What's going on?" he blurted out before he could think of a better way to ask his friend. Taichi just shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess I was just wondering what it was like," Taichi answered, not turning to face Daisuke.

"You haven't known a lot of things lately. Does—Does this have anything to do with your kissing Yamato?" Daisuke asked, Taichi tensed, and opened the door fast.

"Of course not. I'm not a fag" he said, slamming the door behind him. Daisuke sighed and moved back over to his desk, and sat down. He let his head fall with a soft thump onto the wooden surface below. The cold washed over him as he heard the text chime on his phone. He reached over and found a text from Taichi simply saying "I'm Sorry." Daisuke shook his head and moved over to his dresser to get ready for school.

_Said woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience said Sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine. All we need is just a little patience (Patience)  
>Mm, yeah<em>

Sitting out on the fire escape that night, the only thing Yamato really noticed was that it was colder than usual. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a quick puff and tapping off some of the ashes. Taichi had never come out to join him, and even though it was becoming rare for the two of them not to be out on the fire escape at the same time, Yamato was enjoying the time by himself. It seemed in the past few months he really hadn't had any time to sit and think. He'd gotten caught up in the whirlwind of Taichi coming back into his life and he never really had time to process how he felt about Taichi coming back into his life. That itself was somewhat of a troubling question.

Although he would never admit it out loud, his first crush had been on Taichi. He'd lied to his band mates when he'd said Yukata started it all, before he even met them, he remembered having strong feelings for Taichi but not really understanding the difference between what he felt and just having a close friendship with someone. "You've been spending a lot of time out here lately." Yamato jumped at the sound of his father's voice before he quickly tried to put the cigarette sitting between his fingers out. "Valliant effort, but I've known you smoked for quite a while Yamato."

"Why did you never say anything?" Yamato asked, tilting his head sideways at his father, bringing the cigarette up to his lips again. Blue smoke followed his movements in the late night air, and his dad just smiled.

"I smoked at your age too. It took me a long time to discover that I didn't need it as much as I thought. I know you're a smart kid. I know you'll figure out the damage it does before me. I also think you got your mother's stubborn side, so even if I were to ban you from smoking, and take away your cigarettes you'd go behind my back. Then I'd have to ground you, and you'd rebel more. It would be quite the mess really," Hiroaki said, laughing at the confused look that passed over Yamato's face. "Why are you out here chain smoking? You didn't even come in and say hello to me. I came home early and everything."

"I'm sorry," Yamato said. "I forgot you were coming home early tonight. I was just out here thinking. I usually sit out here and think all night when you were gone, but I was planning on making you dinner."

"No worries. I already ordered out. It'll be here in twenty. What were you thinking about?"

"Taichi" Yamato said simply, he had never really been that good at hiding things from his father, so he didn't figure he should try now. Hiroaki nodded and leaned back in the old green lawn chair he was sitting in.

"I noticed you two have been hanging out more," he said, giving Yamato a sideways glance. "Why is that exactly? Last I remember you were never going to give him a second chance."

"I don't know, he just kind of exploded back into my life and I can't get him to leave. Wait… how did you know I've been hanging around him? You're hardly ever here." Yamato questioned, looking over to his father, as he tapped more ashes off of his cigarette. He took the final drag and put the butt out, but didn't reach for the pack again. The least he could do was not smoke around his dad.

"A not-so-little birdie told me, when he came over last week looking for his basketball shorts he apparently left here."

"Takeru?"

"Mmhmm"

"Little sneak," Yamato muttered. His father let out a small laugh. "Yeah, he seems different but I still don't really know where I stand with him. One minute we're friends, and the next it's like it was at the beginning of the year. We just don't really seem to be on the same page."

"What else is bothering you?" Hiroaki asked, nudging his son in the side.

"He kissed me a few weeks ago. And the other day he asked me how I figured out that I was gay… if I didn't know any better—

"You'd think he was confused, and might possibly have feelings for guys?" Hiroaki asked, finishing the thought for his son. Yamato nodded. "Well, if that's the case, be patient, supportive, and try not to scare him away. You remember what it was like for you don't let that happen to him too." Hiroaki said, standing up to answer the doorbell that had chimed within the house. Yamato ran a hand through his hair and sighed, before following his dad back into the apartment for dinner.

_I sit here on the stairs. 'Cause I'd rather be alone. If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear. Sometimes I get so tense but I can't speed up the time but you know love there's one more thing to consider. _

"So, Taichi, let me get this straight, you went to Yami for advice, and ended up talking to him about something else, then you decided to ask Daisuke, and insulted him, so then you come to me after giving Daisuke a half assed apology." Tevin said, trying to keep up with Taichi as he ran around the track at school.

"Yes." Taichi said simply, picking his speed up a little bit. Tevin groaned and tried to catch up with him.

"Great. Next question, why are we talking while we run at seven o'clock at night?" Tevin panted, trying his hardest to keep up with Taichi.

"Because we're at school and I don't want anyone hearing what we're saying."

"OH, great. That makes perfect sense," Tevin said sarcastically, before grabbing Taichi and making him slow to a walk. "We can walk then. No need to run right now. We have plenty of time for cardio when we aren't having a corny heart-to-heart." Taichi shrugged his hand off, but kept walking alongside Tevin. "Good, now how can I be of service to you and Yami?"

"What would you say if I said, I kept kind of thinking about that kiss we shared?" Taichi asked, bracing himself for the response he was sure to get. Tevin stopped walking for a moment, before regaining his composure, and hurrying to catch up with Taichi.

"You have a crush on Yami? You?" Tevin said, not bothering to hide his glee. Taichi glared at him, before smacking his arm.

"I didn't say crush, I said I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss—

"Kind of the definition of a crush there, Taichi."

"It. Is. Not. A. Crush." Taichi said, grinding his teeth together. Tevin held up his hands.

"Okay, okay, not a crush. What are you trying to ask me about?" Tevin asked, trying to hide the disappointment and irritation from his voice. Taichi just shrugged.

"I can't stop thinking about it, and I don't know why. I wanted to know if you had any advice on how I could get it out of my head," Taichi said, slowing his walk a little more. Tevin slowed to keep pace and waited for him to continue his thought. "I need to know how to stop thinking about it."

"Do-Do you want to do it again?" Tevin asked quietly, "did you like it?" Taichi looked at him, before walking off the track leaving the questions unanswered."

_Said woman take it slow and things will be just fine. You and I'll just use a little patience. Said sugar take the time 'cause the lights are shining bright. You and I've got what it takes to make it  
>We won't fake it, I'll never break it. 'Cause I can't take it<em>

_Sora pulled back away from Taichi, wiping the spittle off of her red lips. Taichi sat back, stunned a little. He'd just gotten his first kiss, and he had no idea what he felt about it. He felt numb inside, and a little guilty that the only thing that really registered to him was that Sora's lips were cold, and she had way too much saliva in her mouth. It had grossed him out a little, but as far as he knew, that was how it was supposed to be. So he smiled. "That was fun," he said, leaning back. Sora giggled and put her head onto his shoulder. _

_He grimaced a little bit, she was always so close to him. It made him queasy, but she liked to cuddle, and she was scary when she was pissed. So he did it with her just to keep her happy. "I enjoyed it too. You're so good at kissing," she purred running her hand up his chest. He smiled down at her before drawing her in closer. This was what it was supposed to feel like. So why wasn't he happy?_

_Little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah. Need a little patience, yeah._

"_What was it like man?" Jetsu asked, bumping his shoulder as he caught up with Taichi. _

"_What was what like?" Taichi asked, confusion written across his face, he had just arrived at school in the morning and already people were buzzing around him, giving him high-fives and congratulating him. For the life of him he could not figure out why. _

"_Dude, Sora's already been around school bragging about your big night? Ah? You have to share man, how was hitting that?" Jetsu made rude gestures in the hallway until a teacher scolded him. _

"_Fine I guess, we didn't actually sleep together, we just made out." Taichi said, shrugging off the attention he was getting. He really didn't get why it was that big of a deal or why everyone wanted him to share his night with them. Wasn't it supposed to be private, and just for them? _

_Jetsu laughed, "Right, suure. That's all you did. I get it man, not wanting to talk about your conquests. It'll bring up your credibility." _

_Just a little patience, yeah. Some more patience, yeah (I've been walking the streets at night, just trying to get it right) A little patience, yeah (It's hard to see with so many around.)  
><em>

Yamato found himself outside on the fire escape again after his dad had fallen asleep. He couldn't get to sleep after what his dad had said to him so, once again he was on the fire escape thinking about everything. "Hey," he turned and saw Taichi join him. He waved, but decided not to speak for the time being. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, hesitating only for a second when he thought of his dad knowing.

"What are you doing up so late?" Taichi tried again, jumping over the railing to join Yamato on his side. Yamato put his feet down so Taichi could sit across from him.

"I was just thinking about my dad," he answered almost truthfully. "apparently he's known for a while that I smoke, and just thinks I'll figure out eventually that it's bad for me. He's always been so- lenient with his rules. So accepting of everything I do."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Taichi asked, getting a little closer to Yamato. "I mean, look at my dad, would you rather have that?"

"No," Yamato said slowly, scooting away from Taichi, bringing his legs up closer to his chest. "I like that he's that lenient. It's just so hard to know which way I should go when he doesn't care."

"I don't think that he doesn't care. I just think that he wants you to figure it out on your own."

"Mmm, I suppose you're right. Anyway, where have you been since school ended? I thought you guys lost in the semi-finals." Yamato asked, taking another cigarette out and starting it.

"Ah not much just spent some time talking to Tevin. He's got it in his head that I have a crush."

"Oh yeah? On who?" Yamato asked, smirking at Taichi. Taichi shifted slightly bringing himself closer to the blonde. Ever since his conversation with Tevin he'd wanted to try to kiss him again. He had to know. He had to prove Tevin wrong. He had to make sure that he didn't want this. He was almost positive that he didn't want this kiss to happen, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. If he kissed Yamato again he would know it was the same as Sora, and he would know that he wasn't gay.

"Yamato! go to bed. You have school in the morning." Both boys jumped at the sound of Hiroaki's voice. Yamato cleared his throat.

"Uh… I have to go," Yamato said jumping up, and crawling through the window. Taichi sighed and let his head fall back. What the hell had he been thinking?

_You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd). Could use some patience, yeah (And the streets don't change but maybe the names) (I ain't got time for the game 'cause I need you) Gotta have more patience, yeah (Yeah, yeah but I need you) All need some patience (Ooh I need you, whoa I need you) Just a little patience is all you need (Ooh, this time, ah)_

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><p>An: Just over my two week mark, and I was working more than I will be for the rest of the summer. I think I can do this. I'll see you guys in about another two weeks with another chapter. Don't forget to read and review.


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